I posted in the Rant & Rave Thread my own experience with awesomeness, the Praline Bacon. Take maple bacon, finely chopped nuts, and brown sugar, apply nuts / sugar to top of bacon, and fry it, and you have ambrosia along with several thousand calories. Chop into small pieces and mix with vanilla ice cream, and you have Praline Bacon Bit Ice Cream. Ben and Jerry's had better be taking notes. The smoke and salt combines with the sugar, nuttiness, and creaminess to form something otherworldly. Focus: What is the most unhealthy thing that you've eaten, enjoyed, and immediately desired more? Are you still eating it despite the gastric bypass surgery and the stomach staple? Alt-Focus: What is the most unhealthy thing that you've eaten and said "Never again?" Anti-Focus: Is there anything that is healthy and is actually delicious? Sure, it won't beat Praline Bacon, but is there any genuinely healthy food that's tasty to boot?
TiB loves food threads. My favorite "I really shouldn't have done that" was a local burger chain whose signature burger is a hamburger topped with a whole hotlink. It's something you should only eat once.
Alt-Focus: KFC Double Down. When it came out my roommates decided we had to try them. Tasted awful and it came out about as well as it went down.
I made my own McGriddle once. I poured a little bit of syrup into the pancake mix, added scrambled eggs, bacon, and cheese on it. It was dripping with grease, and I instantly regretted it, but I was craving one the next morning something fierce. A food I regretted and never went back was the deep fried Twinky I had at a Ren. Faire I went to one year. I threw up almost instantly from sugar shock.
The McGriddle is such a disgusting concept, but, I will admit it's 25% of the things at McDonald's I will order. And, as someone said above, the double down is gross. I tried it out of morbid curiosity. Similar to the praline bacon, I've had thin spicy sausage links wrapped in bacon, rolled in brown sugar, and then baked. So. Fucking. Good.
The North Carolina state fair has become an annual competition of who can eat the most fried Oreos with my friends. I have eaten 5, after which I lay almost in some sort of state of shock. Most out of my group is 10, which is like 4500 calories or something along those lines. How he isn't dead I have no clue. The best part was the powdered sugar on top. Along the fair lines I have also tried candied bacon, chocolate covered bacon, fried Snickers, fried Twinkies, and many other delicious insta-gut foods. Lucky I'm 6'3'' 165 pounds.
Alt focus: The day before the Chinese New Year break our Ayi (chinese maid) cooked me up some poached fried pig fat. Just a hunk of pig fat that she boiled then fried up with cooking oil with some soy sauce. Nothing worse than eating straight fat. It tasted alright but nothing that would ever keep me coming back. Ive come to realize that these people only have portion control over us, besides that they cook everything in a shit ton of oil (reconstituted from sewage and dumpster run off being the last big scare here) and gobble down just as much fast food and fried foods.
Alt-Focus: The McGriddle, it's too sugary to enjoy the egg and greasy meat, I was so disappointed when I tried it, especially after reading Slingblade's description. Focus: McDonald's sausage egg and cheese biscuit. Holy fucking shit that thing is amazing, it doesn't try too hard with the syrupy bullshit and just nails the perfect combination of greasy sausage, deep fried butter biscuit and nuclear power plant processed egg. I will say though, trying to order sausage egg and cheese on a biscuit there is damn near impossible, it's not a menu option (only sausage and egg biscuit is) so pretty much whenever I order it I have to get it, open it up, realize no cheese is there and then go ask for some, what are they, bishops of health? Along the same lines, I enjoy the burritos there too, but in New England they won't serve it with hot picante sauce, only mild, it makes my blood boil. I probably shouldn't care so much since I only eat there once every two to three months but I feel like it's a personal insult. Anti-Focus: There's one bullet proof way to make healthy food tasty, spice the fucking shit out of it. I despise healthy attempts at Italian food since it's so fucking bland and why I love Asian (especially Indian) food. If you suck at cooking you can add the below hot sauce to anything and it will be magically delicious, I just ran out of it last week and have been getting cold sweats from withdrawal.
FOCUS: Tim Horton's Sausage, Egg, Cheese Biscuit Breakfast sandwich. It is what Frank describes above. Where McDonald's is the heartless bitch of an evil aunt, Tim Hortons is the kindly grandmother more than happy to bury you in tasty unhealthiness. I refuse to think about the calorie count on the thing, but it's pretty damn easy to snarf back two of them in the space of an irregular heartbeat.
Fuck, I can't remember if Tim Horton's was the one, but I remember stopping at a chain in Ohio and getting one of those. It was noticeably better tasting and less healthy than McDonald's, the general consensus between myself and my friends was that the obesity epidemic in the Midwest was no longer a surprise.
