Not to go all Bunny on this thread, but I find it funny that even a glimpse of casual racism is immediately jumped on, but the glaring overwhelming misogyny inherent in every "I am the arbiter of my daughter's sexuality and don't you forget it!" story goes completely unexamined. I have no intentions of terrifying my daughter's boyfriends, I will merely raise her to terrify them herself. I'm going to have her read "The Game" like it's Clausewitz and I'm going to love her so much that she respects herself like a responsible gun owner respects a loaded firearm. How you like them apples, high school douchebags?
My girlfriend's parents are Chinese. So Chinese that they're still scarred by the cultural revolution. How have I bridged the cultural gap? I can use chopsticks just as good as her (I could barely use them at all when we started dating). I have tried to teach her the fine arts of using a fork and knife and not slurping when eating soup, but no dice. I can't say there's much of a real cultural divide between us, but there are some odd things. Young people who fancy themselves "Chinese" in this country (read: born to immigrant parents, or moved here as young children) really like sticking to themselves, and crank up the Chinese to compensate for something. Not many college students or members of Amnesty International think that Tibet is altogether too free and whining about nothing, but the ones I've met have, you guessed it, Chinese parents. I've never had a "I'm banging your daughter" conversation. Perhaps because I haven't met her parents (or at least, met them with the tag-line "Hey mom and dad, this gwai-zai is my boyfriend.") I did once hide in the second bathroom of her dorm suite, pantsless, while her brother came over for a surprise visit after she had accidentally locked us out of her room. That was kind of awkward. In any case, her mother has mentioned to her that she ought to find a nice Cantonese-speaking Chinese boy and marry him and open a business together, and has a stated dislike for my job. She also refers to me as "the white boy". People defend this nonsense as "a cultural thing". I think it's bullshit, myself. Anyways, I use this as an opportunity to make lots of offensive Asian jokes. People sometimes accuse me of being racist. When they drag out the "You think just because you're dating an Asian girl you can't be racist?". I then drag out the bit about her parents being quite glad to be prejudiced against me, while my parents have never made a peep about the types of people I should date or marry, and they shut up a bit. People who feel that they have to make ostentatious displays of not being prejudiced are the ones to be suspicious of.
I have to say something about Ms. Monroe, because I lived in New York for 3 years, and I know with NYU there, there are a bunch of non hip-hop ghetto guys that should be your type. I mean, if you're artsy, there should be a ton in Manhattan, in the village. I mean, at least one that travels from CT. You're probably not going to find any in Brooklyn if that's where you currently are. I'm black, and I can't even get into that culture. I'm not sure a fair chance has been had because there are as many black guys that like indie rock and wear skinny jeans as there are white guys who listen to nothing but Tupic and Biggie. What has the sample size been? Where are these men being met? I also forgot the time I dated a middle eastern girl in Highschool that was too stupid to know if she was from Palestine or Israel. I asked her what she was and she said "Oh my family is from that Palestinian/Israeli area." Now, I think we can be all PC, and smart about the situation when it comes to cultural divides and smart about not asking stupid things but...what about Indian culture. Anyone not Indian date an Indian girl? How did you do it? How did her parents take it? I cannot find the article anywhere but there was an academic article that the NYT picked up about what races were more likely to date outside their race by gender. The only thing I can remember is that Asian women are more likely to date outside their race then Asian men by like 70% and Black women were 90% more likely to stay in-side their race while Black men are 50/50 or something close. Still looking for it.
