I've always viewed life as a fun, knowledgable but in the end meaningless sideshow that eventually, well... ends. Death scares people, I think mostly because it fucking kills us. It's gonna happen and we can't fight it, no matter how shiney our plastic surgeon makes us. I accept that. Most rational people accept that. The thing I can't accept is why people are so obsessed what happens to their corpse AFTER death. Nowadays, we have all kinds of goofy shit: from people that write their own eulogies to what they call "Talking Tombstones", which are gravestones that have a photo-motion sensor in them that detects people in front of it, and sends a recorded message you left from beyond the grave. What's next, a Vietnamese Dung trap in place of your coffin "as a goof"? I mean, what the FUCK. WHY do people do this? Why do they care? I mean, you're dead. Worms are eating you. Don't you think if people wanted to hear what you said they would have listened to you when you were actually alive? I say take it one step further: have my body rigged up to pop out of the coffin at the funeral like Big Mouth Billy Bass and start singing "Got To Give It Up." But in the end, I don't care. Bury me, burn me, dip me in honey and throw me to the necrophiles I'm dead, I'm gone, I'm a ghost so I'm heading for the women's volleyball team showers. Lates. Focus: Do you care about what happens to your remains? Do you want everyone to wear Hawaiian shirts to your funeral? Or do you plain not give a shit? Alt-Focus: How do you want to "go out"? In your sleep like Flo-Jo or in a blaze of glory like Jon mothafuckin' Bon Jovi?