Inspired by this TED talk: <a class="postlink" href="http://blog.ted.com/2009/12/02/cindy_gallop_ma/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://blog.ted.com/2009/12/02/cindy_gallop_ma/</a> Focus: Is porn ruining regular sex? Has it created a generation of people with unreal expectations of what should happen in the bedroom? Does it put pressure on others to go too far outside of their own comfort zone, because they feel that they should? Or is it just a nice distraction that can enhance our sexuality?
I think it might in some regard, at least for those inexperienced in relationships. I watch porn on occasion and have sex with my girlfriend, but I can differentiate. I don't expect my girlfriend to take a load in the ass and have some other chick slurp it out with a crazy straw (you guys watch that stuff too, right?). I enjoy sex with her even if is fairly reserved compared to past partners. The emotional aspect is definitely better. Jacking it to porn is more of self maintenance than anything.
This is related (another TED Talk): Also this (not sure about the actual validity of it though): Dopamine Infographic
I mean if that woman wants to have sex with men in their 20's at her age she's going to have to do DVDA. Also when did TED become a speaking platform for every person whose done commentary for a cable news network? Porn comes with the good and the bad. Porn though has seemed to turn to more rough shit and I guess it sells otherwise it wouldn't be done. I personally don't get it, Ive actually started downsizing the window or move the adds off screen so I don't have to watch an HD Brazzers add where the women are being yanked around by their underwear, spit on, and bitch slapped when Im watching a porn video.
I think its good and bad. I'll admit that its made me a little expectant on sexual openess. And made a threesome a white whale that I think about a bit too more than is healthy. But at the same time, its made me far more imaginative and made try out more stuff and its been received very well accordingly. I firmly believe without porn, I'd be a far more deficient in that whole area. I understand where porn could be problematic with some, especially less experienced. If it's used for imagination and inspiration, it can be great. As soon as it evolves into expectation, then it gets to become an issue.
Honestly, yeah. I get bored with a girl after a while if she won't do anal, take a load to the face, isn't at least open to the idea of a threesome on a special occasion, etc. Those don't have to be every-night things but at least once in a while. I realize that makes me a gigantic asshole, but it is what it is.
I am pro-porn in both a theoretical and a practical sense, but it's definitely got its share of issues. From a production standpoint, it's a dangerous industry filled with shady people. Whether that's because that's just the nature of the work, or because the dominant cultural narrative means that we can't acknowledge sex openly is beside the point -- in a very real way, very real people are hurt by the industry. Drug use is rampant. The lines of consent can get extremely murky. Sexually transmitted infection is by no means eradicated. It's risky. From a consumption standpoint, we've gotten to a point where porn is more readily accessible than actual sexual health information, and there isn't a lot of information to contextualize what young people are seeing. It's frankly dangerous to look to porn for advice if you don't know what you're seeing. Most porn is purchased by men, and made by men, so obviously most of it is going to be produced for men. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but if your sexual education is so heartily informed by a deliberately heightened and fake situation that panders to you, you're going to have a terribly misguided notion of what sex is. Despite all of this, I think that porn has a place in healthy sexual expression. But it's very much far from perfect, and I think there's a good bit that anti-porn people and pro-porn people could come together about.
On this note, I think another pro for porn is how it's helped to normalize kinkier sex, especially before the past however many years it has been since things like BDSM have been a bit more mainstream. For something super out there, I'm sure it's nice to not feel as alone or freakish when you see that there are videos (and therefore presumably other people with the same fetish out there) catering to balloon popping fetishes. And then for something not as nutty (relatively), like all the many different subsets of BDSM, to get introduced to this entire culture of people who are also into the same things you are. This is especially so for amateur porn where it's not just a case of people getting paid to do it, and it shows people genuinely interested in whatever it is you're looking for. I think it's also a good way for someone to safely explore their sexuality and interests, and maybe discover what it is they're really into. Of course, on the flip side of all that, there's the risk of normalizing things that shouldn't have any illusion of being acceptable, like child porn.
