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Let's Make-a Fun Sexy Time!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, Dec 13, 2010.

  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    A TiB member complains:

    It's no secret* that sexy-time is often an enjoyable, pleasurable experience. However, different encounters can involve widely different kinds of enjoyment. Hate-fucking your ex-boss with the Fran Drescher voice is good in a completely different way than the thrill you get doing it in the back of an ice-cream truck.

    FOCUS: What we're curious about in this thread, however, is what makes sexy-time fun for you, as opposed to simply carnal. Any tips for the rest of us?

    * Except perhaps to Durbanite
     
  2. iczorro

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    Not to start the thread off on a disturbingly off kilter (to everyone but our S&M friend) topic, but when I was 20, I dated a 32 year old for a couple months. She taught me most of what I know about not only how to please a woman, but sexuality in general. The one caveat was, she liked to be choked. Like, not in a hard, serious, rape-choke kind of way, she just liked to have a light grasp on her throat while she was being fucked.

    My question for the girls is, A. How common is this amongst you and your friends, that you know of (discounting Pinkcup, who works with sexual predators and can't be expected to like that), and B. if you like it (or don't) what is a guy supposed to do before he tries that?

    I was never completely comfortable with it, but over time I got used to it. It seems some girls can't do without it. I'm trying to figure out how to tell.
     
  3. scootah

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    I'm not going to mention how common it is among my friends, because I acknowledge that they're a skewed sample. But seriously, this isn't something that you guess about. Before you seriously consider that kind of sexual contact - you should clearly negotiate to find out if that's ok, and determine how your partner is going to withdraw consent if something goes wrong and her airway happens to be obstructed...

    Unless of course you like jail and the taste of Bubba's dick when he finds out that you're in prison for rape.

    Fun for me covers a pretty diverse and exotic range of activities. But all of them revolve around a connection with the person I'm playing with a sense of joy and exploration with the person (or people) I'm with. There's not a PUA formula for finding someone who makes you shine and brings you joy and laughter. Chemistry and connection isn't something you manufacture or fabricate - it's just something you need to learn to recognize and act on when you find it.
     
  4. iczorro

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    I think what makes sexy time fun for most people will be adequately covered and then some by Scootah. But we can keep it to light and sexy topics if you want.

    Scootah, you ever fucked three teenage blonds at once? If so, photos and stories would be appropriate. (sarcasm, YAY)

    Oh, and please define PUA for the uninitiated (such as myself).

    Unfortunately, I feel I've abruptly turned this into another "Ask Scootah" thread.
     
  5. Frebis

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    How long have you been around these boards? PUA = Pick Up Artist (Mystery from that retarded VH1 show). It originated from that stupid fucking book The Game.

    My new girlfriend also like to be choked, and degraded during sex. She likes me to spank her and call her dirty. Yet the balloon knot is off limits. You would think that area would be fair game with all the other things going on.
     
  6. Pato

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    Wasn't that the Neil Strauss book? Sorry for the off-topic.

    It's different for everybody. I feel it mostly depends on the personality. Don't just assume people are into erotic asphyxiation. Don't assume they're not into it either. Communication is key with these things.

    What makes it fun for me is the intimacy, I guess. There's nothing quite like being able to know you're thinking and feeling the exact same things when looking into each other's eyes.

    Uh.. I meant slappin' dem every chance I gets, yo!
    God damn it.
     
  7. Pinkcup

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    I don't work with sexual predators (I hope? How would I know unless they've been convicted?), but PinkCandy does. Also, I fucking LOVE being lightly choked. But, like Wise Master Scootah said, asking first is required.

    Focus: Role playing. I am so, so into this. I think it's because I've never actually grown out of the whole let's-dress-up-and-play-pretend phase.

    -I'll be a schoolgirl (of legal age), you be my teacher. Or my tutor. Or my older boyfriend.

    -I'll be a librarian, you be someone making a ruckus in my library. Or in need of assistance in the erotic fiction section.

    -I'll be a secretary, you be my boss. Or I'll be your boss, and you be my secretary/assistant.

