Today, I had one of those fleeting perfect moments. They require a number of coexisting conditions, and so they don't happen often, and they don't last for long. For me, a perfect moment isn't defined by what is going on, but what isn't. For me, a perfect moment can only happen when I don't have anything "hanging," either in my personal life or at work. This is so rare that it happens about twice a year. It turns out a lot of deadlines happened for me last week, and so I officially have nothing at work that I'm behind on right now. I also have been in touch with all requisite friends and family members recently, and so none of them are neglected. My bills are paid for the month, my house is relatively clean, and it was sunny, overcast, and just a little cold - about 65 degrees F, just like I like it. I feel good, my relationship is good, and nobody I know has cancer, is in trouble, or needs my help immediately. For about three hours today, I could do whatever I wanted, without feeling guilty that I wasn't doing something I should have been doing. About an hour into that three-hour period I actually realized I could use this opportunity to do some things that I had really been neglecting for a long time, so that shot the afternoon. But that one hour, man, that was perfect. FOCUS: What's a perfect moment for you? What conditions are necessary for a perfect moment? What conditions are sufficient? ANTI-FOCUS: What can (or does) ruin a perfect moment for you?
A good day of rock climbing. There is nothing—not sex, drinking, anything—that takes me away from the ills of the world like climbing. Along those lines, when a day of climbing is ruined, it is like watching art be destroyed. It's not exactly soul-crushing—it happens too often, given the unpredictability of weather, time constraints, etc—but it feels like an opportunity is slipping away from me that I can never get back. Time is too precious to stand complacent to a wasted day—and this is always painfully clear when a day of climbing is cut short. (If the day is canceled, it's no big deal. But if I get out to the cliffs, warm up, psych myself up for an awesome project, and then it gets cut short for whatever reason... ugh.)
Sex, natch. You know after you've been going for forty five minutes and her pussy's soaking wet and you're both covered in sweat and the salt makes licking her taste good? Yeah, that. But if a female isn't around, nice landscapes, copious beer and being on vacation could make do: Spoiler In true "perfect" format, this beer was poured to exactly the one litre mark. Damn those Germans are good.
Focus: Sitting around a table among great friends, sipping a nice scotch and having a good conversation.
I just wrote about it on my blog, but basically hitting the perfect opening chord that rings out forever at Madison Square Garden. Done just right, and to me that's perfection.
Having the sense of mind to subtly take an ice cold can of Coors-light out of the fridge and place it besides the bed before sex and then drinking it afterwards. Naked girl in one arm, Cold Beer in the other hand. Perfect.
Got to agree with frylock on this one. I realized recently that everything I do in life is in the pursuit of not having anything to do. It is pretty rare when it actually happens, but when it does those few hours, or if i'm really lucky, days, are sheer bliss.
Wetsuit on, sun just barely coming up, south facing beach in California, good surf, good company and then a late breakfast burrito. Fucking, perfect.
Provided I've got a full stomach and the weather is good... Spoiler Sitting on a rock in the absolute middle of nowhere (a lake deep in northern Minnesota) is the best. Nothing from the outside world can bother you*. No person, no event, no issue, no task- nothing. All you've got to worry about is paddling around, catching some fish, and drinking after you get a fire started. You have to sacrifice some comforts, but they are ultimately grossly outweighed by the benefits of being out there. *Occasional planes off in the distance don't count. Nor do satellites floating across the night sky.
Muscles screaming, hands about to explode from strain, hooked into the rig, and just barely being in control as you and your windsurfing board scream along at 20 knots and approaching 30 if you're lucky. And as perfect as this moment is, you know that at any moment it's all going to end in a crash as you catch a wave wrong, dig an edge in, or have the entire board hit the water. Knowing it'll likely end spectacularly makes the screaming reach all the more perfect. And then you spend 20 minutes to several hours trying to do it all again.
focus: Sun low in the east, water like glass, slalom skiing and making turns as smooth as butter with my dad or grandpa driving the boat. That is pure bliss. No woman, booze, or object can bring me that feeling.
