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Missed signals

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by lhprop1, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. lhprop1

    lhprop1
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    Here is a collection of missed signals <a class="postlink" href="http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ci4px/male_redditors_what_are_some_hints_females_gave/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comme ... ales_gave/</a>

    One of the better ones:
    Her: So this girl I know likes this guy I know but he's been oblivious to all of her signals, so what does she have to do to tell him she likes him?
    Me: I don't know, just tell him she likes him?
    Her: Like, "I like you?" Just like that?
    Me: Yeah, like that.
    Her: I like you.
    Me: Yeah, tell her to tell him that, and she'll be all set.
    pause
    Her: ...I like you.
    Me: Yup, you've got it... was there anything else?


    FOCUS: When have you been given such an obvious signal, yet failed to see it or capitlize on it? For me, it pretty much requires a Post-it note with "I want to have sex with you" stapled to my forehead for me to get the hint.
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    Just once. I have a note emblazoned in the back of a high school yearbook that I only fully understood the implications of years later. To my credit, I may have not actually read it up until that time. It's not like pages of "HAGS! KIT!" was something worth reading the first time around.
     
  3. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    Earlier in the semester, I was to a girl I had met recently. We were talking about our respective cooking abilities. She mentioned how she wasn't very good, I said I was decent. It led to this:

    Her: Hmm so if I pick up the groceries/ingredients required you would come over and cook them?
    Me: I was thinking more along the lines of you bringing me food in a tupperware container.

    ...Not only did I most likely completely miss the signal, my "joke" wasn't even remotely funny.

    Probably my biggest problem...I always take the ribbing too far to a point where it isn't even funny. Worst part is, I realized my stupidity, as always, not 10 seconds after the conversation was over.
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

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    I think my all time blunder was 8th grade. I was the rockin guitar player the middle school stage band, she was the cute blonde sister of one of my friends in the band. For some reason she was allowed to skip class with us and watch us play for other schools/town squares/malls. I started talking to her and we I guess flirted a lot (as much flirting as I was able to muster at 13). So one day we are on the school bus that was taking us to play somewhere and in the middle of talking to her she interrupted,

    "Hey, you're fun, you really need to find yourself a girlfriend! What do you think? I could help you find one!"

    (pause)

    "Yeah, guess I do....."

    "Want me to look for one for you?"

    "Uhhh I guess..."

    ....(pause).....

    She gets up and finds another seat further up the bus...


    Later, on the last day of school in the morning everyone had to sit in the gym before being released to first bell. We all had our year books and she came up to me shocked I had yet to ask her to sign mine and I wasn't getting away until she did. Sign number two completely missed. Later in the summer I was at a local amusement park with my friend and his girlfriend, she brought some of her friends who included this girl. Actually liking this girl I made it a point to sit with her on every ride we went on. As we sat down for lunch a black kid working there, full of that uninhibited black flavor, came and sat with us. It took him about two seconds to figure out the chick was into me and he prodded me in front of everyone to make a move. In one of my worst spinelessness showings in my life I muttered something about not thinking it'd work since her brother would beat my ass, he was also a star wrestler on our schools team. He just looked at me like an idiot, got up and left.

    She went on to become an absolute stunner in high school and exclusively dated guys from the all male private schools, that all hot girls did at my school. About two years ago I ran into her at a bar and I was absolutely black out drunk and from the stories Ive heard, it didn't go to well. I don't know all the details, I just hope I didn't spill my guts about my feelings on our almost relationship over a decade before.
     
  5. StayFrosty

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    The only signals I've ever missed are the ones warning me just how horribly I'm about to be fucked. (And not in the good way)
     
  6. BadBrains

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    This is genius level shit right here:

     
  7. Harry Coolahan

    Harry Coolahan
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    I miss signals pretty frequently. Probably at least 50% of the time I realize a girl is flirting with me, it's because one of my friends has pointed it out to me.

    An example from a couple years ago: A girl I had been rock climbing with for a few months invited me to go out drinking with her at a bar near her place. She told me she "wanted to check it out and didn't want to go alone." I tell my friend she invited me out drinking and without missing a beat he says, "Dude, she wants to fuck you." That thought never crossed my mind, but once he mentioned it it seemed pretty obvious. She ended up buying me $50 worth of drinks and later that night fucked my brains out.