    -I'll be violating some minor traffic law, you be a police officer waiting to catch me and punish me.

    Tips? Be willing to talk through some awkward banter if this is something you're unfamiliar with. I generally have a fairly specific scene in mind that I want acted out, but don't freak out if you think you're doing it "incorrectly." I'll steer you towards what I want, so don't worry. Just keep the dialogue flowing and semi-believable. It'll get cheesy sometimes, but when it's good...oh god, it's good.
     
  8. Frank

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    I don't know about that, probably the most important lesson I've learned in life is that it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
     
  9. mya

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    Maybe it is just me, but the first guy to put his hands around my neck and squeeze without a conversation first is going to get a swift knee to the balls.
     
  10. Fracas

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    Water. Nothing gets me off like licking and stroking that pussy until it's drenched, taking a quick shower together, and getting back in bed without toweling off. (I'll throw those sheets in the dryer later and we can pass out warm and cripsy.) If we surf or swim in the ocean together for a few hours? Forgive me, baby - I'd love to, seriously, but I just got a part-time job tearing up sidewalks with my cock.

    I also enjoy slapping ass.

    I like alternating aggression and tenderness in bed, switching back and forth from pounding the shit out of a tight wet bitch to making cosmic love that realigns the spheres and then back again. I love role-playing, dirty talk and dirty screaming. I always shoot for a lease-breaker.

    And I enjoy raw-doggin' it.
     
  11. Pink Candy

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    I'm the former interviewer of sexual predators. Now I focus on drug addicts. I think Ms. Cup would probably put her foot way far up some deviant's ass before I would. I miss that old job tho.

    Don't make assumptions about the type of sexual play I enjoy. I've been choked before (lightly) and I had kind of enjoyed it, but it was a one time thing I wasn't really interested in repeating. Matter of fact, I've done pretty much anything sexually under the sun that didn't involve children, animals or bathroom matters.

    Right now I am lusting over a hot DA in the courthouse where I go to punish naughty addicts. Whenever I fantasize about what sex would be like with him, it's always a very tender and sweet kind of encounter. Lots of fondling, kissing, oral, sweet sex.

    When I fantasize about my husband, I think of being viciously hatefucked. Salty language, ass slapping, hair pulling. Call me a whore and say I've been a bad girl encounter.

    I have no idea why the DA gets the sweet sex and the husband gets the slave sex. It's very odd. Either way, you want tender sex, we can do that. You want nasty sex? Let's do it.

    Oh, and if you think me being sexually open minded means I somehow identify with sexual predators, you are way way way off. I have to put that disclaimer because I know there are some here that would automatically jump to that conclusion.
     
  12. Samr

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    Since the day I started having sex with my wife I went by one abiding rule: I don't care what you do, as long as I get mine.

    That being said, I like it best when I can tell she's enjoying it too. Let's get some toys out before sex. Go ahead, have a few orgasms yourself first. I have massage oil, incense, the whole nine. If she's moaning making noise, toes are curling, all the better. 4 times out of 5 I'm down for passionate loving sex, and as far as positions go whatever feels the best for her.

    And 1 time out of 5 I'm bending her over the bed, slapping her ass and pulling her hair and completely dominating her.

    As long as I get mine.
     
  13. lostalldoubt86

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    Sex is fun for me when a guy takes his time. I've slept with a few guys who instantly strip down and get right to it, which is OK I guess, but there was one guy who spent half an hour on foreplay, and it was the best sex I ever had.
     
  14. Bryan

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    I like it best when I can bang a bunch of girls I haven't previously plundered in a short period of time with minimal investment in each.

    Am I doing this right?
     
  15. kuhjäger

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    The wife has recently started to be more into rough stuff, especially if she is stressed. She is a manager in an order fulfillment center, and this is the busiest time of the year, she is stressed.

    However, I have to be very careful. I am 190 and she is 116lbs, so what might not seem like much force to me could crack her in half, so I limit it to spanking. She might be tiny, but her ass is pretty rugged.

    Unfortunately if that isn't enough she will bite herself, and once she slapped her own face. I am really sensing that there is some sort of issue.
     
