With the season 7 of Entourage fast approaching (June 27th), I am fucking pumped - lets just hope they dont fuck it up and keep the jokes fresh, cameos funny and take the characters to new and interesting places. Anyway, I was thinking about my entourage the other day and just who out of my buddies would make the cut and why and whittled it down to 4: 1. The Lawyer: One of my very good friends who I have known since college. The guy is so laid back its frightening but at the same time, he is the voice of reason a 'consiglieri' of sorts. Works at a very prestigious law firm but still manages somehow to hang out once in a while. If I was in trouble of any sort, this would be FIRST guy I would call. Reliable, calm but if provoked he will go all out to finish you - being 3rd degree black belt helps with that. It takes a LOT to get him riled up, but cross him one too many times and he will let you know about it. 2. The PartyBoy: Again, another college buddy - this is the sort of guy you want around when you go out. A trained dancer, he constantly has women all over him simply because he can make moves on the dancefloor and has way with words that can 'charm the birds from the trees' - which is a lethal combination. He is also the life and soul of the party, extremely extroverted and you are guaranteed to have a good night out if he is in town. 3. The Entrepreneur: Probably the most successful out of all of us, this guy owns 3 businesses built from scratch and is always floating new ideas to me. Good ideas. I just dont have the balls or time right now to do anything about it yet. Extremely driven, definitely on course to live a life of luxury in the future which he deserves and awesome well rounded guy. 4. The Doc: I have mentioned this guy in a previous thread involving 'masturbation' and 'mens tennis' (<a class="postlink-local" href="http://www.theidiotboard.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&p=53440#p53440" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">viewtopic.php?f=1&p=53440#p53440</a>). His role speaks for itself, its always good to have a Doctor who is a good friend around for advice ranging from Flu-related questions to STD-related. Focus: Which of your friends would be in your Entourage and why? Alt. Focus: If you could have any celeb in your Entoruage who would they be and why? Have at it.
You must be watching a different 'Entourage'. Alt. Focus: I only need one celebrity in my entourage. Peter Stormare. His job is to wear sunglasses and follow me around. Any time someone disagrees with me, he steps in between us, puts a finger in their chest, and says "Watch your tongue, Mr. Son of Bitch." in a Russian accent. That's all. That's all he'll ever do.
Alt. Focus: Right away, the Dos Equis guy popped into my head. You'd be stupid not to have him in your entourage. Stay thirsty, my friends.
All my friends are geeks. No lawyers, doctors, or anyone of any special skill. If I had to choose a celebrity to be in my entourage I would choose James Marsden just so I could bang on the door yelling "Marsden, Marsden, come out here Marsden!" Big props to anyone that gets that reference.
Wait, people actually care about where this show goes? I admit I enjoy it, but only when they are doing fuckall, getting drunk, and fucking whores. This show has made me fantasize about winning the powerball, buying a huge mansion and inviting my friends to live with me. We would do nothing but get drunk, sleep with whores and make fun of each other. When you have fuck you money you don't have to care about who is in entourage. You can pay someone to join it.
My Celebrity Entourage The Muscle - Jack Bauer, Mark Wahlberg, Liam Neeson The Smooth Talker - Brad Pitt from Ocean's Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen The Fast Driver - Jason Stratham from Transporter 1/2/3 The Brain - The Wolf from Pulp Fiction I am an equal opportunity employer, my entourage just happens to be all white.
Alt Focus: In my entourage would be Ted Turner, from the greatest show called, "It's Ted Fucking Turner." Money, women, sailing knowledge and wisdom, and just the right amount of total insanity to make for a fun day.
Alt-Focus This guy. Trejo was the undefeated lightweight and welterweight boxing champ during a long stay in San Quentin. If I had this guy one my side I wouldn't hesitate to pick a fight with god himself. Although he's probably not much of a partier with his involvement in narcotics anonymous and all, the sheer intimidation factor this guy has is off the charts... I'd be such a douchebag if this guy had my back.