    Most egregious example:

    I was a 16 year old virgin in high school and I was taking classes at the local community college. A girl from my high school had graduated the year before and was now attending that college. She was easily the hottest girl I can ever remember passing through my school. I wish I had a picture because this girl literally looked like a Maxim model. She was also a couple years older than me (18 or 19, can't remember).

    So, she was giving me a ride home one day, and out of nowhere says:

    Her: You know, now that I broke up with my boyfriend I never have anything to do.
    Me: Huh, that sucks.
    Her: Yeah, and my parents aren't going to be home until later tonight, so I have the house all to myself...
    Me: Yeah, I dunno what you should do...
    Her: What are you doing for the rest of the day?
    Me: Probably nothing. [we pull into my driveway] Well anyway, thanks for the ride.

    Approximately 5 seconds after she pulled out of the driveway, I realized my mistake. I tried to make up for lost time later but she always made excuses to avoid giving me rides and we stopped running into each other on campus.
     
  8. lust4life

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    Wife: "You have a drinking problem."
    Me: "No, you have a problem with my drinking."

    Repeated for 10 years, then:

    Wife: "I've hired a lawyer and am filing for divorce."
    Me: "Why, what's wrong?"
     
  9. ssycko

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    I'm usually pretty good about it, but there's one that literally kills me to think about. I was at a party talking to a girl I had been pretty interested in for a while, we'd been flirting and whatnot for some time but nothing had every happened. The conversation turns to sex, and it just ends up being us too pretty far removed from everybody else, talking about everything sex. At some point in the conversation, she starts telling me about how small the underwear she's currently wearing is, all while giving me that "I WANT TO SEX NOW" smile to me. Whatever I did, it wasn't saying "let's go sex," and whenever I see her I hate myself for being so stupid.
     
  10. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

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    Back in high school we had one friend who had a pool. Because of this, her house obviously became the usual hangout.

    While I only found her mildly attractive, I certainly never thought she had any interest in me. So one night when she invited me over via IM, I figured she was inviting over everybody. I started making plans to meet everybody else there only to discover that nobody else had been invited. I had completely overlooked certain aspects of the conversation, such as "my parents won't be home until tomorrow" and "I got that movie you were talking about last time" or "I don't think my parents would notice a couple of beers missing from the fridge."

    17-year-old virgin me completely chickened out and made other plans. What an asshole.
     
  11. Rumble

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    I am so bad at this. I think it's because I'm so easy going that I figure everything is just casual conversation... or I'm incredibly dense, this is probably more likely. There has been so many times where I don't realize that a girl is hitting on me until much MUCH later and I'm sure that I just end up looking like an uninterested jerk.

    A couple of weeks ago I was at a bar and this girl came up to me and gave me a random high-five and started chatting a little. I swear to god, all I could think of was: Hey she's pretty cute but what the hell was with the random high five and awkward conversation? Ugh. Fuck I'm awesome.
     
  12. The Dread Pirate

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    My junior year of college after a night out at the local bar. Pledge drove me, one of my fraternity brothers and two sorority girls home. We're all hammered and I just want to pass out somewhere. We stopped at the girl's dorm to let them out:

    Sorostitute: "[TDP], waaaaaaalk meeeeee home!"
    Me: "It's like twenty feet. Walk yourself."
    Sorostitute: "But I neeeeeed yooooooou to do it"
    Me: "I just want to go to bed. Can't [other sorority girl] walk you home?"
    Everyone else in the car: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR AND WALK HER HOME, YOU MORON!"

    I ended up passing out naked in her bed and not getting laid.
     
  13. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Back in high school, I was having a conversation with some girls about something I don't remember - I had long hair at the time so she teasingly asked me if I was gay, to which I replied I wasn't. Her response:

    "Prove it"

    woosh

    There have been other times where I've failed to capitalize on hints being thrown my way, but that hasn't been me missing them so much as me dismissing them. I tend to automatically assume anytime a woman flirts with me she's either just being friendly or fucking with me, so I don't really ever respond to anything. Understandably (and ironically comic), it just leads back to people wondering if I'm gay.
     
