Man Law

How about instead of all these comparisons-

If you ever have to wonder about whether or not your dog is too small, it's too small.

 

Addendum: A man may hold the door open to another able-bodied peer, provided said peer is carrying the following included, but not limited to, items:
A carcass
'His' woman (conscious or not)
An engine
Beers
A side of beef

You get the point.

 

What about: "Man, I'd really like to fuck that girl named Six from Blossom"? Because I've been saying that since '91.

Here's a picture too (Maybe NSFW)

 

A man should drive a manual vehicle, I don’t want my car telling me it’s time to shift.

A man should be able to open ANY jar. If the lid is fused by the act of an evil demigod a man can use one of his extensive power tools to remedy the problem. The more dangerous and overpowered for the job the better. i.e. Gas Axe or Chainsaw. (I have never needed to resort to these measures, but jars know I would)

If you go (are dragged) to the grocery store with your girl YOU CARRY all the fucking grocery’s back to the car, don’t wheel them in the trolly like a godamd nanna and don’t split the load with your woman you limp wristed toungedarter.

Yes you can fix that with a hammer and duct tape, remind her if she continues to question your man judgement it can fix her too.

Don’t EVER call it duck tape.

OWN duct tape.

 

If thy son hath sexual relations with a hot teacher, thou shall not call the police, thou shall congratulate him and buy him a beer. If thy daughter hath sexual relations with a teacher, thy shall rightfully kill the teacher and send thy daughter to a convent.

 

A man doesn't own hair products. He has a bottle regular of shampoo and a bottle of Rogaine at most. Actually, a man doesn't own 'products' period.

There is no excuse for drinking a cooler. Even it is the only available drink for miles, don't touch that shit.

 

So if you have a large load of groceries you leave the cart and walk back and forth? Why wouldn't I use the shopping cart and make one trip? That is more like a "how the mentally challenged make simple tasks harder" law.

 

A man Knows the difference between grilling and barbecuing.

A man never bitches about his wife to his parents.

Statute of repose -- A man can go out with the boys when he wants, but if he's always leaving his wife and kids to get drunk and party for a period of more than ten years, he's a fuck-up.

Statute of limitations (thanks to Philalawyer) -- a man plays the field, but if after the age of 35 he hasn't set up something permanent, he's got issues.

 

We're gonna need more input on this one.

 

I have to go with Nettdata on this one. Being a man means you can decide to do whatever the fuck you want. However there are consequences to all actions. In this case its being made fun of. You can choose to break any man law you want but the word 'pussy' may be part of your comprehensive repercussion package as well as the annoying tendency you may have to want to sit down while you pee.

An amendment: These repercussions may be halted by a well placed fist to the jaw of the largest individual in the group of ridiculers in your particular drinking establishment (or wherever the man law has been transgressed) and then calmly returning to your fruity drink (or other girly behavior) never to be made fun of again.

 

Here is my input in the topic, although my vagina may make my input null and void.

Can't we all, regardless of sex, enjoy a nice frozen beverage at a swim up bar at a resort? You order a beer and it just gets warm too fast out in the hot sun. You order a mixed drink gets watered down as the ice melts too quickly. You order shots, but that isn't a sipping drink. A frozen drink is the perfect temp for that occasion.

 

We're discussing man law and you introduce practicality?

Man doesn't know logic.

 

I forgot my place again, didn't I? I had better check on that cake.

 

Taking a wrong turn is permissible, but a man always knows where the fuck he is.

 

Holy fuck, I know where we are, we'll be where we should be in a few blocks.