I had an Indian girl as a roommate a year and a half ago. She was super sweet, very beautiful, and in great shape (she was in the top 5 for tennis in India for her age/group at the time, though that may have changed since she is playing college level tennis in the US now). I have to say though, she was completely and undeniably batshit insane. For instance, she thought it was acceptable to call repeatedly, over and over and over, upwards of 15 times. Texting? Same thing. She would literally cry to me about her boy problems, and when I told her that she probably needed to just communicate with her boyfriend, she would tell me that she didn't know how to talk to him, and then continue on with her tantrum. She had some Indian boyfriend before she moved to the states, and apparently this is the way that they behaved towards each other. It is apparently a societal norm to be both obsessive and crazy, yet at the same time, not truly communicate. Her ex would still call her when she moved into my dorm. He did some crazy stalker shit, like mail her a package with every single message they had exchanged, in a three ring binder, with choice excerpts highlighted. These messages included texts, emails, instant messages, and facebook wall messages, going back 5 years. He also filled the package with about 10lbs of candy and treats, but that was normal compared to his and her other behavior. The most insane part about this package was that she didn't find it weird. Yes, you read that correctly. She thought it was a NORMAL thing to obsessively compile every single shred of interaction between 2 people and then mail it to the person. What in the fuck? I calmly and seriously told her that this is the thing that crazy stalkers do, and that she needed to change her campus address box, block his phone number, and block him from facebook. I'm not sure if she did or not, but I'm not her mommy and she can deal with it herself at this point.
I don't know if this is what you're talking about, but the dating site OKCupid has put out some really interesting data on the topic that was picked up by the NYT and others.
Was with a Thai chick for 8 1/2 years. I wasn't allowed to meet her parents until about 3 years into it. They thought I took her virginity(if they only knew the truth). Asian women suffer from AMS, Asian Mom Syndrome. They're never pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough etc. Makes the girls fucking luntatics. Certifiable. Bathshit insane. I will never date another Asian woman as long as I live. Fuck them, yes, date them, not a chance on your life. I've dated Mexican women, black women, white women, and just about everything in between. For whatever reason, alot of Mexican and black guys don't like seeing "their" women with a white guy. Their problem, not mine.
"Sexist," in that parents, in general, have different dispositions toward sons vs. daughters, yes. Misogynistic? no. Getting knocked up by a male means sacrificing nine months out of a limited number of child-bearing years. It's instinctual for parents try and ensure only top-notch males have access to their daughter's sexuality in maximizing the fitness of their own genetic lineage. Especially fathers, who know from more personal experience what every boy is thinking taking his precious daughter out to the movies or to get drunk at a party. In the eyes of the PC zeitgeist, the discussion or assumption of racial differences is more taboo than that of male/female differences--hence, the observed indignation.
I think I fixed that for you. Unless you take it in context, then I'm not sure I understand at all. Seriously, do we have souls now? There aren't even any dogs involved. That's so fucking weird. Focus: Friend of mine had a good one of these. He was going to a "meet the parents" dinner at a high school girlfriend's. He knows her dad is a cop, jokes about it before going, isn't actually worried (we come from a medium-rich, very secular, sane-people kind of place). Anyway, turns out the girl's dad times it so they'd be sitting down for dinner almost immediately after he comes off shift. The dad comes to the table in full uniform, calmly puts his gun on a side-table behind him and everyone has what I assume was an extremely polite meal. While the dad stares at my friend the whole time no matter who he's speaking to. I guess I can see the fun in making a 14 year old shit himself. I met an ex-girlfriend's father while he was watching TV. He was perfectly friendly, except that as we were talking he picked up a previously invisible and massive hunting knife from the couch cushions and idly put it down on the coffee table. Alt focus: I'm trying to get an Asian girl right now. It's exactly like dating a white girl except her cell goes nuts at 9:00 sharp and she disappears. I think I might just give up, I hate dealing with crazy.
Does hooking up with two different insanely westernized Indian girls count? The first girl was just a friend from high school, her family was very traditional in Indian culture but they had been from Britain. She was willing to give me my first BJ after telling coworkers she'd be down for it after I had smoked a joint with her after work the night before. The only occasion where I met her parents was the first attempt my friends made to hook us up, as she had not told me directly she was down. Me and a friend, a fellow coworker, went to her house one night. My other friends had been with us beforehand and snuck into her house and were laying on the floor trying to listen into what was going on under the door to her room. Her mom came up behind them and opened the door over their heads and asked what the fuck was going on. We werent naked or anything and the girl played it off as she had just as nutty friends as I did. Her mom seemed pretty cool about it. I did not get a Beej that night and the actual night was an even bigger fiasco. But we never dated or hooked up again. She went to Ohio State and dated two different defensive lineman from their team. She's dating a black guy now. Her parents don't seem to give a fuck and she jokes about the casual racism like everyone else. Last year I had a FB who was Indian. She had been adopted by two white Americans so it doesnt fit your question?
