Might want to rethink cutting off your penis after a breakup

I spent over $4,000 in a brothel fucking 5 different women over the course of 8 or 9 hours. After break-up sex.

I don't really have $4,000 to spend in a brothel.

 

If the "Pretty Woman" movie was based on real life ...

A wealthy New York businessman who tried to save a prostitute by giving her almost $130,000 is suing her after she went back to selling sex.

Robert Brot, 57, says he fell in love with 26-year-old Lindsey DeLeon after meeting on an internet dating website in October 2008.

Ms DeLeon, who was broke with two children, worked as a stripper and escort until the Manhattan property developer reportedly gave her close to $130,000 to clear her debts and start a new life as his wife.

The case mirrors the hit 1990 movie Pretty Woman in which Richard Gere plays a businessman who attempts to rescue a call girl, played by Julia Roberts.

But unlike the romantic film, Ms DeLeon was reportedly not prepared to leave behind her former life.

"He's got a really big heart, and he intended to help rescue her," the New York Post reported Mr Brot's lawyer Andrew Miltenberg as saying.

"He fell in love with a woman, and he thought he was helping her turn her life around … [but] she had other ideas for him and his money."

The suit alleges that Mr Brot helped Ms DeLeon move to New York, where she agreed to pursue a career in real estate.

Mr Brot eventually paid for her to return home to Oklahoma to fight a custody battle with her ex.

But four months after returning to Oklahoma, Mr Brot alleges he found Ms DeLeon's selling her services on the internet.

One of Ms DeLeon's ads described her as a "sweet southern redhead with natural DDDs" who had "a very naughty side".

Mr Brot, a divorced father of two, is now suing her for the $114,500 she allegedly still owes him plus legal costs.

"For Robert, it was a real relationship," his lawyer was quoted as saying.

"The guy got his heart broken."

 

Who the fuck would cut off their own dick? The worst I would ever do is choke the little guy, but only so I could ask girls if they wanted to give him CPR for lack of breathing.


Focus: Kind of a cliche, but I dated a girl during college who was nuttier than squirrel shit and carved "MANWHORE", "ASSHOLE" and other such obscenities into the side of my SUV after she found out I had hooked up with someone else. The dorm cameras caught her in the act and I threatened legal action unless she payed for the damage. She complied and I didn't hear from her since.

 

After my ex-fiance left me, I proceeded to go without carnal relations for 3 years.

That showed her.

 

After my ex and I broke up, I resigned from my job, and a week later flew to Brisbane, Australia, where I continued to spend the next 6 months of my life taking every and any drug I could get my hands on until i ran out of money.

Then I came back home with my tail between my legs and found myself trying to find a job half as decent as the last one.

 

Getting dumped sucks, but nothing says "Fuck you I'm fine" like getting a good ol' fashioned "Plan B Relationship" with someone more attractive than the girl/boy that just crushed you.

I've asked this before, and I'll ask it again to a wider audience:

What is more satisfying when you run into an ex that you have contempt for?

a) Running into her while you're on a date with a knockout or...
b) Running into her while she's on a date with the biggest loser in the solar system?

...both happened to me at the same time. I'll tell you, it feels like every Christmas of your life happening at the exact same time.

 

I got dumped hard in June. I haven't been laid or gone on a date since. She said I drank too much when we were together. Oh boy if she could see me now! HA BITCH!

 

Not immediately post-breakup, but still:

Dated a guy through most of college. I paid for his way through state college (I worked and was on scholarship, he didn't and was not). He then dumped me for his high school girlfriend, who he was cheating with for who knows how long. Needless to say, I was pissed, but I held it together. However, when he asked me to bring him some of his stuff AND called me "pretty much the devil" (I'm not sure how he reached that conclusion) several months later, I had enough. I was living in a house with a tree covered in poison ivy in my back yard, so I put on some gardening gloves and rubbed his shit all into the poison ivy, then put it on his doorstep while he was away from home. He's not deathly allergic to poison ivy, but I know he gets a nasty rash that's worse than the usual reaction. I laugh a little to myself every time I think of him picking some of that stuff up and then being itchy later that day. Serves him right.

 

It's hard to say, but I'd probably have to go with option a. Mostly because that generally means you can take pleasure both in getting back at the ex and personally knowing that your life is now going good as well. Rather than just her life sucking.

I sorta had a both at the same time kind of situation as well, though not that extreme. The new girl was as hot as the ex, and the ex's guy looked pretty lame. It was at a party. The kicker was, after explaining the ex's death glares at us to the new girl, she played along and was basically all over me the rest of the time. And I got laid that night.

God damn it, they don't make nights like that too often. No sir.

On the other side of the coin, I once ran into an ex while I was unemployed, single, and drunk, and she was with a very handsome gentleman that was a financial something or other for one of those fancy companies (I had heard of it). That sucked...

 

After a girl dumped me for her ex(this was after cheating on him with me and leaving him for me), she asked me not to contact her mainly because if her ex saw her in touch with me in any way he would kill her. I decided to be mature and do just that. Didn't contact her for several months. Of course I did keep tabs on her but come on everyone does that right? Anyway, after months of not contacting her, one night I got really hammered and I saw on her AIM away message that she wasn't sure how to get to some place. I took the liberty of sending her a very cordial, drunk e-mail giving her accurate directions to the place. I didn't even remember doing it the next day until I checked my email and saw a message from her saying "go fuck yourself."

Found out from a mutual acquaintance that he kept tabs on her email and when he saw my email he assumed the worst and broke up with her. I don't really know what to make of it. Should I be happy? Sad? Pissed off? *shrugs*