You have no idea how terrifying it is to be pulling weeds and finding one of these on your hand. Thank the fuck Christ for wearing gloves. That's all I have to say to that. Spoiler
Kiss your peckers good bye. Mother nature wasn't just being mean when she made this hell spawn. She straight up cock-slapped man in the face. To sum up, this thing lives in the Amazon river and swims up your wiener, shoots barbs into your dick to permanently latch its self there and then proceeds to eat said dick into oblivion. The only way to remove it if it isn't treated immediately? Cutting your member off. End Thread. QED.
It doesn't look like much, but the Bullet Ant is an inch-long hissing ant that leaps out of trees and has the most ass-whipping sting in the enitre insect kingdom. This picnic para-military lives in the Amazon and will FUCK YOU UP.
Spoiler Like he said, the house centepede. Whenever i see one running across my floor, I turn into an instant woman and jump up on a chair and scream. After I calm down, then i find something and beat the shit out of it. Then I look at it and shiver. I hate these damn things so much.
I suppose I should try to address the focus. I just want to know why they are called earwigs. Someone was cruel.
The story about the parasite that swims into a fish's mouth, eats the tongue, then decides to hang out as a food stealing tongue substitute will haunt me forever. If ever they find a terrestrial parasite that pulls the same trick, I would probably lose it. Spoiler (Apologies if I've missed this one in the thread and it's already been posted.)
I grew up in El Paso, Texas and we had the most satisfying bug ever. It was called a Vinegaroon. They looked like one of those nasty black scorpions you see on the discovery channel but had a long tail that looked like a needle. The only difference was they couldn't do anything besides squirt a nasty, vinegar smelling, liquid out of the needle-tail. Therefore, we all took our hatred of the rattlesnakes, scorpions, and tarantulas, and all the other fun stuff the desert had to offer out on these things. As a 7 year old, you'd dance around them while they tried to squirt you until they were empty, then had the pleasure of stomping on them. Vicious and hateful, sure, but it felt good as a kid considering all the other nasty things we had to deal with in the desert.
The giant centipede: That thing isn't even full grown yet. I've heard horror stories of guys in Viet Nam who fell asleep without blousing their pants in their boots and waking up to one of these big fuckers crawling up their leg. Yikes.
One of Earth's most heinous displays of nature NSFW I heard it can consume an entire meatloaf in less than a minute.
In Hawaii there are no indigenous snakes. Howfuckingever, Spoiler Spoiler These little evil motherfuckers sting or bite. They're poisonous and fast. If you cut them in half, the pieces run away. Both pieces. Trying to kill one of these little fuckers is a lesson in futility. First, you have to catch one. Good fucking luck. Then you can either burn it, drown it or stomp the everloving shit out of it. Better do a good job of it the first time, because the last thing you want is this thing mad at you. If these things were the size of dogs I wouldn't leave the house without a flamethrower.