When other countries call America fat, they are not fucking joking. Or maybe I need to get out of Michigan...got the roundest motherfuckas I've ever seen up in this piece. Not a good look. Focus: White Castle, knaah mean? That greasy goodness slides down so smooth after blowing a few trees, know what I mean? Damn, a playa gettin hungry just sitting thinking about it.
Thanks. Literally just finished packing one of these away. Substitute the reasonably sized coffee and hashbrown for just an XL coffee, however. Alt-Focus: One of the more "how the fuck did I put that in me" moments was about a year about when we made bacon and cheese log. 1lb cheese, 1lb bacon. Weave bacon into a sheet, shred cheese on. Roll. Top with remaining cheese. Put in oven. It was great....ish. After about the first slice though, you could feel your heart begging you to stop.
While brewing beer this weekend, I discovered the greatest burger ever next door to the brewery: It began with the simple offering of a HALF POUND SAUSAGE PATTY. Screw the flavored boring hamburger. Give me the motherfucking unhealthiest slab of ground meat you can! But, don't stop there. Let's add some mozarella cheese, mushrooms, onions, and pizza sauce. I know what you're saying: Pizza burgers get all mushy, and the bun is the disgusting piece of playdough. This bar decided the best solution to this was to serve the entire thing on TWO LARGE SLICES OF PIZZA! That's right. Instead of a hamburger bun with 200-300 calories, it was served on 2 greasy 650+ apiece slices of pizza. We shared it between 6 people. We all had orgasms.
I give you the "Fattie" 1lb of Bacon ( shown here with regular cut bacon and thick cut Maple ) 1 lb hot spiced sausage cheese, green peppers and onion for filling Weave bacon into a flat square, roll out sausage to match the bacon square, add filling, then start at one end and roll it together, sealing the ends Put on a vertical/horizontal offset smoker for a few hours or until internal temp is 165, I prefer Hickory or Apple wood for smoke. You can thank me later
I have to be honest; praline bacon looks disgusting. Oysters en Brochette. They are available at a few of New Orleans finer dining establishments. (Galatoire's, Antoine's, etc.) Take 6 oysters, wrap them individually in bacon, batter them, deep fry them, and when they're done, drizzle browned butter on top. Keep in mind, this is served as an appetizer.
Focus: Fried chicken from Babe's. There's only two entrees on their menu: fried chicken and chicken-fried steak. Dinner is served family-style and the sides are unlimited and consist of: mashed potatoes, white gravy, creamed corn, and biscuits. There's four of us in my family, but when we go, I order "fried chicken for 5" so I can bring some home. It is by far the best fried chicken I have ever had, but 2X/year is our limit. Crestor can only do so much. Alt. Focus: The fried Twinkie at the state fair. I have no idea what I was thinking. Anti-focus: Roasted turkey and sushi.
As a huge sushi fan I have to admit it's really not that healthy in terms of caloric balance, the rice to fish ratio is insane. I didn't realize how bad it was until I made it myself, but you'd be shocked at how quickly an entire pound of rice will go. Obviously it's not anywhere near the same category as fast food and I wouldn't call it unhealthy, but it's not exactly a good post workout snack or anything.
I've been doing this for years now, it's actually called Bacon Explosion Surprise. Let me make a small recommendation to help enhance your preperation. You know how you always buy more than just 1lb of bacon at a time (and if you're not, then what the fuck is wrong with you?) well, you take some of that extra bacon, fry it up, lightly chop it and toss it in with your cheese, peppers and onions for extra filling, because why wouldn't you fill your bacon with more bacon. Also, another small trick I use is to make a very simple brush on glaze of just honey and water which I apply periodically to A. give a sweet flavor contrast to the saltyness of the bacon and sausage and B. it works as a binder for the bacon and the sausage so that your bacon strips don't start just falling apart.
Focus: The Slopper. My cousins grew up in the birthplace of this delicacy, Pueblo, Colorado, and introduced me to it. A slopper is two hamburger patties served open faced, smothered in green chili, topped with french fries and cheese. There are two places in Pueblo that are well known for the slopper and one was featured on the show Man Vs. Food. In the show he attempts to eat a giant fucking slopper. There are also variations that feature four or six hamburger patties. I'm not sure what the calorie count is on one of these but it's got to be high as hell.
Every fall New England has The Big E fair. It's like a state fair except for all of New England, because were not important enough to have our own. Last year they had something that I had to have once but will never have again. It was a double bacon cheese burger between 2 Krispy Kreme donuts as the buns. I got that with a side of chocolate covered bacon strips and probably got diabetes on the spot. It was the most glorious and disgusting thin I've ever ingested. I love being an American.