Going back to what I think the gist of this thread was...our friends that would make up our entourage... 1.) The Lawyer (cop). A good friend of mine (speed dial no. 1 based on my proclivity to drink heavily) is a local detective. He is awesome, though he has a nasty temper especially when he's drunk; which is often. 2.) The party guy. My brother. We didn't always get along, in fact he's the one who broke my nose and introduced me to mitten boxing and tussle mania when we were young, he's three years older and used to be bigger,stronger, faster. Still one of the few I know who can drink like a mad man, remain funny, and pull women. 3.) The Entrepreneur. None of us know what he actually does but he knows how to make money, he will always make sure his friends are ok, and as a bonus he can drink like no one I know (consistantly, heavily, and he's enough of a dick that nothing will stop him) plus I've known him since the early eighties. 4.) The Asshole. Another long time friend. He is hands down the biggest (litterally and figuratively) asshole I know. Always funny and ripping on people in ways that make my tender ears bleed (ok not really I'm a pretty good asshole when I get going, I just wanted to emphasize that he's a prick) and a heavy drinker. 5.) The enforcer. I'm going to be an idiot here for the sake of humor, gimme Chuck Norris. 'nough said. Yes I choose my friends on their ability to drink and we rock when we're all out together.
The Lunatic Ladies Man My friend El Nino takes the bill on this one, because women melt like hot butter over this crazy bastard, and he's the toughest and most intimidating person I've ever met, and I've been to jail. He's also hysterical and the hardest to control when wasted, so it's always fun to be around him. HE is exceptional at playing the "bad guy" when he goes drinking, because everything he says to strangers is meant to hurt. The One Like Me My friend Sipowitz (we joke that he looks like Dennis Franz) was my utter and complete nemesis is high school, I hated every molocule of his being. Three years ago he was my best man. Aside from the fact he bitches about everything, we share same tastes in everything from music to sports, and he is a friend with a loyalty you won't find in many people. Also a player, he has a real gift of gab that amazes even me. The Bodyguard My friend known as King Kong Lover-Lips is a professional lacrosse player and our resident ape, a guy so strong he doesn't fist-fight, but just grabs somebody and wrings their neck until they pass out (I have witnessed this) or throws them across the parking lot like a newspaper. He's also a complete crack-up as well. Moneybags My friend Shit-Boy is our investing wizard, a self-made success who loves to spread the wealth around when we go drinking. He's never a cheapskate, always intelligent and like me likes to draw towards gallows humour as a means of entertainment. He's also insane: at least a half dozen times his neighbours have called the police on him for backflipping off the roof of his house naked into his pool. The Funniest Guy I Know The real joker of my group comes in the form of Ol' Slippery. He gets that name because he has never, EVER spent the night with a woman he picked up (over 150 I think). He will take a girl back to her place in the cab, then whisper to the cab driver to come back in 15 minutes so he can escape. The shit that comes out of this guy's mouth when he drinks will void even the strongest bladder. For instance: he had two girls in his hot tub with him, when his dad came home from the Midnight shift. Instead of keeping it quiet, he yells at the top of his lungs "HEY OLD MAN!!! GET THOSE BIG BABOON BALLS IN THE HOT TUB ALREADY, I HAVE AN EAGER ONE FOR YOU IN HERE!!!" Jesus, what a psycho.
