I get a good number of assumptions based on the way I look (6'3, black, etc.): 1.) That I sell weed. I get asked by strangers a couple times a month if I'll sell them weed. I barely ever smoke, even. 2.) That I want to have sex with men. I get invited to an inordinate amount of MMW threesomes. And straight up propositioned by guys on the street. Fuck you for blaming me, I really love booty shorts, and I should be able to wear them in peace. 3.) That I listen to rap/hip-hop. This is true. 4.) That I'm a whore. This is debatable. 5.) (If they're racist) That I'm going to be inarticulate, big-penised, basketball-playing, unemployed, thief. Only 2 of those things are true.
I'm 28, and people often tell me I look like I'm 23-24. My younger brother on the other hand, is 25 and looks like he's well into his 30's. High school was always fun when I had to get my 14 year old brother to buy me cigarettes.
Because I have dark hair and dark eyes, and am incurably shy, people think I am a super bitch at first sight. A 17-year-old super bitch, according to every doorman and bartender I've ever met. Also because I am a girl and not pushing 300lbs, people refuse to believe that I am a huge computer/video game nerd.
I'm 23 and frequently get asked how many kids I have. People assume I'm married for some reason also. When I ask why it turns out I seem older than I am, people say about 30 alot. This has not scared me yet but I'm sure it'll kick in sometime. Probably doesn't help that most of my friends are 27-30. Funny change though, two years ago I couldn't think about going near alcohol without getting carded.
Since I'm solitary, physically intimidating (a well built 6' 200 lbs), and have a natural scowl that makes me look like I'm ready to kill someone, people (especially girls) have told me that when they first saw me they thought I was some deranged serial killer, hence my nickname Dahmer. Instead I'm goofy, laid back, and a teddy bear. Looking like a serial killer does have its perks though, I rarely get shit from people unless they're my friends and people generally don't get in my way.
People generally assume I'm gay. God only knows why; I'm lispless and dress like shit. Conversation with a girlfriend: Me: "Hey, can we talk for a minute?" Girlfriend: "OH MY GOD. You're gay, aren't you? It's okay, I thought this was coming for awhile." Me: "...what the fuck are you talking about?" I had been dating her for a year at this point. Almost as bad as... Conversation between my friend's mom and step-mom: Step-mom: "I think Kyle is depressed. Do you think he's gay?"* Mom: "No, definitely not. Why would you think that?" Step-mom: "Well, have you met his friend Dan?" That's right, people use me as evidence to determine the sexuality of others. Gee, I never thought Bob took it in the ass, but I saw him talking to that really fruity kid from down the street. Must have been wrong. I can only hope that I'm ruining my friends' chances at getting laid too. It's not just people who've met me either. I can't go to the damn mall without getting hit on. I'm going to have to start wearing a sign on my ass that says "Not gay, sorry." *I really love the logic behind this statement
I'm a métis, and I'm close to looking like a full-blood Indian. That labels me as every fucking stereotype you can imagine. Just by looking at me people can tell I'm a wife-beating, Lysol drinking, welfare abusing, filthy, fuckin' junkie. I mean it's obvious, isn't it? I understand prejudice, and I understand where it comes from. I also understand that it takes a whopping 10 minutes to get over that shit, grow the fuck up, and act like an adult. Stereotypes are usually based on fact, but they are the exceptions and not the rules.
I am often mistaken for a gangbanging drug dealer! Partially because I am a well manicured, Latino, who has friends in every social circle. I can move effortlessly between crowds of well to do young businesspeople and the more sinister looking mexi/black "gangster" crowd. due to this, I get requests from both parties to "hook them up". everything from cocaine to marijuana, from vicodin to heroin! maybe it's because I prefer to wear a nicely starched dickies workshirt when I go out, as opposed to a neatly ironed armani dress shirt! I don't sell drugs, but if most of you saw me in a bar, you wouldn't believe it!
I'm about 6' even, brown hair usually short with green eyes and a baby face. I have an athletic build, though im not even mildly athletic. I'm rarely seen without a cigarette. I'm not ugly, by any means. People usually think im a wimp and will take a good shit talking. WRONG. I usually show up most people that step to me. I really dont like to talk myself up, but i guess this would be the place to do it So yeah I've put my share of college kids in their places.
Oh, is this the Poem Thread? Well, allow me to retort. There once was a guy named Bouchedag Who posted too much and then just bragged About his height and his face And how he puts kids in their place We don't use smiley faces here, and this is absolutely, positively not the place to talk yourself up, Uncle Rico. No one cares. See how I threw you that curveball at the end? I'm mad good at this art shit.