The Genie of the Lamp, who looks a little bit like Vin Diesel and says "eh" a lot, grants you one of the following: A supernatural lawyer on permanent retainer, who can get you off for any crime up to the level of a misdemeanor for the rest of your life, but cannot help you with felonies. A ray gun that can be used once a week and will knock someone out for 20 minutes with no repercussions to you whatsoever. Some annoying guido asshole blabbing on his Bluetooth in the supermarket while standing in front of the chips you want? Blam, he's out cold for 20 minutes. A one-time cash payment of US $65,000, tax free. Which do you choose, and why?