God dammit I hate this guy... So apparently Justin Bieber took time out of his busy schedule (filled with driving lessons and growing pubes, I assume) to crash some wedding with his girlfriend, whatsherface. "A YouTube user wrote on the video he posted of the singer at the wedding. 'He stated that he was driving by the reception in Malibu and heard a party and his song being sung so he decided to check out the event and ended up making a celebrity appearance.'" While thinking about what my reaction would be if this happened at my wedding, as if by instinct, I went to the nearest living thing and punched it. Goodbye, girlfriend's orchid. Focus: What would your reaction be if Justin Bieber showed up at your wedding just because he heard music and decided he wanted to make an appearance? Personally, I'd like to think that my friends would stop him at the door, beat him unconscious, fill his asshole with fireworks, and toss him on top of a burning funeral pyre made entirely of his shitty albums and merchandise before I ever knew he was there. That's what the groomsmen are for as far as I'm concerned. Alt. Focus: If you could pick any one person to crash your wedding, who would it be? I'm gonna go with Paul Rudd. With his early 90s bat mitzva experience, I'm pretty sure I'd allow him to boot the DJ and take things over for a bit.