I could probably wax poetic about moments I've had to myself with the sun just right, a good book, and water lapping about. Or times where I can sit back when my students are totally excited about learning something and I can watch them having a good time while doing something incredibly constructive. I try time and time again to catch myself in these moments and appreciate them for what they are. But when I really think about it, my favorite moments come from times with my friends. In fact, we were just talking about it last Sunday: how we all agree that in the Celestine Prophecy there is a theory that in every lifetime, certain souls seek one another out and ultimately find each other. We couldn't remember the exact number in the theory but as I looked around the table, I realized I had my ten. My moments of perfection are when my ten are all together, GM all around, fantastic music on the jukebox with each song bringing forth yet another awesome memory or story. When there are laughs and smiles, there's this energy that we collectively produce that makes the air around us simply electric. It's moments like that when I take myself out of the moment just to look around and notice what everyone is doing and take it all in. I relish in the times when I'm quietly observing everything and knowing that these people are amazing individuals with fantastic stories and would do anything for the people surrounding them who they call "friend." To me there is nothing better that good drink, excellent music, dancing, and simply enjoying being ourselves and adoring our friends for being themselves.
5 am. No one else is awake. Sitting on my back porch with the first cigarette of the day. My porch is designed so that the sunrise is framed between two beams. Fresh coffee, cooled perfectly with vanilla creamer. Crossword puzzle book. Everything smells fresher at 5am.
...except me, my father, uncle, and a few other guys who are quietly making our paths through the bean field to our tree stands. I hop the irrigation ditch and get to mine, climb the ladder, and take a seat. Backpack secured between my legs, gun across my lap, watching the sun start to come up over a small group of rivers that spill into Chesapeake Bay. No one's shot yet and it's dead quiet.
For me, the most blanket definition of "perfect moments" are those when you not just try but actually succeed at something new for the first time. Inevitably, outdoor sports are a favorite go-to example. FOCUS: I tried wakeboarding this summer for my first time, on the Mediterranean, with a group of 15 co-workers from the office here in Spain. The set up did not involve a boat, but rather, a cable with handles that ran around a track, much like a T-bar (see: ski resorts). As all of us were in the same disposition of being inexperienced, much fun was had just trying to make if off the starting line. After a few graceless attempts involving plunging my tea spout into the saltwater, the physics of the situation took hold in my mind. I realized that with a proper push, and a few adjustments for balance only when needed, I could go virtually any distance. Admittedly, the maraschino cherry on the whipped cream, being an average insecure youth, was the fact that nobody else in the group really managed to get up and going for more than 50 feet. Although on principle I don't place myself above others, right there and then I couldn't help it, which made the relish even sweeter.
Spoiler My senior year of high school, mom and dad took me to Switzerland as an early graduation present. We ended up in Interlocken on top of a mountain lodge hotel for the night. On the way up on the tram around sunset, we passed through a thunderstorm that was wrapping itself around the mountain. We passed through the storm and when we came out on top of the mountain, I looked down and saw the storm below us with lightning arcing across the clouds and thunder cracking through the night. Looking straight out the alps stretched into the distance and above it was a beautiful starry night. I sat and talked to my dad for about an hour outside about literally everything over a hot cup of coffee. Everything was perfect. The picture is the best I can find to describe the view, and that's from only half way up.
I think that there are many different types of perfect moments. For me, they either fall into some sort of athletic feat or family. One of the most perfect moments I've ever had of the former was after a long day hiking. We hadn't brought enough food for the day and when we got back we were so hungry we went to the only restaurant in the "town" (it was really only a collection of hostels) and ordered pretty much everything on the menu. You're sitting down, you body is filled with endorphins, you're muscles are still shaking, and you take that first bite of food. Your whole body suddenly knows that you can relax, that the effort is done for now, and because you're so hungry it is the best tasting meal of your life. On the other hand, just a family dinner with my mom, dad, and brother can also approach perfection. That feeling of everyone being together, of these being the connections that really matter (for me this is my immediate family, for others it may be close friends or a significant other) and just feeling completely at home. Like you are somewhere where you know you belong. Similar when I go fishing with my dad, that first cast. You know, I can't decide if this thread is making me happy or sad...
Off the top of my head I can only really define two moments as perfect in my life. The first was about 2 years ago, my friend's parents flew me and him up to Jackson Hole, Wyoming to go snowboarding for about a week. The first trip up the lift we rode all the way to the top. The wind had been whipping about all day and the snow was bombarding the ground, coming down in sheets so that you almost could not see further than 30 feet or so. As I was strapping in my left foot before I started my descent I just looked down the slope into pure white, with at least a foot of powder on the ground. It was a bit terrifying initially, but then the adrenaline kicked in and down I went. The second one is more recent...but it was getting my Math 528 final grade back and seeing a 129/130. My previous tests were 63/80 and 34/80, and my final replaced both. I got a warm fuzzy feeling