Simple premise here. We have all at some point run into the kitchen, opened the milk bottle, and taken a swig before realizing it had turned into lumpy cheese. Every one of us. But how often do we eat something totally disgusting regularly? Every day, I have a protein shake consisting of hemp protein, concentrated pomegranate juice, spirutein, psyllium seed husks, and creatine and I swear its the most disgusting thing in the world. So, what do you eat that's revolting?
A couple of years ago I went off on this big kick about fucking with your body's pH balance in order to achieve some sort of maximum health level. As part of this I started mixing Barley Green Powder with water and slamming it back twice a day. It was easily the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. Each and every glass was like letting the Incredible Hulk shit in my mouth. http://img.21food.com/userImages/linhongmei216/linhongmei216$325101550.jpg
This is about something I've ingested once. Back in highschool, I worked in a small town grocery store with a couple other young and idiotic males. One particularly slow night we started daring each other to eat some of the more odd selections we came across in the store's inventory. I drank a 210ml bottle of liquid smoke for somewhere in the neighbourhood of $43 ( which was a fair chunk of change 15 years ago to a 16 year old me). At first it was somewhat tolerable, but somewhere south of 5 minutes later my stomach started churning. 15 minutes------vomitting what was still one of the most foul things to ever exit my body. 17 minutes------loud rumblings from the upper area of my abdomen. 21 minutes-------the rumblings are continuing to increase in intensity and it is time to head to the men's room. I spent the remaining 3 hours of my shift guzzling water, chewing gum, and running back to the washroom to empty myself of the foul tonic that was liquid smoke. Hey I made $43 though, right? :roll:
Toss up between the AirCanada pasta salad that gave me food poisoning (I can't stand the smell of that microwave michelinas type pasta anymore, makes me wanna yarf), and fried calf's brains. The brains are probably the more conventionally disgusting thing, but at least they only made me puke once instead of about 15 times. It's like eating meaty jello.
In high school my buddies and I went on a kick of paying each other to eat disgusting things. $3 for me to eat a paintball? Check. $5 for my buddy to slam back an entire bottle of soy sauce? You bet. $10 to attempt eating a tablespoon of cinnamon? Gets 'em every time. $free dollars for another buddy to lick anti-freeze? You bet. And that was just plain stupid. No wonder why we weren't getting laid.
In high school we used to go out to McDonald's for lunch on Fridays just because thats when one of us would get a car to bring to school. So the one day I didn't have any cash, but taggd along anyways. My friend said he would pay for my meal if I drank whatever they could fit into a medium sized cup. I said sure whatever, and went about my merry way. At the end of the meal I go take a piss and come back to see everyone laughing and throwing shit into this cup. It consisted of: -half a chocolate shake -sweet and sour sauce -ketchup -pepper -three pickles -barbecue sauce -tartar sauce scraped from a filet of fish so they stirred everything up and I just slammed it back, and it didnt taste that bad. With everything they put in there, I thought it would be disgusting, but it was just really chocolaty. So I finished it off and slammed it on the table, declaring myself infinitely superior to all my friends. Or so I thought. My best friend at the time just gave a little cough and from behind his back produced the biggest bottle of exlax I have ever seen in my life. And it was 3/4's empty. And it resided now in my stomach, with the contents of everything else I had imbibed. Well needless to stay my stomach gave that little rumble of doom that everyone experiences when they know they are about to full on shit themselves. The worst part was I had to hold it in for four fucking hours as I had a co-op placement at an athletic therapy clinic and the bathroom also served as the clients changing room. So I did what any self respecting kid at 16 would do. I sat at the reception area and let out intermittent farts trying to keep myself from shitting my pants. When I got home, I shit so hard I didn't go to school for two days. It's like me holding it in was a big fuck you to the exlax gods, so they made me pay in a way that I will never forget.
I was in Koreatown, LA with my fresh off the boat buddy Bob who selected that name because his Korean name was unpronouncable. In Koreatown after the bars close, a couple restaraunts reopen so the bar/club/etc employees can get some food and hang out. Bob ordered an appetizer, these small fried rubbery things kinda like calamari that came with their own sauce. So I ask "Bob, what is this?" and he just laughs and says "you really want to know?" I was scared to find out but I said yes. "Direct transration is 'chicken shit house.'" Yes, he fucked up his r's and l's, badly. "What the fuck? You mean this is shit.?" "No, no, no. It's asshore. Chicken asshore." I didn't eat any mre.
For the most part I have a strong stomach, but one thing that did hurt me was 2 day old dead squid I had been using for bait, that marinated in a plastic bag in the sun. For 100 pesos I ate it with a shot of tequila, I was not right for a week. For daily consumption I have an affinity for the fat in the belly of tuna fish, it is tbe best part of the fish.
