Driving on the freeway on Friday somebody drove right up behind me flashing his (or her) lights at me and shit. I got all flustered because it was heavy traffic and moving just too fast to maneuver. I finally got over and the person passed me honking. I did not recognize the car. I pulled off the road to see if a tail light was out or if I were dragging a dead animal: nothing. It is a mystery. FOCUS: Tell us about the little unsolved mysteries in your life.
What the fuck are those two little black dots that are everywhere I look, but when I try to get a look at them, they quickly dart away?!?!?!
The blur is the result of debris from the vitreous casting a shadow on the retina. The spot is the image formed by a deposit of protein drifting about in the vitreous, the clear jelly-like substance that fills the middle of the eye. Yeah, it's a slow day at work...
I'll never for the life of me be able to figure out why melted ice tastes so much better than just regular water. Whats that? You say they taste the same? HORSESHIT. Go and make yourself a glass of ice water, and drink it down. Then, set the glass aside and drink it later when the ice is halfway melted. It tastes different, doesn't it? And I don't know why, but I love that shit.
-Why did my parents tell me that not wearing enough clothing would cause pneumonia? Do they not know how that works? -Who the fuck is Lomax and why does he keep calling me in the middle of the night? -Where did my dear Mutsy go when I lost him as a boy?
Just to get it out of the way: you're clearly not as bright and capable as you think, since you ended up where you did. Occam's Razor ftw. Focus: Why does a dog that just had stomach surgery insist on trying to lick her giant still-healing incision?
Why is is that occasionally when I have a do or die shit, I can manage to hold it, and then hours later, I don't have to shit any more? My theory: There are shits that teleport from person to person, intestine to intestine looking for an exit, and if you don't release the shit, it moves on to the next person, trying to find an escape. Ever been midway through a normal shit, and suddenly your asshole opens up and unleashes hell, and is then back to normal? You happened to be on the toilet at the right time for a teleport shit.
I don't think this qualifies as a "little" mystery, but I am convinced that my friend and I were sucked into an alternate dimension in New Jersey when we were in high school. We got lost and had no idea how and called our dads and neither of them could find anything about the town we were in or any of the roads we could see on the internet or maps or anything. We eventually made it back to New York, but to this day I wonder where the hell we were and how we got there.
Here ya go Audrey http://www.weirdnj.com/, this may expain some things for you...or maybe not, but interesting none the less.
Why did my cat take a shit right next to his litter box last night? Why does the German version of Santa Claus put the bad children in a sack and beat them with a stick instead of giving them coal? Why does my female neighbor not shave her armpits?
Where did all my clothes from high school go? I've searched all over my parents house and they are not there. My mom did not give them away. My sister did not steal them. All I know is, I went to college and they all disappeared.
Where did my razor go? It stays in the bathroom. The bathroom is clean and uncluttered. It has vanished and I am using razor heads with no handle.