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Mardi Gras Drunk Thread [2-12-10] Fuck V Day, Take a V Card

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Feb 12, 2010.

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  1. iczorro

    iczorro
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    I grew up in MN, and lived in the middle east and socal by fucking choice. Now that I'm stuck in the northeast in the middle of 9 snow storms, I have the right to be pissed.
     
    #21 iczorro, Feb 12, 2010
  2. Blue Dog

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    I don't get it either- snow is friggin' AWESOME! I played in it for my entire lunch break! IM SOBER AND I CAN'T FEEL MY NOSE! SWEET!

    Drew Brees will totally play against you in Madden or Halo or whatever, even though he isn’t very good at video games and he knows you play it all the time. He is happy to see you win.

    Drew Brees doesn’t secure his wifi router so his neighbors can use his internet for free. He's all about sharing.

    Drew Brees will always buy the first round, even if he is the designated driver. Its important to him that yall have a good time.
     
    #22 Blue Dog, Feb 12, 2010
  3. RCGT

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    Re: Weekend Drunk Thread [2-12-10] Fuck V Day, Take a V Card

    Good call.

    What does it say about me that I have that page bookmarked?
     
    #23 RCGT, Feb 12, 2010
  4. Ogee

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    Don't be bitter, it's not our fault you gave up on life and setup shop in Buffalo. At least it isn't... Iowa.
     
    #24 Ogee, Feb 12, 2010
  5. shegirl

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    Drew Brees once took a computer class. He got all flustered when he couldn't figure out what Ctrl meant. It made him sad. He gave up and went home to play with something that made him happy, his Etch-a-Sketch. When he drew the picture of Mickey Mouse ears he clapped with glee. Then he grabbed a cookie, box of apple juice, rolled out his nap pad and laid down. He was tired from his busy day and no wonder, it was past naptime.
     
    #25 shegirl, Feb 12, 2010
  6. Crown Royal

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    I'll be more than HAPPY to bitch about snow, and we're at the same height on the globe. I always love it when people ask me when I'm on vacation down south "Don't you miss the snow?"

    Yes, I do. As much as I miss having a car door slam on my hand or being kicked in the nuts with a frozen boot.

    Of course, I'm used to it after three or so decades but I will never, EVER like winter. There are very few redeemable factors about it and I just think of it as boot camp for summer. If you can survive winter, look forward to seven months of barbecues, sun and drinking outdoors. Then, Halloween ends and everything once again goes to shit. Repeat.

    Oh, and Drew Brees flies coach just so somebody else can have his first class seat.
     
    #26 Crown Royal, Feb 12, 2010
  7. Blue Dog

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    Wrong. Drew Brees doesn't need a CTRL key on his keyboard, because he's always in control.

    /Chuck Norris-ed

    Drew Brees will give you the front seat, even if he called shotgun first. Your comfort is important to him.

    If Drew Brees sprinkles when he tinkles, he is a sweetie and wipes the seatie.

    Drew Brees will buy the most expensive gifts on a couple's registry list, and then put your name on the "From" part of the card. He doesn't want you to feel pressured into buying something that you can't afford.
     
    #27 Blue Dog, Feb 12, 2010
  8. shegirl

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    He gives up the front seat because watching traffic whizzing by scares him. Kind of like when he sees boobs.

    With that second one, I'm beginning to think you're the ghei.
     
    #28 shegirl, Feb 12, 2010
  9. Blue Dog

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    Drew Brees LOVES boobs, but he looks you in the eye when you are wearing a low-cut top because he is a gentleman and respects you for your intangible qualities just as much as he does for your physical attributes.

    And the same note- when Drew Brees says "just the tip", he means it. He respects you too much to make you do something you are not fully comfortable with.

    Drew Brees will duel Johnny Ringo on your behalf.
     
    #29 Blue Dog, Feb 12, 2010
  10. Rob4Broncos

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    Brett Favre once tried to golf at Augusta, and was rejected because women aren't allowed there.

    Brett Favre used to get in lots of trouble as a kid, because he liked the feeling of his uncle spanking him.

    Brett Favre's favorite book is Twilight. He just wished he knew how to read it.

    Brett Favre is comfortable in his Wrangler jeans, because they cover up his pantyhose nicely.
     
    #30 Rob4Broncos, Feb 12, 2010
  11. shegirl

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    It's just not the same with Brett. Hmm...gee, I wonder why......maybe because HE FUCKING LOST TO DREW BREES. Now that's ghei.
     
    #31 shegirl, Feb 12, 2010
  12. Blue Dog

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    Drew Brees says, "No no, America- no need to thank me at all! Its the least I could do."

    Drew Brees once joined the professional golf circuit in order to raise extra money to save his grandmother's house, even though his true passion was hockey.

    Drew Brees saw that you peed your pants, so he splashed water on the front of his pants to make the other kids think it was the cool thing to do.
     
    #32 Blue Dog, Feb 12, 2010
  13. shegirl

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    I refuse to acknowledge the first outside a fuck you.

    Drew Brees was a caddy for one of the golfers but only for about 15 minutes because the bag was too heavy.

    Drew Brees then pooped his pants, giggled and said, "I made a dukey in my britches."
     
    #33 shegirl, Feb 12, 2010
  14. Rob4Broncos

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    Drew Brees is sorry that you lost, but he'll shake your hand to commend how hard you played and wish you good luck next season.

    Drew Brees gave Brett Favre his last Gatorade during the 4th quarter. He was exhausted, but saw Brett hobbling on the other sideline. He understands the value of sportsmanship.

    Drew Brees once had a young child show up at his doorstop by mistake because his mother passed away, but took care of him anyway and raised him just as one of his own.
     
    #34 Rob4Broncos, Feb 12, 2010
  15. travis

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    Here's a cool Drew Brees video for all you Saints fans out there. Drew Brees pumping up some fans in a New Orleans bar after the Super Bowl...



    Focus:No work today! Three day weekend bitches. Just started drinking the leftover beer in my fridge, and as soon as that's done, I'm moving on to a $9 handle of Admiral Nelson. That stuff is fucking delicious.

    I have absolutely no plans besides drinking all day. No girlfriend to have to get shit for Valentine's day. I plan on being a drunken moron for three straight days. Probably gonna be the best weekend ever.
     
    #35 travis, Feb 12, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. Pap

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    Drew Brees once had a long lost uncle pass away and leave him with a multi billion dollar corporation. He didn't let the money go to his head and bought everyone in his home town a Corvette.
     
    #36 Pap, Feb 12, 2010
  17. iczorro

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    Jesus, shegirl, have a little self respect.
     
    #37 iczorro, Feb 12, 2010
  18. SaintBastard

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    I heard a rumor that if Drew Brees belches, you can hear church bells.

    Drew Brees divides his time between reading aloud to deaf kids, taking blind children to art museums, and volunteering at the retarded animal shelter.
     
    #38 SaintBastard, Feb 12, 2010
  19. Primer

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    I, unlike ya'll, enjoy and like winter. For one, snow kicks ass. You can ski on it, rub it on womens boobs and their nips get hard and best of all, you can poop on the grass and NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW!!!

    Snow kicks ass.

    Also, winter makes you more of a man. I demand removal of all man cards if they complain about the cold - harden the fuck up.

    Also, who is Drew Bees? He sounds like a nice fellow.
     
    #39 Primer, Feb 12, 2010
  20. SaintBastard

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    I hope you get eiffel towered by Jack Frost and Frosty the Snowman.
     
    #40 SaintBastard, Feb 12, 2010
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