Admittedly stolen from facebook, h/t: Focus: You're a burglar, but instead of stealing things, you do things to mildly inconvenience your victims. What is your crime? Alt. Focus: What is a mild inconvenience for other people, but royally pisses you off?
Hide their car keys, rearrange the spice cabinet, remove one battery from all TV remotes, put nearly dead batteries in all their smoke detectors, install spyware on their computers.
A few light bulbs from lamps and the fridge The switch for the bathroom fan Dustpan Chip clips / twist ties
Turn down the temp on the hot water heater. Leave the freezer door cracked. Put low flow filters in the shower heads. Take all the toilet paper.
Fuck with all the doors so that the only way you can close them is to do that fucking “lift up the doorknob and wait for the click” trick.
Switch tub plugs around with sink plugs. Set clock radio alarm to ring full blast just after you leave. Wrap clock radio in entire roll of cling wrap from kitchen. Spray/smear all doorknobs with house’s most slippery kitchen substance. Roll up all floor rugs. Lean them against closed doors on the blind side.
This drives me out of my mind. Every single time my wife gets ice from the fridge, without fail, ice cubes fall on the floor.
If the have an ice maker - block it up, so that no ice comes out. Or push all the ice back toward the back of the bin so it takes forever to come out...but they can hear it moving in there...
Open up their thermostat, turn it up or down, then put the cover back on so that it looks like it hasn't been changed. Does this stuff have to be limited to their house? Because I can tell you ALL KINDS of ways to screw with their car. Like putting a resistor on the wire for their fuel gauge, so that it doesn't read correctly anymore. "But I had a quarter of a tank left..."
Wire their horn to their brake lights. Did this to a buddy while he was still in a restaurant taking a shit after we were done eating. We were on a street with traffic lights every block. Fucking laughed our asses off.
Put a bunch of bricks in their toilet tank, so that way only about half a quart of water comes out when they flush. And hide their plunger.
Or how about a bomb while we’re at it. Hopefully they have a cast iron tub for Riggs to yank them in.
Go under their sinks and switch the water hoses. Jesus H. Christ, it pisses me off when people have the hoses switched around. You're there washing your hands, and the water isn't getting colder, so you figure it's just taking awhile... Then you burn yourself. The worst part: the house that Jungle Julia and I live in has almost ALL of the plumbing fixture temperatures switched. The guy who built it screwed up royally somehow, and the pipes on the water heater are switched, as well as all the sinks and showers. I'd just switch the lines on the water heater, but the ONLY bathroom that isn't plumbed wrong is in our room, and all the pipes are set in concrete.