Mardi Gras Drunk Thread [2-12-10] Fuck V Day, Take a V Card

Brett Favre noticed your wife got a new purse. It's nice, but why did she have to get the same one he did?

Brett Favre is happy for you and your team winning the Super Bowl, but you don't have to be such a poopie head and rub it in!

Brett Favre isn't returning your phone calls right now. He's not mad at you, he's upstairs crying because Lady GaGa lost to Kings of Leon.

Drew Brees wouldn't let anyone insert hair care objects into you. If you have a little too much to drink at a party, he'll tuck you into his bed to sleep it off and take the couch.

 

Sent home from work for Snowmageddon South: Son of Snowmageddon.

Query: how drunk can I get armed with a mason jar full of black berry moonshine and a bottle of single barrel Jack Daniels, with Thor as a sidekick and a season of Dexter to rewatch?

Answer: forthcoming.

Drew Brees smeared poop on his face at the tender age of 19. No one ever told him he missed a spot when cleaning off. Awkward.

 

Drew Brees defeated twelve Germans in an office highrise in 1988 armed with only slacks and a wifebeater.

Drew Brees knocked up your girlfriend and never missed a child support payment.

Drew Brees doesn't mind eating a sandwich with the crusts still on.

Drew Brees taught Bo and Luke Duke how to drive. Then, he fucked their cousin on a Boar's Nest pool table.

Pimpin' ain't Breesy.

 

Well I am at work, and lightly buzzed. I have been up since 5 am and yesterday I moved all of the shit over to the new apartment. Of course Jägerette with her delicate constitution couldn't move much of anything.

Today I put up shelving and pictures and shit. The cable guy thought I was baller as I held the bubble level with one hand and took a swig of rye with the other. The couch was delivered today, and man is it comfortable. My work is lucky I was able to get out of it .

But the living room and the dining room alone are bigger than my old place, and the sunset last night made it worth while.

I'll post a picture of the view later.

 

Yaaaay reading week. I've had six exams in the last six weeks (three in the last seven days) and have two more waiting for me the week I come back.

I don't like school.

On the plus side, some classmates agreed that my limoncello turned out quite nicely. This was decided upon while drinking in class today.

In other exciting news: I have a wedding to go to on sunday. I am seriously conflicted. Open bar; an unnecessarily elaborate and ornate affair. Open bar; the girl was engaged to another guy less than three years ago and the break-up hit her hard and met this gentleman soon after, so the pessimist in me isn't optimistic about how long it will last. Open bar; time with the family. Open bar; that atrocious chicken dance song. Open bar; pretending to give a shit.

 

So, I've pretty much been planning all week to have a easy weekend at home. No going out, minimal drinking...after last weekend and staying up till 6am Friday and Saturday night drinking scotch and coors light I feel like I need it.

Of course the closer it gets to five o'clock the more my resolve starts to waiver. That and my roommates and I are gonna grab some dinner at our favorite Mexican food place right on Lake Hefner tonight. We'll see what happens.

 

Currently I am trying to get as drunk as possible till I take the girlfriend to the stupid fucking tattoo convention that is going to cost me to much money. Anyone have ideas of how to hide rum breath?

 

Just got this text: "Want to do arts and crafts tonight? Want to drink? Want to go out downtown?"

The answer is yes to all three. I don't know what's all involved in arts and crafts but I'm kinda excited.

 

With beer.

Duh.

 

Hey! I took a V-Card recently. I'm only eight behind Chater now. Not literally of course, we all know that THAT hole's had more movement than a carnival whack-a-mole.

 

The beer idea is not working, I tried its kinda making me just have to pee. Random thought, on my way home I saw a 13-14 year old kind all gangstered out, Im talking knee length shirt baggy as hell pants that have to be held up evertything. What the fuck is wrong with children and parents nowadays, why is is so hard to look normal?

 

Fucking Valentine's Day. I feel like I should get my husband some small token gift but I have no ideas what it should be. I am sure a combination of steak and blowjob would do the trick, but I feel like I should show that I put a little bit of pre-thought into it.

 

If abortion weren't so restricted in Utah, you wouldn't have this problem.

Not meant to be political, just tasteless.

 

Running low on moonshine and lucidity.

Moving to whiskey soon. Condisdering eating the blackberries that have been sitting in the moonshine for the past 2 months. Thoughts?

 

Mix the berries into a smoothie so you can combine ice cream and alcohol in one fell swoop

 

The jar was 1/2 full when I got home from work. The copilot/dog looks dissapointed.

Cvan;t seem to uplaod pictures to this post. i've got a good number of berries though. How many do I need for a smoothie? Who wants to drive me to the grocery store for non alcoholic things as my fridge seems onesided at this point.

 

Finally I can join this thread, I'm getting a late start but damn does this beer taste good.

No plans tonight but to continue my Freaks and Geeks marathon and drink. Sounds like a good night to me.

 

Just BBQed a pork tenderloin crusted with crushed "Grippos BBQ chips". Fucking awesome. Goes really well with Knob Creek.

Tonight is a shut in night.

 

Well, its 6pm and I just cracked open my first 16oz Coors Light. Having a relaxing night at the house is starting to look less and less likely.

 

Aunt Flo came to visit the wife today. No 'Tines action for me. No, I will not attempt to get my Red Wings, yuck. Went out and bought a few nice smelling posies too. FUCK!