So, I have mostly only dated white guys. I find lots of "other" men insanely hot, so I guess this can be summed up by one reason. They never asked me out. I am about as girl next door as you can get (if you live in a middle class suburb), so maybe I wasn't attractive to them. Damn shame. I did "date" a middle eastern guy in that we were pretty good friends, somehow it turned into a little more flirty, we started hanging out more one on one, etc. I guess it pretty much was more of a friends with benefits thing even though we went out on dates (but I never thought we were "dating"). It was pretty well understood that he had some attraction to the typical white girl like me and had no problems "hanging out". However, when it comes time to get serious, it will be with somebody from his own race/culture (fuck, now I know how Audrey's black boy toys felt). Guess it is a good thing because the conversation with my racist dad if he ever had to meet such a person would not be something I would wish on anybody. When I casually mentioned my friend Mohammed, I got a very stern silence followed with a disapproving "you better watch out for that type". I almost wish I could have brought somebody other than my typical white boy preppy type home just to see him try to choke back him racism.
You know what's awesome? Going to meet the parents for Thanksgiving, with the understanding that there would be separate rooms, only for that decision to be changed after the meeting. You know what's a bit less awesome? Your girlfriend being all "but my mom's in the next room!". She could be such a stick in the mud sometimes, I swear. Boring blah blah blah: Spoiler Currently, I've only dated white girls, probably due to a) not dating much before college, b) going to a primarily white institution, c) traveling in mostly white countries, d) not being so good at the whole dating thing. Odds are there'll be more variety in the future, but I'm kinda indifferent. Chill folks are chill folks, melanin/pigmentation isn't that important a factor in determining what I find attractive, and odds are I'll lean towards those who share my culture/outlook on things. This'll probably mean people raised in the coastal states of the USA, to generalize.
Focus: The best story that fits the focus was only a close call. Last year I was back home from break and spending the week sleeping with my friend/FB/ex-girlfriend. I had bought us a bottle of rum to share for the week, and I was over at her place while her dad was out on a date with his new girlfriend. She is giving me head and, on impulse, I ended up drinking the full 750ml bottle of rum while she's going to town on me. She notices and isn't happy at my selfishness but we overlook it and I start fucking her. Given how quickly I drank that bottle, I am getting drunk fast as the minutes progress. After about 20 minutes of fucking, we hear her dad pulling into the driveway. Now, I was nowhere close to finishing, but my rum-addled brain rationalized, "If I don't cum right now, I'm not going to have an opportunity to finish once her dad gets home." In a moment of pubococcygeus mastery that would impress porn-stars, I was able to bring myself to climax in about 5 seconds after processing this thought. I pull out, grab her by the shoulders, and plaster her face with a solid 5-6 ropes. I also black out literally in the middle of cumming on her. I can only imagine how irritating that must have been for her. From her perspective: She hears her dad come home and senses me stopping, thinking we'll get dressed and wait for her dad to go to bed before getting back to it. Instead I cum all over her face without warning, pass out, and leave her with maybe 20 seconds to scramble to the bathroom and get cleaned up before her dad gets home. I probably passed out from the endorphin rush of alcohol + cumming, because I woke up a few seconds later as she was getting back into her room. By this point I am too drunk to stand and my attempts at whispering are audible shouts. I am getting more belligerent as she tries to juggle keeping me under control while keeping her dad from arousing suspicion. I am yelling something about how her dad's girlfriend "looks so short! Is she Mexican?!" She gets her dad into the living room just as I stumble into the bathroom and start retching and throwing up. I got back to her room, acted more belligerent, and then passed out. The next morning I was so embarrassed that I walked right by her dad and left, barely acknowledging him. I later found out that he somehow did not catch on to anything that happened the night before—instead he was really offended that I left so abruptly without saying hello. Alt-focus: I've slept with a few black girls and dated a few latina girls. I went on one date with an Asian girl but that's the extent of experiences I have with Asians. There was a clear cultural divide in a few cases but there was only one case where I had trouble being myself as a result. I also go to a school with 10K students, maybe 300 of which are black; and white and black students don't mix socially very much. I had a black roommate (let's call him Curtis to fit in with the racist undertones of this thread) sophomore year of college and it was actually strange that this gave me access for getting to know some of the black students at my school. It was also pretty amusing when I was fucking a black chick and he came home, and the two of them turned out to know each other by virtue of being part of the small black population on campus. Similarly, there is a strict racial divide in Washington, DC, and it was strange to see how black people treated me differently when I was in the city with my roommate versus when I wasn't. I'm not sure how much I learned about race relations by living with him, but I was certainly more cognizant of the racial divide in DC than I was before.