  16. Disgustipated

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    Three things for me, predominantly, in order of importance:

    1. Responsiveness
    2. Naughtiness
    3. Novelty

    If the girl isn't into it in a measurable way, I might as well zip up and go watch tv. A beautiful starfish is still a starfish. I'd rather watch porn and jerk off than fuck an unresponsive woman. This was an issue with one of my exs in that she had zero sex drive until I manually got her past a certain point (usually a tongue, two fingers and something that took AAs). I would often stop before that stage because even though I knew she'd eventually warm up, my mood was killed and I'd lose interest.

    I like naughty (that doesn't mean I like insane or illegal). If I have to explain that, you're not going to get it. If you do get it, are female and like your men with an Australian accent, the PM button is this way.....

    Lastly, I get bored doing the same thing over and over. It's still nice, but it's boring. I like to mix it up and do something new.
     
  17. Danger Boy

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    I've got some better ideas:

    -I'll hide an ounce of pot in my colon, and then try to cross the "border", which is actually where the carpet meets the linoleum in my house. You can be the female Border Patrol agent with something to prove who gives me a cavity search and then beats me with a baton while I'm handcuffed to the stove.

    -You'll be a city cop out on patrol (we can just pretend your car is a cop car). You spot a deranged man having sex with a traffic cone (me) on the side of the road. You'll arrest me, make me register as a sex offender, and then beat me with a baton while I'm handcuffed to the tree in my front yard.

    -I'll be a schoolgirl (underage) and you can be the school janitor, Owen. You'll be minding your own business, masturbating in the janitors' closet (you can use a strap on for a prop), when I walk in and catch you ejaculating into a mop bucket. This angers you, so you make me call my parents* and tell them what a sneaky little twat I am. Then you beat me with a mop handle while I'm handcuffed to the principal's desk.
    * I gave them a heads up, so it's cool. they'll know it's just pretend.

    -You be the Captain and I'll be Tenille. In the middle of singing "Love Will Keep Us Together", I mess up the lyrics. This pisses you off, so you beat me with a microphone stand while I'm handcuffed to your piano. For the duration of the beating I'll be singing "Do That To Me One More Time".
     
  18. Volo

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    I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm hard.
     
  19. tntnikki

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    For me, fun comes into it when my partner is up for the unexpected. Spontaneous " you want to see how far we can get before the elevator stops?" scenarios and other things that rely on creativity instead of repetitive textbook "insert part a into part b". And they HAVE to be able to laugh- because there is just no fun to be had when they get all uptight if a stray elbow winds up in their nostril during a particularly tricky position. I like it when people are willing to try out something new, even if it is ridiculous or outside their comfort zone (I assume this is how people figure out they are into furries). All day marathons with breaks for fuel are most welcome, as well.Bonus points if you can stretch it out over a weekend and your friends and family have to call to ensure you are alive and well.


    Like Scootah, my take will be biased due to heavy involvement in the BDSM scene. Most people I know like breathplay games. And he's given some sound advice- don't jump in by cutting off all her air- but mess around the edges a little with other control and manipulation play and check her responses. Also, its worth remembering that there's no need (in fact is it preferable if you don't) to make her turn purple out of the gate- just try lightly encircling her throat while kissing her to check reception. Save the squeeze for intention for next time if she seems positive about it- when you encircle her throat next time make her to beg for it.
     
  20. iczorro

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    This made me laugh harder than most episodes of the League, which I find hilarious.

    Kudos, sir.

    As for what I like, well, I described the girl who gave me most of my sexual education, and it seems that what we learn growing is what we like.

    I'm prone to be dominant, and I really like a girl that has punishment issues. Spanking, hair pulling, dirty talk, etc. Your garden variety "middle America fetish" stuff, I'm all in.

    Never really been with anyone that played with the idea of me being submissive. I'm a bit curious about it.

    Most of the time, my preference is the hard fast and dirty, but every once in a while, I really dig the slow, sensual, look-into-each-others-eyes-the-whole-time thing. Best sex I ever had was like that, although that's probably because I was head over for that girl.