Pierre McGuire. I really didn't think you would work as a hockey analyst while knowing so little about the game. Being a whiny douchebag with certain Pittsburg players genitalia in his throat and having no idea what a dirty hit is or how delay of game works solidifies this.
Tim Fucking Tebow. Throws for a billion yards, breaks the SEC rushing TD record, junior Heisman trophy, saves himself for marriage. He's too fucking perfect, and it sickens me. He's like a broseph version of Peyton Manning. If he wasn't a gigantic senior who's incredibly quick and has the power of God behind him, I would stomp his virgin ass into the ground.
Top QB at a state school, FLORIDA no less? Yeah, he's had his share of blowjobs. Focus: Brett Favre. He has it coming.
1. How could you hate Rob Dyrdek? He's funny and entertaining, I can't believe anyone would hate him. Screw you ballsack I thought you were cool. 2. Kobe Bryant is a piece of shit, his constant whining, his constant whining, his constant whining, arrogant asshole fucker smirk on his face and his constant whining make him a candidate for big huge ass whooping. I don't see why we can't get Shaq to do it. Ballsack you're cool again.
I know that Dog, the bounty hunter and his asshole wife have alot of fans out there. I don't happen to be one. Someone mentioned some water and an extension cord, I'd also like to add some fertilizer and gasoline to the mix. Jon & Kate both need a serious ass stomping. Mariah Carey needs a beating as does Billy bob Thorton. Dickhead. I could add to this list for quite a bit.
Eli fucking Manning. Fuck you for the Super Bowl, fuck your brother for the AFC Championship game, and fuck your stupid god damned simpleton face.
William Clay Ford and all Detroit Lions fans First, Old Man Ford, sell the team. You obvously don't care if they win. And there's no way they bring in any money. Since Ford Feild is about 10,000 seats less then the Siverdome. You can't make any good personel moves, (coughMattMillencough) bring in unproven shit coaches when you could throw money at Percels, Cower, or Chuckie. Lions fans, you are the most pathetic people ever. Cub fans fuck your fat Moms and rub it in your UAW face. $45 to sit and watch millionares play pee wee football? Lion fan, you go to the games a wear the paper bags over your heads. Wow, great idea, buy tickets and park and drive to lovely downtown Detroit and buy overpriced everything. How about stay the fuck home and show your disapproval? forgot Nick Connon, fuck Nick Cannon
Drew Barrymore. Just looking at her makes me angry. And then she opens her mouth with her stupid voice and annoying lisp and I want to punch her. I really don't know why. She's just annoys the shit out of me.
Joy Behar Whoopie Goldberg Sherri Shepherd Sean Penn Jane Fonda Rosie O'Donnell Ted Turner Everyone even remotely connected to the New York times OPRAH FUCKING WINFREY Everyone in congress Everyone in the White House All these people need to be rounded up, stuffed into the cargo bay of the space shuttle, injected with the H1N1 virus, and launched into a black hole where, if Steven Hawking is correct, they will eventually shrink and disappear into nothingness.
Snoop Dog: If could get a hold of his skinny ass, it would make my life. I got something gangster for you hanging, motherfucker. I'd have to get past his security, but I am sure that I could distract them with shiny stuff. Rush Limbaugh: I'd stuff him full of Oxy, set him on fire, and then roast marshmellows over his smoldering corpse. Fat pompous windbag needs to be erased from the minds of humanity. Dick Cheney: I would say that I'd have a chance, but he'd probably just kill me since he's Satans agent on earth. PETA: Can we list an entire organization here? These fucking idiots equating the holocaust with chicken farming? Seriously? Get a job stupid dirty hippies. "If God didn't want to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat" -Homer Simpson. This whole organization needs to be dropped in the mountains of Pakistan and let the Muslim tribes have a go at them.
Spencer Pratt has been mentioned. Brody Jenner has to be included. You can't really have one reality TV fuckstick without the other. And since there are too many of them to list: anyone who is famous for partying with their rich parents' money, rather than actually doing anything substantial. Guys, girls, whatever. Line 'em up and knock 'em down.
Tyler Hansbrough. His basketball skills are irrelevant. I thought I was done seeing him since he left UNC but nooo.... AT&T had to put him in a fucking tv commercial. The commercial is actually cute but I have to hate it with the inclusion of this annoying ass golden boy.
Out of all the over-privileged, under-talented athletes in the world, you choose Tyler Hansbrough? His only offense is being white and overhyped by the media. Neither is exactly is fault. While most college basketball stars make the news for stabbing, snorting, smoking, punching or whining, Hansbrough made the news for getting drunk and jumping two stories into a pool at a party. Sounds OK to me. Disclaimer: I'm from NC, but not a UNC graduate or fan. I could care less about UNC or Duke. FOCUS: I'd say Vince Shlomi (the ShamWow Guy), but his hooker already beat me to it.
Tom Brady. I hate Tom Brady so much that in the episode of Entourage he was in, I was really hoping Turtle would actually tell him he sucks balls for both him and Meadow Soprano. Even though its a fake scenario. Just seeing him hear that he sucks balls would have been enough to make me happy. Then Turtle bitched out.
BONO!!! God how I hate that self agrandizing douche bag. The worst part is he looks just like my brother. As far as women go, I have to second OPRAH for the same reason as Bono; she's so full of herself it makes me want to puke. I'm surprised that no one has mentioned Kanye West yet. He needs to die now. EDIT: ASHTON KUTCHER I hate it how every time I turn on my TV, I see him in a commercial for something new. Screw fighting him, I would just like to splatter his brains with a .44 magnum in front of every asshole who thinks he's funny and entertaining.
Yes, out of all of them I picked him. I find him extremely annoying, especially the faces he makes when he's playing ball. Dude, I don't have to rationalize it anymore that he gets on my nerves. And I bet I could make him cry when I hit him. I hit hard for a girl. Focus: I'd also like to bitch slap Tyra Banks. Why in the hell they gave her a TV show I'll never understand. The Olsen twins. Good god. Apart from sharing a role when they were babies, the only thing they've done is put their name on a Walmart-sold kids clothing & pretend makeup line.
Michael Moore. I'm not going to inject politics into this; I'll just say that I disagree with him and don't like the way that he gets the quotes for his movies. But just the way he acts, that smug "I'm a crusader, my shit doesn't stink, blah blah blah blah blah" demeanor that he just embodies. He thinks more of himself than any gangsta rapper. What a fucking douche. Seriously, who WOULDN'T want to punch this guy in the face? Similarly, I agree with C Norris on Michelle Malkin. I agree with her politics, and I think she's a bitch for the exact same reasons that I hate Michael Moore. That same "I'm a crusader, protecting the little guy from oppression" horseshit applies to both sides of the political spectrum.
Michael Moore always reminds me of the creepy toy collector from Toy Story 2. And any other fat middle-aged white guy. Part of his appeal I guess, the average-joe-ness in appearance.
I went to UNC for law school, met Tyler once. He's not a douche, and nowhere near as self entitled as you would expect of someone who was worshiped by the whole campus. Alex Stephenson is a huge douche and a chubby chaser though. Focus: Will Blackmon of Greenbay Packers fame. He played for a rival team in highschool and both of our respective teams were good at the same time. He was a complete asshole who thought he was gods gift to football, our whole team hated him. Every time he comes home he acts like a complete fucktard, flashing his bling around, still talking up how awesome is HS team was and what a big star he is now. I get irrationally angry and jealous whenever I see him on TV. I was really happy when he did his knee and got put on injured reserve. I hope life continues to fuck him over.