I dodged a bullet in this regard. A few years ago I asked out an Indian girl who was a friend of a friend and got rejected. A few months ago said, friend reported on said Indian girl. After being de-virginized by a boyfriend, and broken up with, she apparently blamed him and the sex they had for all that was wrong with her emotionally and tried to run him over with a car.
I've only met the parents of a girl I was sticking once. I went with her to Boston to visit her parents for a weekend, and leading up to it there was an issue over whether we'd be staying in the same room or not, and once it was decided that we would, there was some debate between me and the girlfriend over whether we were going to have sex in her parents' house. On the one hand, it'd be really creepy if they heard. On the other hand, we were going to be in the same bed, so come on... And then we get to Boston and the question becomes completely moot. She got really sick. So, no awkwardness over the sex thing, just tension over who's going to be taking care of her.
Some highlights of hanging out with the girlfriend's parents in Taiwan: I put my hands in my pockets as a reflex of feeling incredibly awkward. This backfired, and her mom came from behind me slapped my hands and yelled "UP!". I was told to wear pajamas in a condescending tone because "it's what people wear around people they respect." Going to a casual dinner, I passed by her father on the way out. He says "pow, did you... bring a tie for dinner?" "No, I didn't think I needed a tie." He doesn't respond, just looks down and shakes his head. I was told that I needed to carry a bag everywhere. "You never know when you will need a bag." You should take the pictures - the man is in charge of pictures. Please, like a white guy is going to be in charge of pictures dating an asian. Do not put things in your pockets - it makes you look like a gangster. Her mom would grab me by the arm, and quickly walk me over to a picture of someone on a plaque. "You should want to be like this man. This man is respected by many. You do not need to be this man. You should always aspire to be this man. The work is important to have this respect, and you should know this is very good to be like this man." Alt-focus: I dated an Indian for a short time. The first time I got her shirt off, I went down for the first nipple-kiss, and I gave it a little suck. That little suck came with about 3 hairs that came out about an inch. It's apparently a sign she has testosterone and has a healthy sex drive. I didn't stick around to confirm.
Yeah, the almost getting caught by dad isn't the memorable part of that story...opening and killing a fifth of rum in the span of a blowjob is. Jesus, was she blowing you for three hours, or did you literally just drink rum straight from the bottle as fast as you possibly could? Do you hate getting your dick sucked, so you needed to get loaded to enjoy it? I feel like I'm missing something.
After a few too many beers and a few too few fish in the basket, my father-in-law decided to make a joke about butt sex. Attempting to avoid an awkward silence, I shot back "sorry, I'm not a fan of sticking my dick where people poop." Instead of laughing it off like I thought he would, he became confused, ".... well why the fuck not?? It feels great! You should try it!" "You are aware I'm married to your daughter, and the only person I would try it with, would be her. Yeah, not gonna happen. I don't find her butthole attractive." He then proceeded to basically lecture me on the perks of anal, getting quite angry and almost persuasive. Unfortunately for him, my wife's young cousins were also at the dock, listening quite enthusiastically; they decided the best thing to do that evening was to ask my mother-in-law to verify some of the details. She turned three shades of red, and from the language that came out of her mouth (and my wife's), it sounded like my father-in-law wasn't going to be getting any, in any hole, for a long time after that.