Both Mr. Pink and I were born and raised in NJ. Both of us lived there for almost 30 years. In 2007, I decided I was done with NJ. Finished. I told him we were moving to Seattle. There were a host of reasons why I believed this was a good idea - I had family there and two of my best friends. Plus, I figured it would be slightly cheaper to live there than in NJ. Fast forward three years - I learned a very harsh lesson about life on the west coast. Passive aggressive assholes, still expensive, eight months of drizzly, gray weather leading to a severe case of seasonal affective disorder along with a host of Vitamin D deficiency issues. I had made some wonderful friends and I had a fantastic job that I enjoyed highly but that was the extent of my happiness. My husband was miserable and wanted a change. He applied to Georgia State for their masters in sports administration program and was accepted. On October 12, I became a resident of Atlanta, Georgia. Mr. Pink had to stay behind in Seattle until January when our house sale will be finalized. I have a friend here that I'm staying with until my new lease starts November 5. I have my sister in law here. That's about it. I'm far away from my family, my NJ friends, my WA friends and my husband is 2,100 miles away. I'm essentially alone. I started a new job two weeks ago in probation, which I like very much, even tho I think the crimes are a bit too soft for me (mostly drug crimes when I dealt exclusively with sexual predators). Most of the people I grew up with will never leave the state of NJ. I've already zigzagged across the country twice in three years. I don't like the actual saying goodbye but I do like new places, making new friends and starting what I call a new chapter in my life. Why not do it now - we're young, we're childless, we're in the prime of our lives. No reason not to experience new places and new people. It's only been a few weeks but I am enjoying life in the south, despite the plethora of churches and weird ass laws*. * - one weird law I learned - it's illegal in Georgia to keep medication outside of it's designated bottle. Like, if I put one of my anti-nausea pills in the prescription bottle of Naproxen I carry in my purse, I could be arrested. I could also be arrested for carrying my Omega 3 supplements in an old prescription bottle. Those little M-F pill reminders old people use are technically illegal here. I learned this because some poor 21 year old kid is now on 5 years probation for doing this.
I've moved often in my life. And it's never occurred to me until now that most times, I was moving to some city alone. I'm from a small town in southern Ontario; most of my family still lives there. We've been there for so many generations that my surname is listed on at least one road and school in most of the surrounding municipalities. My grandfather, though, was a nomad who insisted on moving all around Ontario when his family was young, then back and forth between Ontario and Calgary for the rest of his life. A summation of my life's major moves: - moved from Ontario to Calgary at the age of 13 - moved from Calgary to Indonesia at the age of 16 (with my parents, but it was to a remote part of Sulawesi where we didn't know a soul and the only English-speaking people were the other employees of my dad's company) - moved away from my parents at age 16 to attend school in Perth, Australia - moved back to Calgary at age 18 to finish high school (parents were still in Indonesia) - quit all my jobs and moved to Uganda when I was 28 to teach children. Subsequently travelled the world. - moved back to Ontario at the age of 28/29 to renovate my dad's house (he had to go work overseas) - moved to Winnipeg at the age of 29, a city I had never been to, didn't know a soul, had no house/apartment lined up and only a job as a reason to go. I've travelled so much I simply can't imagine not doing it. I believe it is the best thing one can do; it forces you to be social, to learn new skills and to come out of your shell. I can remember being a well-travelled kid, and I see my twin cousins (who have had somewhat similar life experiences), and they are so different from other kids of their age. They've published a fictional novel, travelled the world, have finished a second book and are on their way to graduating from one of Canada's most prestigious universities. Is this because of the travel? Not entirely, but I bring it up to point out how useful and universal the skills you learn while travelling are. Seriously..I can't think of any reason NOT to move. And I believe it's better for you to NOT be moving with a friend, or a significant other, or whatever. It will force you to act and meet people and start a new life quicker this way.
I wanted to live in Colorado as a ski instructor in some group house by a mountain and live the life until the day I died. Nothing you could do or say would deter me, and an hour after receiving my last grade of college in late June 2008 I was on the road to Aspen. I didn't know anyone in that town, no one was going with me, someone promised me a job over the phone and I hadn't secured a place to live. It lasted 10 months. Here's what I can say about it: 1). Be patient. I learned to just have that faith that everything almost always turns out OK. I grew distressed way too quickly over things that weren't in my mind developing as fast as I thought they should. I would make friends and then lose track of them. I would date girls and they'd flake on me. I would find housing and there'd be a roommate or something about the location or the rate that would propel me to leave, and I moved five different times. Five. I could not settle down, I couldn't stay satisfied, all because I had some predisposed idea towards how fast things should be moving, and it did nothing but hurt me. 2). Stay focused. I actually struggled to make - and keep - friends out there. I was skiing every day in the meantime, which I loved, but I moved out there to be an instructor, and realized it was a hell of a lot harder than those stupid ski movies make it out to be. It takes a lot of shit to get on the full-time roster, and I got overwhelmed at the idea of it all and quickly lost focus. Now I'm working behind the front desk of a hotel for $13/hour and a free ski pass... which had its perks, but was not what I moved out there for. Instead of rising to the challenge I balked and backed down, mostly because I lost focus on what I wanted, and what it was going to take. 3). Stay positive. You won't have this problem in Los Angeles, but there is an enormous shortage of women in Aspen. Sometimes I'd hand count 50 guys in a bar and three girls. If you're wondering why the hell I'm hand counting people in a bar, it's because yes, it would be that boring when you're at a bar with 50 guys and three girls. This might have discouraged me more than anything else, but that's because at 22 my whole lifestyle was revolving around getting drunk and hitting on hundreds of women and then maybe going home with one. Instead of changing my behavior to fit the environment (of which there were hundreds of ways to do if I'd have just gotten creative), I let it discourage me and got bored. Every situation is different, but you'll find things of your own that discourage you out there. Stay positive, and you'll be fine. Overall, it sounds like you've really thought about it and are determined to make this work, and that's half the battle. In light if that, I will leave you with this quote from The Alchemist, which I highly recommend, that you may find yourself referring to after you've started your life out there: So God speed to you, man. Let us know how it works. If you want more advice or info PM me and I'd be happy to talk some more.
Absolutely. In the east they're just...aggressive. I have more or less lived in the Portland area my whole life, save a brief sojourn to Canada which was just terrible. It's like living in America, only more difficult because I'm not a Canadian citizen. Other than that, I plan next September to move my whole life to South Korea for a teaching job. I'm not really worried. I love new places and new cultures, and I've never had a problem being away from my family. There is really nothing about Portland that makes me want to stay, so off I go!
Would you say that "passive aggressive assholes" are more prevalent on the west coast? I am gonna say no. (In the last 9 months, I moved from Seattle, to Cincinnati, and then back to LA) native Seattle men are pussies, and people in WA are the worst drivers in the nation(I am looking at you for #2 Oregon). Living in LA depends on what part you live in. You have suburban hell(the Valley), urban living and everything in between. Welcome to LA, I hope you don't mind Hispanic culture, because this IS a Mexican city.
My knowledge of hispanic culture is limited... it's all burrito's and manual labor right? What am I missing?
Nope. I've lived in the South and East Coast as well. I just prefer the West Coast. Hated Ohio. Spent most of the last 10 years bouncing between LA and Seattle/Tacoma.