Vanity Fair claims that the upper echelons of the church of Scientology auditioned wives for Tom Cruise back in 2004. Aside from the general creepiness of this - and perhaps laws being broken when it comes to the clergy (if Scientology has such) pimping out their members - it made me think of an interesting question. If you had to interview potential spouses, what would your questionnaire look like? What questions would you ask?
There are so many different things I'd have to cover to figure out if someone is a match for me that any all-encompassing survey I'd make would be pages and pages long. Frankly, I'd just keep it simple. Question 1: True or False. You would like to answer a lengthy questionnaire that will establish your worthiness as my potential partner. If you chose True, see question 2. If False, see question 3. Question 2: This isn't a question, actually. I've left while you read this. Question 3: Would you like to go grab some food and get to know each other like real people?
How well, and how often, do you fuck? Can you built shit? Are you okay with a woman who, outside of her career, has little ambition to do more than drink, fuck and watch sports? (Read also: Are you okay with a woman who probably isn't even half as domestic as your mother is/was?)
1) Are you easily offended by sarcasm? 2) Do you work out because you like to or because you feel you're supposed to? 3) Are you obsessed with that little blue box from Tiffany's? (If yes, it was lovely to meet you, the door is behind you)