  14. Jimmy James

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    I walked into a clothes store with a friend of mine who was looking to get a shirt or something. My sunglasses had broken earlier in the week, so I wandered over to the sunglasses rack right next to the counter. As I started looking at stuff a cute sales girl asked me if I needed help with anything. I asked where the largest, most obnoxious sunglasses in the store were and how much they cost. She thought this was hilarious and we started bullshitting with each other. At one point, she mentioned she worked a couple of jobs and that she magically had one day where she didn't have to work. I asked her what she was going to do that day and she said she didn't have anything planned. My response? "That sucks. I hope you find something to do while you're free."

    As soon as my friend and I left the store, he slapped me upside the head for being retarded.
     
  15. Aetius

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    "I want your penis inside me"
    "I am not cutting off my penis just so you can have some grotesque surgery done with it woman!"
     
  16. Jimmy James

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    The only thing I took out of that place was the confused look she gave me.
     
  17. BL1Y

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    Odds are if these signals hadn't of been missed, most of the situations wouldn't have resulted in sex anyways. Missing these signals means there's probably a dozen other bonehead mistakes you would have made anyways. And then some number of the girls would have turned out to be cockteases, or just wanted the validation of knowing you want to have sex with them without actually going through with it, or whatever.

    I personally don't have this problem though. I interpret everything anyone says to me as that person trying to have sex with me. I rarely miss an opportunity. I'm also rarely correct.
     
  18. JGold

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    I'm usually fairly adept at reading signals; it’s not too hard to tell if a (normal) girl is into you or not.

    That said, I had a terrible lapse this past summer. I’m still kicking myself over it. I’d recently moved to Denver and was hanging out a lot with one of the few people I knew in the city, a female friend from way-back-when. She was having another girl visit from their mutual hometown in Virginia and obviously wanted to set me up, because the girl had recently been dumped and was on the rebound (Obvious Signal No. 1).

    When Visiting Girl arrived, my friend basically shoved the two of us together in a bar, and then after closing we went back to my female friend’s apartment. My friend invited me to stay the night because the three of us were going hiking in the morning. She went to bed.

    Visiting Girl, who I should mention was a no-shit 8, immediately made it known it was OK for me to share the futon with her so I didn’t have to curl up on the La-Z-Boy (Obvious Signal No. 2). I obliged, but for some reason still didn’t make a move. At the time I told myself I wasn't getting a strong enough vibe. She finally just took matters into her own hands. She rolled over and started cuddling, putting her head on my shoulder and arm around my chest (Obvious Signals No. 3-57). It’s about to get steamy, right? All I had to do was lift my head a few inches and kiss her.

    I went straight to sleep.

    The next day, I had a chance to redeem myself. We were sitting by this beautiful lake in Rocky Mountain National Park, on a boulder slightly out into the water. My female friend had wandered off somewhere, leaving just the two of us. I felt this girl leaning toward me, stealing sideways glances (Obvious Signal No. 58). I could swear a hawk flew overhead and cawed, “Just kiss her already. What the hell is wrong with you?”

    I didn’t. She left the next day.

    Utter, epic fail. I hadn’t acted that much like a little bitch since I was 17. I don’t know what was wrong with me, I just couldn’t pull the trigger because I wasn't convinced she was into me.

    I think she’s coming back this summer. Then again, at this point, she probably considers me asexual. I don't blame her.
     
  19. gogators

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    I don't even know how to explain how I didn't pick up on this one. It was so blatant that it just went right over my head.

    I was in Walmart, getting a flat tire fixed, and ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in a while. I was telling him about some survey work I was doing and how these folks had released gators into a slough to control beavers. That's when the chick behind the counter, at least 6 - 7, pipes up that she "loves a man that can control beavers".

    Yeah... went right the fuck over my head. I made it to my truck, started leaving the parking lot and then it dawned on me. I wheeled it back into the spot and went to see if she was still there. Her shift had ended and the dude behind the counter didn't know her name.

    This is the only place/time that I have ever mentioned it.
     
  20. $100T2

    $100T2
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    I had a moment that has since been explained in the movie "Hitch".

    I took this girl out on a date, took her back to her place, walked her to the door, and she starts fiddling with her keys.

    No, I didn't kiss (or fuck her) goodnight. Why? Because I was a fucking dope, that's why.

    And like many of the other stories here, there was never another shot at it. It seems there are a lot of girls who only give you that one chance, and if you fuck it up, that's it.