At the end of my summer associateship at Generic Biggish Manhattan Law Firm, we were getting our final reviews/job offers, and most of us got our offers early in the day. Then hours of silence from the partners. One girl left, and she was the one who most had something to worry about. So, as close of business is closing in, we get an associate whose voice she wouldn't recognize to make a call from a conference room (caller ID would show this), and just said something like "Would you please join me and Partners So-and-So for a few minutes..." And then we booked it, so she would just find an empty conference room. We didn't get to see the look on her face, but there was enough hysterical reaction left over when she got back to her office that I think we still got our fill of hilarity. Also, when I find out that people with blogs are keeping a close watch on their traffic stats, I'll put in obnoxious search terms in to Google and click all the links to their site that come up, so it looks like a lot of people are searching for "Is Dr. Rob a male homosexual?" or something similar.
Holy shit -- what a microwave! The battery from a cordless phone is no problem, but drop in a honey bun and it goes to shit? Are you sure that wasn't GE's Macrowave?
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Packed my buddy's deodorant stick with cream cheese and smoothed it out to make it look natural. Obviously this only works with certain types of deodorant. The results are hilarious.
If you really want to fuck with a life, try this little Charm School number out: 1 Screw-top jar 1 Raw chicken leg 1 Glass of milk. Put milk and chicken in jar, slightly twist lid shut. Eventually, the decomposition gas will force the jar open and the worst smell YOU WILL EVER IMAGINE will fill the open void. Hide well. Change name.