I've eaten some off the wall things, Goat Face and crickets to be some of the stranger itmes. Nothing to me though, is worse than the taste of stale meat. I had some turkey cold cuts in the fridge for a few weeks this summer, that somehow didn't get thrown out. I bought another bag and tossed it in my meat and cheese bin in the fridge. Lo and behold one evening, playing land mines with some friends I went for a little drunken snack and scarffed a hunk of disguisting stale turkey. The smell hit me first even after it hit my tongue, then the whole mess went into the trashcan, followed by the rest of the contents of my stomach. My friends gave me crap for puking after so few beers, not realizing the meat was stale. Upon inspection, we found grey mold on the undersides of the remaining few pieces...awesome.
Back in high school me and some buddies would fuck around with the video camera and do jackass type shit. Well one day, after a party at my buddy's place, we convince the class idiot to drink this concoction: A half a can of bud light that's been sitting on the patio for 12 hours. With a few cigarette butts in it. One raw egg. Chocolate syrup. Ketchup. A lugie (spelling? Snotty spit) from 3 people. We put it all in a glass and didn't tell him what it was. He chugged it. He then puked it back into the glass. He then drank what he threw up. And threw it up again. And drank it again. It was funny because every time he would puke, it would be a little less than what he ingested. That fucker would do anything for attention.
Had a roommate once who started blending meat into liquids and slurping it. His dad ate that way because his jaw got wired shut for close to a year after a car accident. According to my friend, the dad claimed he never felt better. He tried to get me to try some, but I refused to even look at that shit.
I can't remember the exact mixture but it was a small coke from Sonic with every flavor in it. I have never drank shit but I have a feeling it would have tasted better than that vile mixture.
There are almost no foods I don't like, and I've eaten some pretty terrible homemade combinations on drunk nights, but absolutely nothing comes close to the cheeseburger served on American Airlines. I'd rather eat nothing but McDonald's for a week than eat another one of those pieces of cardboard. It literally looked like recycled paper pressed into patty form, and really didn't taste much different.
I will raise you that shake with my current post workout one: - 2x scoops micellular casein - 9 grams psyllium seed husks - glutamine - glycine - not nearly enough water It taste like cardboard mixed with chocolate. Terrible. The worst was this time I was drunk I thought it would be a good idea to mix ground turkey and chocolate protein.
My old roommate was from Vietnam, so we'd end up eating all sorts of sketchy food. But the most disgusting thing we had--by far--was balut. For those of you who haven't been introduced to southeast Asian food, allow me to enlighten you. To make balut, you get a fresh duck egg and incubate it for about 17-18 days. That gives the baby birdie time to mature. You'll know its ready when you can hold it up to a light, and it's very opaque. At that point, you boil the egg, crack it, and start peeling off the shell. You'll immediately notice that, well, it looks like a partially formed duck. The first time we made it, I pulled the top of the shell off, and its little head fell out (like the picture below). You'll probably want to pick any feathers off. It kinda tasted like a scrambled egg, except it was simultaneously gooey and crunchy. Some of the hard bird parts are definitely already formed.
I don't know if we have any British people here yet. Where's Tom when you need him (well, he's a actually a wop, but whatever). Dear assorted people of Britain, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MARMITE?! What makes it even more bizarre is that you people seem to think this shit is normal. It tastes like ass. Please advise. Sincerely, Cowbell.
I was tripping on mushrooms once and decided to eat pizza out of the trash. I'm ashamed to say that tripping my balls off is not the real reason I dug under a weeks worth of garbage; I remembered there being slices of pizza in the trash and figured if anyone caught me I could just blame it on drugs... but secretly I wanted to eat the pizza. Trash or not. Not really that bad...
So there are these two girls and they participated in some Brazilian scat porn involving a cup and bodily waste. I think there might be a video clip of it out there on the internet... FOCUS: Back in high school I was too lazy to cook for myself and would eat whatever was around. If I got drunk I would eat anything as long as it would fit in my mouth. One night, I came back buzzed and famished. After finding nothing in the fridge, I discover a pot of chicken out on a table outside. I distinctly remembered it had been sitting there for over a month and since it was in the summer, it got pretty hot and moist, so chances were the chicken was already being snacked on by multiple strands of bacteria. Drunken hunger trumped common sense and I dove in. If my taste buds were capable of sending signals to my brain, they probably would've sent "disgusting, cold, and is that fucking mold I taste?" It didn't matter since I spent the rest of the night puking my guts out. At least I sobered up pretty quickly after.
You sir, are a candy-assed queer. Calves brains are unbelievably good. Much better than pork brains. Yeah, I've eaten both. I've consumed about 6 pork brain sandwiches this year, too hard to find the calf brain sandwiches anymore, they have to come from a calf less than 6 weeks old by FDA regulations. Nastiest thing I've ever eaten was a Chips-Ahoy cookie dipped in mayonnaise and ketchup. No I wasn't dared or wagered, I just thought it was a good idea at the time (8-9 years old). I fucking hate mayonnaise.
Nine grams of psyllium seed husks? You might as well use a turkey baster to lube your colon. Nine grams is a lot,and if you don't watch yourself, you will make a mess of yourself the second you sneeze.