I have to go with the gun. Use your imaginations, people! You could easily make $65,000 with a stun gun. Go to some preppy neighborhood once a week, knock out some rich fuck and rob his ass (wallet, car, home... the list goes on). And why choose the lawyer when if you get pulled over by a cop for speeding, you can just KO him before he can run your plates? The once a week stipulation annoyingly limits the gun's use, but if you plan ahead, you should be fine.
The entertainment value of the gun would get old quick. The money would be nice... but not as nice as being able to park in front of the fire hydrant right across from my apartment every day. It would be like having my own personal parking space, and when you live where I do, that's GOLD.
Without a shadow of a doubt I'd take the money and use it to go travelling for 5 years or so, would be all kinds of awesome. Imagine how many 1Euro Greek Beers you could get with that.
The ray gun. Having the ability to knock stupid people out on a whim is priceless. My days would pass so much easier if I could knock out the people I work with every time they say something ignorant.
The lawyer. I already have one on retainer and will likely need another one since my current lawyer is starting to specialize in shadier areas of representation (bribing officials to get drunk drivers/drug dealers off) and doing less and less in the other areas where I use him. One super lawyer to take care of all of it? Yes please.
I'd have to go with the gun. I'd get the $65K in no time with that, and I could then pay my super lawyer to get me off dumb shit I do that the gun can't get me out of. The circle of life, my friends.
I've put a lot of thought in and the lawyer is my winner. -Possession no longer becomes something to worry about -Theft under $5000 in Canada [which you could do plenty of times]; it's lower in the States however -Almost any traffic violation goes away -Not getting charged for drinking in public, or being drunk in public
Given the popular refrain on this board of "don't get a law degree, it's a waste of time," I find it funny that this thread is basically pimping getting a JD.
Yeah, I'm going to have to second this sentiment. I'll take the collie. At least he(she?) is well-groomed. That being said: FOCUS: The gun. Like others have said, $65k is jack shit in the long run, and unless the lawyer saves me from more than $65k in fines and means I don't have to show up for trials, that's kind of worthless. The gun, meanwhile, has a bunch of awesome uses. Here are some, off the top of my head, some more awesome than others: - KO your wife, so she stops bitching at you for 20 minutes. - KO the guy collecting cover charge at a bar - KO that one guy who sits on the one bar stool that breaks them up such that your group of three can't sit there. - KO the cop who's about to pull you over for speeding - KO the annoying coworker who can't shut up about her fucking cat - KO the driver and guards of a security truck, so you can steal all the money out of there - Walk around and randomly KO people just for fun
The lawyer is obviously the only logical choice here. I could get myself out of most anything I could think of doing with the gun and while I go to school and am dirt poor right now, I could probably make several small illegal money gains to make up for not choosing the 65k while having the lawyer keep my record clean. This is one of the more ridiculous polls I have seen on the internet, however.
That's pretty interesting, but I think this is more pimping "let someone else go through the trouble of getting a JD and then take advantage of their services, free of charge". I'm torn between the lawyer and the money, but at the end of the day I think I'd go with the lawyer. At least then I'd have plenty of additions to this thread. The ray gun would be nice, but once a week? If I had something that could do that, I would want to use it way more often. Constantly asking myself whether it's worth using or regretting shooting someone the day before would be torture. Especially since most of the time I'd wind up getting drunk and using it for something stupid.
I would take the gun and my first order of business would be Ballsack. No one calls me a fucking mook.
The lawyer can get you out of trouble in court from theft. He can't stop the angry mob of 7-11 owners from lynching you after being robbed.
No worries for me, I would ray gun you the second week while you were driving and you would die or be horribly injured and you would have no desire or be unable to testify against me. If the local county attorney elected to pursue the case with no witnesses I would wait another week and injure or kill him in the same manner that I killed or injured you. Not bad for a fucking mook.
Ray gun = $$$$ Imagine boxing match, bet on underdog and zap world champ is out for 20 min. Now football, qb drops back on a big play, zap down for a big lose and not coming back (what trainer is going to clear a man who passes out for 20 min). UFC, kickboxing, baseball... I might have to save a couple zaps for my book when he decides to kill me instead of paying... Ray gun all the way. Ray gun = no convictions Wait, key witness in your misdemeanor or felony case doesn't show up on time for your trail, wow who would have thought... Choice is clear.
Shocking Ballsac picked the Lawyer. I'm not picking that because it will just tempt me to bend my morals and integrity. Just an FYI, if Ballsac got the lawyer I would buy stock in whatever company manufactured Rohypnol. I also would have an over under of divorces caused by Ballsac at 7, years it would take him to become a Senator or some other powerfully political persona, 1.5, and years before he became a multimillionaire 3. Illegitimate children, 4 within 5 years. I would take the mutha-fuckin money. Cash is king, know it.
My thoughts exactly. I've somehow avoided crime all my life. People pissing me off is just a fact of life with which I've learned to deal thus far. $65k in the bank free and clear? The wife and I could make one hell of a dent in that mortgage loan. I'm old and boring. Don't judge me.