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Lorena did it all wrong

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by dixiebandit69, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    I've been thinking about this all day, and I've thought about the loss of penis-function on many occasions in the past (but I was thinking of it more along the lines of "What if I got paralyzed from the waist-down/neck-down?").
    I do think that life could be worth living after something like that happening, though it will definitely be something I will miss and it won't be easily replaced.

    I guess because I'm a mechanic, I was thinking about the possibilities of a mechanical penis as a replacement.
    I wouldn't be able to feel anything, but at least I would be able to please a woman.
    But then again, I still have hands and a mouth. But some women crave cock. So what would be available out there?
    This was about what I had in mind:
    [​IMG]


    After doing a quick image search under "Mechanical penis/cock," it turns out there is a whole industry of "fucking machines."
    This is more like what is out there right now:
    [​IMG]


    That, or you could wear a heated, vibrating strap-on.
     
  2. Lasersailor

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    Ha! You all mocked me when I said that corporal punishment was a good idea. I'm just going to go ahead and pre-accept any apologies coming my way.
     
  3. MoreCowbell

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    Everyone's already covered the "What the fuck woman, I'm gonna kill you!" angle, so I'll go ahead and be lame.

    There goes your ability to have a normal relationship. Perhaps if you were a gay bottom, but otherwise, you're fucked. I mean, if you're unable to have ANY sexual activity down there...what are the odds of maintaining a healthy relationship? Have to imagine that'd be lonely as a motherfucker.
     
  4. Subito

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    Time to practice scissoring.
     
  5. toejam

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    Walking on a beach in Greece I saw a guy with just balls. Honestly, it's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. It didn't even fully register until I got far away from it, when the girl I was walking with asked if I also noticed the guy with just balls. She was also keen to point out they were really big balls. Totally weird.

    I think, if I were hypothetically able to get over the shock of having no penis and just a pair of testicles, I'd probably surprise people on the beach with them too.

    Although I do like dixiebandit's robot penis idea. You could have a huge career in terminator-themed porn. "My penis is a cybernetic organism, living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. Come with me if you want to live."
     
  6. RCGT

    RCGT
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    If my wacky wacky willy was taken away from me, I'd first shout "NOOOOOOOOOO" and shake my fists at the sky in my best Darth Vader impression. Then I'd use all the angst and hatred this trauma generated to turn my soul completely black, becoming a ruthless egomaniacal bastard in my quest for corporate and political power. (I would disguise this from the public, of course - I am led to believe that the lack of a penis confers superlative acting ability and mass adoration - cf. Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom). Once I had achieved a great level of political success, I'd tear down everything in my power and burn the whole establishment to the ground while grinning and absentmindedly resting my hand on my prosthetic plastic peter.

    Am I doing this right?
     
  7. madamsquirrel

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    What concerns me most about the wiki link is that most of the penises were cut off with scissors. Does this mean the Asian stereotype is true? I don't think scissors would work on the American members I have seen. Is this why American women use knives?
     
  8. slothers

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    And imagine if you were to have the "phantom penis". It would be similar to individuals having their limbs amputated and dealing with sensations of still having them operable. I'm guessing that you would probably feel an erection starting to happen, and then be promptly confused / suicidal that penis be gone.

    I would try to keep living but honestly, I just don't think I would want to.
     
  9. rbz90

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    Murder. Ok maybe I would not murder her, but maim for sure. Honestly, I'm 20 years old if my dick got cut off right now I can think of nothing worth living for. I won't have kids, I won't fuck anymore, my hormones would be all fucked up and I probably won't even be the same person anymore. Also I'm incredibly petty when it comes to smaller things so I'm thinking in this situation I would be able to turn the other cheek. I know some people will present the " Revenge would not bring your manhood back." Well no, but it will do the next best thing which is let me know the person that did it is not having a good time either. Misery loves company as they say.

    Or you know....fuck it, since the hard part would have already been done for me I might just take it all the way and become a woman. A 6'2 205lb woman.
     
  10. lust4life

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    That story reminds me of the second-worst blowjob I ever got.
     
  11. Renholder

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    What would I do? Probably go back to school and get my doctorate, devote my life to science, cure cancer, and bring world peace.

    NOT WORTH IT!
     
  12. captainjackass

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    reminds me of this classic comic strip

    [​IMG]