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MTV's Jersey Shore (was "Jersey without my hair gel")

Discussion in 'TV Shows' started by Happy, Nov 29, 2009.

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  1. VanillaGorilla

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    I plan on watching the shit out of this show. I'm a sucker for MTV's reality programming and this is right up my alley. Further, I'm glad that MTV is taking it upon themselves to point out that southerners, though sometimes ignorant and disconnected with reality, are not the worst people in America. These morons are. Now, any time someone says something univerally stupid about the South, I can say something universally stupid about guidos and use this program as irrefutable evidence that I'm correct. Thanks, MTV. 'Preciate it.
     
    #21 VanillaGorilla, Dec 1, 2009
  2. Woody

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    Its not all bad...
     
    #22 Woody, Dec 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  3. Crazy Wolf

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    So, with all of the Axe/Lynx and hair gel that must splatter on the beach from errant sprays, couldn't someone just toss a Zippo on the sand 50 miles up the shore and just wait for the guidos to become candles?
     
    #23 Crazy Wolf, Dec 1, 2009
  4. SaintBastard

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    These are the same guys who will stand alone half naked in their room on a Friday night, do twenty push-ups, awkwardly angle their camera at the mirror so the flash can glare off their tri's while doing their best Aaron Carter thug face, and top it off by yelling "Who wants some?" to all the Eminem posters in their room while they snap the shot.
     
    #24 SaintBastard, Dec 1, 2009
  5. MoreCowbell

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    This show will be the equivalent of an entire album by the Chocolate Rain guy.
     
    #25 MoreCowbell, Dec 1, 2009
  6. Sherwood

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    As a lifelong NJ resident, I CAN NOT WAIT for this show. A lot of you people remember me from the board that shall not be named, many of you may even remember the entire thread making fun of NJ where I heroically defended my home state even though I basically stood alone on an island. You may be saying "but Sherwood, you hated the image of the Jersey Guido, how can you defend this!"

    Because as someone said, these people ARE NOT FROM NJ. I think there's one guy from NJ. One guy! The rest are from NY. See, there is something you need to know.

    This image of my fellow Jerseyans that gets projected... it's the weakest of the weak, those who can't form their own identities so they glom on to whatever they think will get them laid. So there are people from NJ who act like this sure, but it's only because they adopted the style from NY Guido's. There are pocket's of these tools all throughout the North Jersey towns that provide quickest access to Manhattan, and they're basically laughed at.

    I have a pretty good perspective on this because my girlfriend is currently living in one of the best bar towns in the area, Hoboken, NJ. A one square mile city that boasts itself as the home of Frank Sinatra, and a place with 20+ bars in that 1 square mile. Hoboken has two identities. During the day, it's a great city full of young families and young professionals who work in NYC, the girls are blond and pretty, everyone has a puppy, everyone runs and goes to the gym, the restaurants are AMAZING and life is picture perfect. At night... the Guido's come in from the suburbs. You can see these tools coming a mile away. Everyone knows they suck, but they spend Mommy and Daddy's money so they have to be welcomed. They mostly keep to their own bars though, so one rarely has to deal with them other than to laugh at them on the streets, or hanging out in front of the pizza joints. (I'm looking at you, Imposto's)

    See, these people are a small subset of life normally. Unless you go to the Jersey Shore. They are fucking EVERYWHERE. They come in packs, they protect their mustangs by taking up 2 spaces, they fist pump in the bars, they flex on the beaches, their girls look like hell frozen over up close, and they just. plain. suck.

    That's why I want to see this show so much. It's also why I don't go to the beach much. Everyone has to watch this show, it's going to be fantastic.
     
    #26 Sherwood, Dec 1, 2009
  7. atm1892

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel


    As someone who also lives on the Jersey shore, I have to agree with this. I'm in central Jersey near Belmar, which turns into Guido central during the summer. Again, and I don't think it can be stressed enough, most of these people are coming down from Staten Island. In fact, I know a very small number of guidos here in New Jersey. Yea, they exist, but they are not nearly as prevalent as you are led to believe.