I had a really awesome group of friends in undergrad. Bunch of people with the same alcohol tolerance and taste in books and movies. We'd get hammered and stay up until sunrise talking about Jane Eyre or some shit. But, this thread makes me realize how much I hate the group of people I hang out with now, so I submit for your approval, the anti-Entourage: The Middle School Band Director This guy is Buzz Killington to the max. We drove from Alabama to Las Vegas together for Spring Break and he maybe gambled $5 and had two drinks the whole time. The top of his list of things to do in Vegas was see the Hoover Dam and David Copperfield. I had to practically drag him to the topless vampire show. The best thing about having him in the crew is that he rarely wants to hang out. The Trekkie This guy will seriously sit down and have a two hour conversation about Star Trek with you. Now, I'm a pretty big geek, and can geek it up for hours, but this guy will do it even when you demonstrate no interest in the subject, and he'll do it in lieu of talking to girls. He believes that Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology is the center of the universe, and if a girl isn't currently a student there, she's uggo. The War Pig Ugly girl to the max. Fat, hairy arms, and is going bald. Having this girl in your crew pretty much guarantees that no other girl in the place will go for you. It's a little tougher to pick up chicks with a train wreck guy wingman, but a train wreck girl...my game just isn't good enough to overcome that. Plus, having her around makes it really awkward when I want to rip on fat, ugly girls. The Ring Leader This is probably the most social person I know. Any time we go out, he knows the entire bar staff and half the people in the place. He organizes every outing, but somehow manages to put together some god awful evenings. While we used to go bar hopping, now the only bar he will go to is a gourmet beer place with no liquor, no decor, no music, no food and no women. He typically shows up between 30 and 90 minutes late, and gets a major deduction for always inviting the War Pig, who almost always shows up before he does. I realize this makes me sound like a complete asshole, and that's probably a fair assessment. There's probably some well deserved negative cred coming my way now. Anti-Focus Mother-freaking Tim Gunn. First, with him in your entourage, you know you're always going to be the second most stylish person around (after Tim, of course). And, he's going to attract tons of girls to your group, but since he's gay there's no competition. Also, he's pretty funny and I think would be a really cool guy to hang out with.
Go to 2:20. Alt-Focus: I can't believe no one has said this yet. Now I wouldn't want him in my entourage to hang out with me or anything like that, I'd just want him to follow me everywhere that I went and narrate everything that I did*. *Shamelessly lifted from the old board
I've got my token gay friend that I know I will have a LOAD OF FUN with when we got out together. He's always down for RACKIN' SOME BALLS at a pool hall, or BLOWIN' OFF work early to have an extended happy hour. Besides being a great drinking PARTNER the women are attracted to him to like flies on shit. I literally GET LAID EVERY TIME WE HANG OUT.
As for my group of friends: The Best Friends: Because I would hope the favor would be returned, even if I held no redeeming qualities. The Pretty Boy who is also the Toughest Dude I Know: A redneck, yet Armani model, has had to fight too many times due to girlfriends of dbs hitting on him. Has an affinity for starting a fight by saying "yea, she just offered to blow me in your car" and headbutting the guy in the nose. His runoff is better than 98% of the girls I've ever banged. The Girl: She's hot, and can hang with all the dick jokes and take a few mushroom caps on the beach and not freak out. If I had enough money to have an entourage it shouldn't be an issue, but having a girl for a wingman can't hurt. Alt: Mystery- Every group needs the guy to make fun of, and we can just tell him to "go to the corner and look enigmatic" whenever his pilot goggles fog up from tears and anger. Oscar Zeta Acosta, aka Dr. Gonzo- who doesn't love someone "not into serious street-fighting, but he was hell on wheels in a bar brawl. Any combination of a 250 lb Mexican and LSD-25 is a potentially terminal menace for anything it can reach - but when the alleged Mexican is in fact a profoundly angry Chicano lawyer with no fear at all of anything that walks on less than three legs and a de facto suicidal conviction that he will die at the age of 33 - just like Jesus Christ - you have a serious piece of work on your hands." Sascha Baron Cohen: I could get stoned and watch Ali G ask scientists and doctors, "So, is it true that all the 'youff in Asia' is killing dem old geezers?" all day.
His Majesty Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, the Lord Mountbatten. Mostly we'd sit around wearing tweeds drinking brandy, port or scotch, making offensive comments about women and minorities. Occasionally we'd do the same while deer stalking. You really need someone in your entourage who has a 40,000 acre private estate.