I'm about as trashed as five men but not as shitfaced as I should be and I just saw something that triggered some funny stuff. Limericks are great and should be spread around. here are some dirty ones i know. There once was a young man from caldir, Who was fucking the maid on the stair, On the 53rd stroke, The bannister broke, So he finished her off in midair. Once was a young man from leeds, Who swallowed a packet of seeds, Tufts of grass, Came out his arse, And his dick was covered in weeds. Focus: What are the funny, dirty, wrong limericks you know coming into St Ptricks day.
The grandson of old Davy Crockett Was propelled down the road by a rocket The force of the blast Sent his balls up his ass And his dick was found in his pocket
Classic: There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so large he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin If my dick were a cunt I would fuck it EDIT: The guy from XKCD set up this limerick page: <a class="postlink" href="http://limerickdb.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://limerickdb.com/</a> Some really good ones there.
There was a young plumber from Bree Plumbing his girl, by the sea she said "Stop you plumbing, someone is coming!" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"
Courtesy of my grandmother: On the chest of a barmaid from Sale were tattooed all the prices of ale. Whilst on her behind, for the sake of the blind, was precisely the same, but in Braille.
My middle school principal was named Dr. Pass. The following limerick was created about him: Dr. Pass had balls made of brass They clang together, Causing stormy weather, And lightning shot out of his ass.
There once was a girl from Madras Who had the most marvelous ass It wasn't rounded and pink, like you'd usually think Instead, it just ate leaves and grass
The best limerick ever: There once was a man from Benglave, who found a dead whore in a cave. He said, "How disgusting," "But needs only dusting." "And think of all the money I'll save!" Funny and educational.
I fucking love dirty Limericks. A randy marsupial named Reeves Spent some time with the whore's 'tween their knees When they'd asked him for money He'd say "Listen honey A koala eats bushes and leaves."
There once was a girl from Toledo, Who found something small in a speedo. She hopped on it twice, Found it quite nice, Then turned around and thanked Don Vito.
I once knew a man from Nantucket Actually, you know what, fuck it. I'm not wasting my time Making up a lame rhyme. You guys can just go suck it.
I always heard this version: There once was an old hermit named Dave, who kept a dead whore in his cave. Though he kept her on ice, she didn't smell very nice But think of the money he'll save.
There once was a woman from Hortense Who's breast were so big they're immense On a jolly day of soccer she kicked her left knocker And it flew right over the fence
There once was a man from Goloshem Who took out his testes to wash 'em His mother said Jack If you don't put 'em back I'll step onthe bastards and squash 'em
Johnny, Johhny, puddin' pie, Jacked-off in his girlfriend's eye, When her eye was glued and shut, Johnny fucked that one-eyed slut.
Told to me by an old scotsman a friend worked with. There once was a woman from Wales Who's diet was horse shit and snails When she got sick of these She fed on the cheese That she scratched from her snatch with her nails. There was a fair maiden named Jill Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill They found her vagina In North Caralina And bits of her tits in brazil.
There once was a man named Jocket, who stuck his balls in a socket. A son of a bitch turned on the switch and Jocket went up like a rocket.