I like animals. In fact, I love them. Most people only have sympathy for the cute, the cuddly, the friendly. Not me--I like them all. Mangy, ugly, mean...it doesn't matter. I can almost always find something to love about an animal. That being said, there are some things Mother Nature has created that make me want to throw up and and sob for hours in the fetal position. Namely, THIS: (I'm being so fucking serious right now...if you like to sleep at night then do not click this) Spoiler AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! Yes, it is a coconut crab. No, I cannot love this thing, even though it is edible and some might say it tastes delicious. I want them all to DIE DIE DIE! Focus: Mother Nature has a sick sense of humor sometimes. Discuss.
Star Nosed Mole: Spoiler Tarsier: Spoiler That thing literally gave me nightmares when I saw a picture of one in some nature magazine I used to get in elementary school. The real winners though, live at the bottom of the ocean. Anglerfish: Spoiler
How about the Deep Sea Hatchetfish: Spoiler Or the Mata Mata Mutant Turtle: Spoiler Or the Big Red Jellyfish: Spoiler Cracked.com made a list of 13 animals straight out of nightmares and those are just 3 of them.
Spoiler Would probably shit my pants if one of these things ever swam by me. Can get to be 43 feet!!! That's as tall as my mother fucking house! Eat a dick, creator. You did this simply to fuck with us. Release the kraken! Spoiler Any deep sea fish for that matter. Shit it's a freak show down there. It's like the Bulgarian Circus meets Ripley's Believe it or Not meets my 9th grade chess team. Spoiler Two words... camel spiders. Fuck that shit. Spoiler Female body builders. A species unto themselves.
The ocean wins trigger Spoiler This is the only thing in the ocean I am really afraid of. Spoiler These guys hunt in packs of about 500-1000 and are cannibals.
The Blobfish: Spoiler And pretty much anything from this species scares the fuck out of me, for the exact reason depicted in the below photo: Spoiler
Halibut: as tasty as it is hideous. I'm sure there's so a SCUBA diver in the world that wouldn't shit his wetsuit coming across a MOray: I'm tagging the next of NSFW because of how scary it is: NSFW This is the Japanese Giant Hornet. It spits carrosive acid and it can kill a hive of 10,000 honey bees single-handedly. KIller bees? Get the fuck out of my office.
From the stories I've heard from family working in Africa, you don't want to be anywhere near a Black Mamba. Apparently you can't outrun it if you piss it off so you are pretty much shit out of luck.
I'm pretty sure that the day that God created this awful monstrosity was the day that he finally decided that he hates us: Spoiler Zing!
You guys are doing it all wrong! You don't have to travel to the ends of the earth or the bottom of the sea to find the stuff that nightmares are made of, they are in your own home! Spoiler I lived with those ass-fucks for years. Have you ever put on a pair of pants, a shoe or shirt with a cockroach in it? I have, and I can honestly say I would rather get stung by a scorpion (again) than do that. I remember one time I was driving down the road, and somehow a roach got into my truck. I almost drove off the road in the ensuing panic.
Fuck that. If I saw this in my house I'd probably just burn the house down as I ran away screaming like a 6 year old girl. Spoiler
Along the same lines, the house centipede. Wikipedia says they grow to be 2 inches long. I don't know if it's the legs or what, but they look way bigger than that when you notice them scurrying across your floor. Spoiler