Porn isn't all bad. But...seriously, how close does Brazzers come to normal satisfying sex for a couple? I feel pretty lucky in that I've had more than my share of sex. I was communicative, open-minded and learned not to take sex too seriously. I tried to enjoy it, in a variety of ways and I think I was just lucky in that one of my biggest turn-ons is hearing/feeling a girl orgasm. So, for me to have satisfying sex, she must also be having something of a good time. Porn doesn't teach or show any of that. If we have this shit as superfluous as it is, it should come with a disclaimer that this is not real sex. Normal people don't fuck like this. Because I have encountered plenty of fucktards who believe they learned all they need to know about sex from porn. And in many ways, it encourages a less open-minded view of sex. I do think it skews your perceptions a little bit, in much the same way action movies change the way inexperienced people understand guns, or romantic comedies treat weddings. If all you know, you learned from watching porn, your sex life will be utterly fucked up at best, miserably disappointing at least. Also, this is relevant: <a class="postlink" href="http://jonmillward.com/blog/studies/deep-inside-a-study-of-10000-porn-stars/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://jonmillward.com/blog/studies/dee ... orn-stars/</a> Guy studies 10,000 porn stars. I want that job.
I like porn. "Normal" porn, not into people getting beat, eating weird shit or taking three cocks in one hole type stuff. I'm pretty adventurous and porn has been a source of inspiration at times. However, I'll repeat what has been said, some people develop some weird expectations from it and I'm sure it has stripped away the emotional aspect for many people.
I think porn can give some people unreasonable expectations but hopefully with maturity comes the realization that some of the things available aren't necessarily true to life or healthy. I've watched porn and it can certainly be enjoyable, but I seem to get too distracted by things while watching. Like, "Why aren't there any sheets on the bed? Doesn't that feel weird?" and "Why do guys always leave their socks on?" My husband had off work yesterday and we had a nooner and I guess his feet were cold because he said he was going to leave his socks on. All I could think was, "Hey, it's like I'm in a porno!" Seriously, are guys so distracted by cold feet the experience won't be enjoyable unless they keep them warm while doing it? Don't you slip? So many questions...
Nerdbird alert It also bears mentioning that "porn", at this point, isn't so much a genre as a medium. Different porn has very different goals in mind, and it's important to consider the motivation. The lines are blurry, but there is an important substantive difference between porn that depicts people having sex for themselves versus having sex for a camera. Oftentimes, the latter is meant to suggest the sexual dynamics being shown rather than document them. Consider the example of driving. Your buddy can show you pics of the mods he made to his new car. You can watch videos of cool cars on Youtube. You can watch Nascar. You can watch Fast and Furious 6, coming out this May from Original Film, and all of those media would very different meanings and require some context to understand. Not one of them would be suitable as driver's education. There's a huge difference between professionals doing something to look cool and amateurs doing something to feel good.
Did anyone else notice that the MLNP website has a suggestions section? That could be fun. Porn world- People don't fart. Real world- Someone will fart. Sometimes in your mouth on accident.
I will say one of the negatives of porn is that it makes me think that certain positions are going to be way more awesome and fun than they really are. Its encouraged my diversity in that area but that has also lead to me thinking "man, this actually sucks" as well as "shit, i need to give these professional fuckers more credit."
It's how they increase their staying power. It's good for camera angles and it's really hard to come with a painful leg cramp.
Sex is such a grey area, I think it's impossible for anything like porn to officially 'ruin' it (or, conversely, whatever the opposite of ruining it would be). I think the bolded question is actually a good component of porn though -- a bit of pressure (inspiration would be a better word) to get out of your comfort zone is a good idea in life in general, so why not in sex? This is assuming the pressure is put on by yourself, not your partner(s). Definitely agree with her main point. It's un-healthy/embarrassing/pathetic how stigmatized the issue is, and how little we (society in general) talk about it. There's also a chicken-egg issue here. I'm of the belief that porn reflects a changing culture more than it changes the culture, but that's based almost entirely on personal experience (I remember girls in my early 20's who were just barely on board about giving head at all. Now it's like, "Facial? Well I'd prefer in my mouth, but whatevs." But holy fuck do I hate how she says the word "proclivities".
I can't agree here. Look at the porn era, or even just the internet porn era. Porn has changed the way women groom, the location of where men finish, and the amount of fuckable holes a lady has. Those things have changed because of porn, not because society has suddenly decided that they're cool with the aforementioned.