I've come to the conclusion that nearly every great thing/experience that has happened to me has been the result of me telling myself "fuck it, what's the worst that can happen?" These things include, but are not limited to: - buying my first house at 19 - switching colleges - switching majors to public speaking - asking my now-wife for her phone number (she was waaayyyy outta my league) - on multiple occasions: offering up myself for tasks/jobs at work for which I knew I did not, at the time, have the skill to achieve - putting my house up for rent at 21 and moving into a new place in the country - every vacation I have ever taken (spent out of my comfort zone, though spent wisely and the experiences were incredible) - getting our fourth dog from the animal shelter I know that beer lowers this threshold for "fuck it"-ness, but it also lowers the threshold for what constitutes "acceptable risk." Some of the worst decisions/experiences I've made in life have come when my "acceptable risk" level went higher than my threshold for "fuck it, what's the worst that could happen?" I'm not saying that beer was involved in any of the major decisions, but I'm not saying it wasn't involved in the initial formation of them, either. The common phrase for this is "liquid courage." Focus: Liquid courage. What has it made you do? What was the outcome? Alt. Focus: Everyone has had one (or many) of those "I swear I'm never drinking again" moments. Usually they come the morning after. What happened when it happened to you?
No risk, no reward. Every job I've ever had was a result of firing off resumes while drunk. I'm way under-qualified for my position and I only got a nod for an interview based on a creative cover letter I wrote. Bump.
Focus: Grabbed and kissed my now girlfriend out of nowhere. It was fucking retarded, and she looked at me like I was an idiot before saying "Oh well." We've been dating for more than a year now, so I guess it worked out. Alt-Focus: Got plastered on a Sunday night during MOS school. I was 19, and we had PT at 4:30 the next morning. Monday morning rolls around, and I'm so hungover that I'm puking just getting out of bed. We're standing in the formation, and the staff sergeant sees me swaying, absolutely miserable and dreading the upcoming run. He was very enthusiastic. "PFC Omegaham! Good morning!" "...good morning, staff sergeant." "Are you sick?" "...no." "I think you look really sick. Do you have the Irish flu?" "What?" "The Irish Flu. You know, Eau de Jack Daniels? Demon Rum?" "...yes, staff sergeant." "How old are you, Omegaham?" "19." "Outstanding. You can stand right over here." So, while everyone else went on a run, I got to hang out with this guy. We did a pretty simple workout on the beach - sprint 100 yards, do 10 Burpees, crawl 20 yards, repeat. Back and forth, back and forth. I was crawling in my vomit and crying while he gave a very enthusiastic lecture on how being drunk and stupid is the wrong way to go through life. Probably the worst day ever. Best way to cure a hangover, though; I didn't even have a headache afterward.
focus and alt-focus: made jello shots with 3 cups of banker's club and one box of jello mix. i did some awesome karaoke, went running through the mud behind my apartment complex just because it was there and we thought it would be fun, found out you can fit four people into the shower of a university housing apartment, and slept with a guy i had a huge crush on, but didn't think i was in his league. i had an awesome night, but i had a 3 day irish flu and didn't drink again for nearly 2 weeks.
johnny knoxville was asked in a reddit ama how he prepares for a stunt that he knows is going to result in physical harm, and his reply is basically my life philosophy. you take a deep breath and say fuck it. i don't think i've ever had a drunk courage moment that i wouldn't have had sober other than maybe loosening up a little to talk to strangers. almost all the dumb/dangerous/etx shit i've ever done was done completely sober. worst never drinking again moment was when i was about 21 or 22. i'd been a heavy drinker for a few years and was from a long line of heavy drinkers. i went to a party and put away a full 1 liter bottle of absolute citrus and most of a second one. we were playing drinking games, and i ran out of mixers after the first bottle so was swigging shitty flavoured vodka out of the bottle. i was on my feet and obviously drunk, but not a particular mess when my friend drive me home. then i passed out in the shower, avoided drowning in the tub by inches because my arm was over the edge, flooded the apartment. my roommate came within inches of breaking the door down with a giant axe he bought for medieval reenactment. i couldn't hold food down for days afterward and other than food poisoning, was the sickest i've ever been. when i tried to drink a few weeks afterward, my tolerance was gone. my body knew that i couldn't be trusted, do at two beers i was on the floor. being an egotistical little shit, an a slow learner, i couldn't handle the shame of being a lightweight - so i started doing drugs instead.
alt focus: i got drunk about a week before halloween and already had my costume. i had a party at my apartment and threw everyone out at 2 a.m. because i was too drunk to stay up. instead of my normal routine of passing out for ten hours i woke up an hour later and put on my scream costume to go surprise my friend. i drove over completely shit faced and pounced through the door making slurred threats in parallel to the movie franchise. then i decided i needed some cigarettes and dragged him into the car and drove over to a gas station that is normally crawling with cops. full costume. full on scream 'i'm going to get you' threats to random customers. then i got lost on my less than a mile drive back and started driving on the university football field. according to my friend i told him that the city was retarded for not putting a road there. i'm still afraid of my keys when i drink. how the fuck i didn't get arrested i'll never know. i vaguely, and i emphasize vaguely remember the night and all the stuff i was saying in the costume was meant to be a joke, but at the time i had no idea of the implications. i was that drunk. according to the guy i was with i kept laughing and no one understood what i was saying. probably the most embarrassing night of my life. glad i was wearing a mask.