    It also needs to be said that no one actually likes these douchebags. We make fun of them just as much as everyone else.

    Also, I know of a girl who was asked to be on this show. She is a joke of a human being.
     
    #27 atm1892, Dec 1, 2009
  8. Happy

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    I guess one of the cast members "Snooki" is a Myspace celebrity (a la Tila Tequila)? I know I saw her "bio" commercial sometime during a re-run of Nitro Circus...




    Next up for MTV, sending this cast to boot camp. Lets see just how "Rambo" these guys are.
     
    #28 Happy, Dec 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. dixiebandit69

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    Don't forget Kevin Smith.
     
    #29 dixiebandit69, Dec 1, 2009
  10. Crown Royal

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    "Rambo is a pussy"
    -Sylvester Stallone, Tango & Cash
     
    #30 Crown Royal, Dec 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  11. nickygonzo

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel



    If you can't make it through the whole video, which would not surprise me at all because it's fucking brutal, just fast forward till about 2:30 and watch the fun really begin. And yes, at one point she is holding up a sausage for seemingly no reason.

    This show is going to be so awesome.
     
    #31 nickygonzo, Dec 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  12. SaintBastard

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    Really? I mean, I think they are pretty hot too. Then again, I've always wanted to fuck a life sized Bratz doll. I bet they manufacture them in a factory somewhere in Idaho.
     
    #32 SaintBastard, Dec 1, 2009
  13. zyron

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    Ummm, who would want to ummm watch videos ummm where this useless sack of ummmm shit ummm displays her ummm stupidity ummm.

    To those who want a quick summary without having your ears bleed: She has no job, no money, isn't going to school and apparently didn't even graduate high school(she hints at this but it is obvious). She says she sits around all day doing nothing then goes clubbing which I am sure involves a lot of cockteasing for free drinks since she is broke. I say kill the bitch and improve the world.
     
    #33 zyron, Dec 1, 2009
  14. goodfornothing

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    A good executive summary.

    It goes to show how shallow these people really are. They sit around all day and do . . . nothing?! What the fuck? At first I thought she said "SlutTV" when referring to her stupid YouTube channel which will be featuring all her, "crazy um nights." I almost gave her points for self-awareness, but then noticed it is "SnookTV", what is a snook? Nevermind, Wikipedia tells me it is some bullshit fish.

    I always thought the term "guido" was a derogatory one? I know I'd hate to be called one.
     
    #34 goodfornothing, Dec 1, 2009
  15. Woody

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    I would only fuck her under one condition. I stuff a sock in her mouth and tape it shut.
     
    #35 Woody, Dec 1, 2009
  16. Primer

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    #36 Primer, Dec 1, 2009
  17. Currer Bell

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    The cavity in that one dude's stomach would be a great container for party dip. He likes to show it off so much, might as well be useful.
     
    #37 Currer Bell, Dec 1, 2009
  18. Crown Royal

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    This is one of the best reamings ever of Guidos ("Ginos" in Canada). Just listen to this song by The Doo-Wops (they're Italian, get it?). I've posted it in the past and it got quite the happy response. Give this video time, the song's a scream:


    While we're at it, this one's probably even better (starts at 2:50):
     
    #38 Crown Royal, Dec 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  19. slammy

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    I wish that when MTV does this type of shit they would drop in a normal, well adjusted, educated, funny person into every show as a "control" group. Someone who just spends the show mocking everything about these people. That would be excellent.
     
    #39 slammy, Dec 1, 2009
  20. breakylegg

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    Re: I can't go to Jersey without my hair gel

    Earlier this year on TV I saw a repeat of Real World NYC where viewer comments were posted on the screen in something close to real time. Wasn't as good as it couldv'e been, of course, but it was a lot better, ie, tollerable, than the normal show.
     
    #40 breakylegg, Dec 1, 2009
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