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Discussion in 'All-Star Threads' started by downndirty, Jan 26, 2010.
Wow 9 pages and no one has mentioned this one:
Never fruit your beer.
Something tells me you haven't actually followed through on this at a club with bouncers who look suspiciously like refrigerators.
Sir, I must protest. Though it may be superfluous, there is nothing wrong with a slice of orange in a good Belgian witbier, nor is there anything wrong with a well-made fruit beer.
You mean I can't put a lime in my Corona Light?!?!
When communicating with one another, men must communicate via derogatory comments. Especially when one skips out on a night of drinking.
Pussy and vadge are common terms of endearment for one another.
"Cajones" is coming home late after the night shift at La Parilla, smelling like frijoles, grease stains on your bolo, and asking your wife to drop 15 pounds so she looks like the hot broadcaster on Telemundo.
Continuing on that topic, when in doubt, whip it out. Exposing oneself always leads to humorous situations with beneficial outcomes.
Someone said this on the old board, and I'll never forget it:
"Love your children more than your wife, and love your wife more than yourself."
It is never acceptable for 2 men to ride on a motorcycle together.
You never see shirts that say "If you can read this my buddy fell off", coincidence I think not.
A man should never admit to being wrong. If you are arguing with someone and you know you are wrong, just yell louder.
If a man has a scar, he may tell the story his way.
Ripped your hand open trying to open a can of cat food or disarmed three muggers who were robbing the blind old lady in the wheelchair,
Or for sports related reasons. Favorite player retires/breaks a huge record. Your team wins a championship for the first time, or after a historic drought.
Rule 283: Only pussies and faggots pass out when they're drinking, so if you pass out you're gonna get fucked.
Rule 284: If you ain't some badass mofo like a soldier, a firefighter, or a lawyer you better shut up and take your place.
Rule 285: If she does blow, she's good to go; but if she does smack, five bucks'll have her on her back. If her cooter smells, smack the bitch and yell. If her cooter's tight, stretch that shit all night.
Speaking of which, my buddy's 'eighteen' year old (heh heh) neice is staying with him this weekend. That homo always passes out when I bring over lager. Catch y'all later.
Goddamnit Ballsack, what the FUCK is wrong with you?
Ballsack has a warped sense of drinking due to all the coke he does. After a teener of blow it's hard to pass out.
Ironman, I would have taken him to task for comparing himself to a firefighter.
We already know his anal-obsessed proclivity towards passed out friends, but his delusional side shows himself.
I would have gone here.
Can we agree that the only time you're allowed to date a girl younger than 18 is when you're within two years of her age? In fact, I think that might even be the law...
I hope I'm not the only who realizes that this is a joke account (notice the dash between Ballsack and 3.0) and not the real Ballsack. Although it is pretty funny nonetheless, and based on actual Ballsack posts.
Rules for your buddy's sister:
1. You cannot be her first.
2. If the number of guys she has been with is determined (either by admission or tribunal) to be more than the number of years you have been friends, she is fair game.
3. If the number of years you have been friends is 0, and she has already hooked up with at least one mutual friend, you must seek permission-see "Buddy's Ex"
4. If you date the sister for longer than a year, you are no longer buddies, you are "My sister's boyfriend."
The number of "hobbies" a single man has must be at least 1 less than the number of sex partners he has had in the last 18 months. For example, if you have had 2 sex partners, you can build model airplanes, collect Star Wars memorabilia, or read comic books, but not all three.
You must know how to prepare at least one acceptable meal that a member of the opposite sex would willingly eat outside of a refugee camp. Steak, baked potato, salad is acceptable.
There is a fine line between knowing what wine accompanies what meal and knowing far too much about wine. It's meant to get you drunk, junior, if I wanted a French geography lesson, I'd ask Francesca or Jeanette.
Appropriate respect shall be accorded to veterans, firemen, soldiers and police officers in that order.
If you cannot fluently speak French, you should never use French phrases in conversation.
You are only as good as the company you keep.