Unless you happened to have married a woman who can understand that things do not always go as planned. Then again, I assume most of the gentlemen here marry or are dating women with the coping skills of Snooki, so maybe I'm setting the bar too high.
One of my cousins just got married this past weekend. Paki weddings can be a trying affair since 1) They last at least 4 days, 2) They are dry 3) No relatives will ever stay in a hotel. While I enjoyed the company of family and family friends, I have to admit I'm still recovering from it. For one, since no one says in a hotel, the entire family is in one house...and I have a big family. This means anyone who isn't married with kids gets tossed in the basement with sheets put on carpet to sleep on. I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep a night since there was always someone coughing loudly, going to the bathroom etc. The wedding lasted from Thursday through Sunday night which meant 4 nights of dressing up and doing wedding bullshit. The parties themselves were a good time, but by the end I was just sick of it. Aside from these 4 main parties, different family friends threw a party for the couple each weekend for the previous FIVE WEEKENDS. As is every Saturday for 5 fucking weeks there was wedding bullshit. I didn't attend any of those, thankfully. One of my cousins who attended all the parties mentioned on facebook that she had a total of 8.2 gigs of photos and videos from all the events put together, just from her camera. I'm not sure how much money was spent on all this but I'd have to guess upwards of 40-50 grand. It is just out of control. Luckily, this side of the family isn't so religious so they at least allow music and dancing and such. My mom's side of the family does all this but don't allow any dancing or music if the event isn't segregated by gender. Those are really the worst.
A friend of mine from high school and his wife did the same thing. They were on the Rachael Ray Show and won a second honeymoon with it. The original video of the whole dance at the wedding isn't on youtube (that I can find), but this is an interview with clips of it. The "next up" video is from her and is another segment from the show (they dance there but it's not the original). My cousin got married in a tiny and very very old (1809) chapel - the pews were only about 6 inches deep and you had to sit straight the fuck up. The best man, the groom's brother, had his knees locked and passed out in the middle of it and basically just sat down in his mom's lap - that's how small this place is. She walked down the aisle to Elvis' 'I can't help falling in love with you' and they exited to Van Morrison's 'Brown Eyed Girl'. When/if ever I get married, I'm going to be the worst bridezilla in history according to my mother*. It's not that I envision something over the top (and expensive), I like things simple, but I like them done right. The only things I'm specific about: I do not want people standing when I walk down the aisle, my dad & my brother are to give me away and no singing during the ceremony. I'm thinking 15 minutes tops... let's say our vows, exchange rings and get on to the party (with real food and hard liquor). *I might have asked how to implement a dress code for guests. Don't judge me because not everyone has decent fashion sense.
The entire point of a wedding is to celebrate and mark the start of a life long partnership, so people need to choose the type of ceremony that works for them and their fiancée. This board may be a skewed sample, but all of the guys here thinking that there's something wrong with their bride-to-be if she's not cool with just a bbq may need to change expectations. Nothing wrong with a bbq, I'm from the South after all, but I don't think that a woman (or a man) is unreasonable for wanting more out of their wedding. I have a big family, so although I don't necessarily want a huge wedding, I want to make sure that there's room for everyone. I tend to be a slightly more conservative gal so I want something fairly traditional. White gown, pretty invitations, flower arrangements, professional photographer, and all that. Also, while I totally understand people not liking "bridezillas", a lot of times it isn't because she's a bitch, but because she was trying to save money and planned the entire thing herself. After 6-12 months of planning an event, if something goes wrong, even my most laid back friends were ready to snap. Even a small wedding is a lot to plan and stressful. Honestly, I'll probably get bitchy near my wedding. It's easy to get into a mindset of wanting everything to be perfect. Not just for you, but for your partner, family, and guests. After all, these people shelled out and bought gifts for you two to start your life together, which means that they definitely deserve a great time. My favorite wedding was actually dry, but the wedding itself was short and the food was Southern fare galore. My friend and her (now) husband had waited 3 years to get married and I could tell that it was everything that they wanted. Everyone was just so happy. Worst was probably a cousin's wedding. It was an outdoor wedding and it was raining. Trying to walk on soft or wet ground in heels is hell.
I'll be one of the arrogant pricks that thinks his is the best. The wife and I got married last summer here at the cottage after being common-law for 16 years. It was a very small wedding with only immediate family, 16 people total. We rented 3 cottages from a good neighbour on the lake who owns 80-odd acres so that everyone could spend the weekend and have a good time without worrying about having to drive anywhere. We provided the food and the booze (did the cooking myself); all the guests were expected to do was show up. We had a nice BBQ dinner Friday evening for everyone that made it Friday. The ceremony itself was at 3 on Saturday, on the dock. Back in 2007 I built a new 12 x 16 floating dock to replace our old one, so we were able to accommodate the wife and I, along with our parents and the minister. The rest of the guests were on shore. It turned out to be a beautiful summer day; warm but not hot, with few bugs. My father-in-law walked the wife down from the cottage, "out of the woods", and handed her off to me. We did a short ceremony with the minister, then had our first dance on the dock. We had invited a number of our neighbours on the lake to come witness the ceremony, so most of the pictures of the ceremony have a flotilla of kayaks, canoes and fishing boats in the background. After the ceremony, we got changed and got the food going as guests enjoyed the lake. Did some chicken and bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin in the smoker, a lasagna, corn, and a bunch of different salads. Dinner was out on the front deck, and the weather continued to cooperate. Nice, relaxed, people talking, eating, drinking and just enjoying themselves. A bunch of our neighbours showed up after dinner for drinks and snacks and we basically hung out on the front deck till midnight or so by lantern light. Sunday the only thing we had scheduled was brunch. Some guests went fishing, others took the canoe and kayaks out. We did this not because of cost, but because it was a reflection of who we are and what is important to us. The worst wedding I've been to is my step-sister's (my dad's wife's daughter). She got herself knocked up in grade 12 and the guy decided to do the honorable thing and get married. The ceremony was at this fancy Greek Orthodox church, and was conducted in Greek so pretty much no one had any clue what was going on. After the ceremony we all drove to what could best be described as a Weddings-R-US venue. It was a building with several large reception rooms, linked by hallways, and apparently all they do are wedding receptions. For one low, low price you get the room, the food, the DJ and bar service. The food was simply disgusting. The drinks, a $4 a pop, were served in little plastic cups so small that you'd barely sit down and you'd already be done your drink. About half the guests were friends of the bride and groom, so the room was largely packed with people for whom having their age start with a 2 was still a novelty. This, coupled with the fact that many of them were complete lightweights, pretty much set the tone for the evening. It was like being in a club. After people started falling down on the dance floor, and seeing at least two people just plain passed-out at their table, the wife and I decided to call it an early evening and left around 10:30. We headed out to McDonald's since we were starving haven not eaten the bulk of our meal, then went back to my dad's house to sleep. At around 3:30 am, my dad and step-mom walk in the door. Step-mom is crying. The wife goes to see what's going on. It seems the bride and groom are getting a divorce. Long story short, at some point after we left, bride gets into fight with her mother-in-law. There's some pushing and shoving, you're a bitch, no your a bitch, other people get involved, more pushing, shoving yelling, etc. When I tell this story, the last line is invariably: "...and then the cops showed up". Yup, the wedding place called the cops who promptly shut down the party and kicked everybody out. One cop slipped and fell in someone's puke on the dance floor which no doubt did wonders for his mood. Surprisingly, the bride and groom are still together today. Anyhow, below is a picture taken at my wedding on the dock.