Limericks

I always heard this one:

There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
She smelled like shit,
She was missing a tit
Just think of the money he saved.

 

One from Melbourne, Australia

There was once a lady from Prahran.
That jumped onto a Melbourne tram.
The dirty conductor, stripped her and fucked her.
And now she is pushing a pram.