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Justin Bieber: Wedding Crasher

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by effinshenanigans, Jul 19, 2011.

  1. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    God dammit I hate this guy...

    So apparently Justin Bieber took time out of his busy schedule (filled with driving lessons and growing pubes, I assume) to crash some wedding with his girlfriend, whatsherface.

    "A YouTube user wrote on the video he posted of the singer at the wedding. 'He stated that he was driving by the reception in Malibu and heard a party and his song being sung so he decided to check out the event and ended up making a celebrity appearance.'"

    While thinking about what my reaction would be if this happened at my wedding, as if by instinct, I went to the nearest living thing and punched it. Goodbye, girlfriend's orchid.

    Focus:
    What would your reaction be if Justin Bieber showed up at your wedding just because he heard music and decided he wanted to make an appearance?

    Personally, I'd like to think that my friends would stop him at the door, beat him unconscious, fill his asshole with fireworks, and toss him on top of a burning funeral pyre made entirely of his shitty albums and merchandise before I ever knew he was there. That's what the groomsmen are for as far as I'm concerned.

    Alt. Focus:
    If you could pick any one person to crash your wedding, who would it be?

    I'm gonna go with Paul Rudd. With his early 90s bat mitzva experience, I'm pretty sure I'd allow him to boot the DJ and take things over for a bit.
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    HOW CAN I NOT RUN A BIEBER THREAD, I ASK YOU?

    Personally I think this is awesome. It's not like he crashed a random wedding for no reason - they were actually playing his song. Now, it would definitely suck if the DJ was just playing it to be ironic or funny, but if so that just makes it more hilarious. If I were a famous singer or whatever, I would do shit like this all the time. Hell, Springsteen goes and play little clubs in Asbury Park sometimes. I would go to Karaoke night and sing my own songs. It'd be awesome.

    As for who I'd want to crash my wedding, I'm gonna go with Ricky Jay. I wouldn't even want him to do magic, although I certainly wouldn't stop him. It would be hilarious if he beheaded an ice sculpture by throwing cards or whatever.

    My cousin sent Mike Rowe from the Discovery Channel a wedding invitation but he didn't come. He didn't even RSVP. I suppose he's busy. But having Mike Rowe wouldn't be bad either.
     
  3. Josh

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    I never really got the graphically violent hate for pop musicians. Sure their music is awful, but it's fairly easy to avoid (for me anyway) for the most part. Seems like a good waste of hate. Though I guess if you were unwillingly exposed to it on a regular basis the urge to kill would be rising.

    Focus
    I'd probably let him hang out. He seems like a generally OK kid as long as he isn't singing.

    Alt Focus
    Bill Fuckin' Murray. Who else?
     
  4. scootah

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    Focus: Slip him some roofies. Make him the Canadian Paris Hilton.
    Alt Focus: Neil Patrick Harris.
    Alt Focus: If Neil is busy, Belladonna. I can't see any way for either of those celebrity appearances to not be the most talked about event amongst my friends for years afterward. And I'd be the one person on earth to show off my wedding photos and genuinely interest the people I was showing them too.
     
  5. dubyu tee eff

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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    I'd be too busy chatting up his oh so fine girlfriend Selena Gomez to give much of a fuck about Mr. Biebz. And before you assholes even start, she is 18, so fuck off.

    As far as who I'd want to crash a wedding? Since Bill Murray and Neil Patrick Harris have already been spoken for, I'm going to go with Prince. I feel like it would inevitably turn the wedding into a giant orgy. A giant orgy with a great soundtrack.
     
  6. JoshP

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    I would boot him unless he gave me the keys to the raptor that he got on Fantasy Factory, because if I wanted him there I would have invited him.

    I guess I would want Charlie Sheen to crash it. So he could talk sense into me running away by offering up Bree Olsen, and even if he was unable to do that we could party our faces off.

    Moral of the story: Don't play Justin Bieber at any event you don't want him to show up to.
     
  7. dixiebandit69

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    FOCUS: Never in a million years would I allow a DJ to play anything by Justin Bieber at my wedding (if I were to ever get married again, that is); I'd hire Crown Royal. He knows good music.
    If Beiber just showed up unannouced: I'd have him escorted off the premises. Nothing violent, because he really doesn't affect me in my daily life. I'm sure his music probably sucks, and I've never heard any of it, but you're never going to force me to listen to it either.

    ALT. FOCUS: There are a bunch of rock-stars that I would love to show up at ANY event I throw, be it wedding or barbecue.
    Here are a few off the top of my head: Jerry Cantrell, Rob Zombie, Dave Wyndorf, Ed Mundell, Trent Reznor, Lemmy Kilmister (especially Lemmy- though he would be best at the bachelor party!), Joan Jett.... I can go on and on.

    EDIT: I second the above post; Charlie Sheen would be welcome at my wedding.
     
  8. Roxanne

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    If he showed up at my wedding, I'd get him drunk and have sex with him. What? I want to know what all the fuss is about.

    Alt Focus: David Bowie. Probably do the same as above.
     
  9. JoeCanada

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    Oh good Christ. I'm a 24 year old male, of course I'm not going to like Justin Bieber's music, but I have nothing against the kid. He seems like a nice enough guy, he's doing great for himself, and if I hear one of his songs while I'm in a store or something *gasp* I seem to be able to move on with my day. And you know what? Good for Stephanie Meyer, too.

    Anti-Focus: Probably Snoop Dogg. Because when I'm showing my wedding photos to people, I want to be able to say "Why yes, that is Snoop Dogg."
     
  10. guernica

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    ALT FOCUS

    James Blunt. Because if I haven't already realised what a mistake I'm making and how depressed my life is about to get, he'll surely push me over the edge.

    In all seriousness, I'd pick somebody like Will Ferrell or Seth Rogan. Me and friends love all of their movies, so we'd be in for a hilariously fun time. They're both pretty unattractive too, I don't have to worry about my wife running off with one of them.
     
  11. Frank

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    Focus: I'd be too busy beating the shit out of the DJ to notice he arrived. Seriously, Justin Bieber music at a wedding?

    Alt-Focus: I wouldn't play his music without him there, but I would love for Andrew W.K. show up. I mean the guy smashed his face in with a brick for an album cover picture, how could partying with him not be awesome?
     
  12. fleafly

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    FOCUS: First some background. My friends have this fun little prank they like to play where, when I leave my cell phone on the table when I go to the bathroom they will post on Facebook that I have Bieber Fever. It's become a running gag so I think it would be pretty cool to actually have a picture up there with him.

    Alt Focus: Dave Grohl! The dude would be a blast to party/hang with.
     
  13. Poopourri

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    Really? You guys kick him out of the wedding? I mean, it's fun to tell a bunch of strangers on the internet that you'd reach over the wet bar at the reception and pull out a bottle of grain alcohol, douse him in it, light him on fire, smash the bottle against a table and repeatedly stab in while he's engulfed in flames, but I have a sneaking suspicion that most of you would just stand there, smiling, trying not to look like an asshole, then go tweet about it in what would be a pretty baller HumbleBrag ("Ugh, of COURSE Justin Beiber is at my wedding reception. Can't catch a break...")

    I could care less about the guy, his music is awful, and unfortunately it's been etched forever into my subconscious from listening to every dumb sorority girl play it constantly in the bar/parties the last couple of years (you can throw Lady Gaga, Katie Perry, Taylor Swift, etc into that mix too) but unless he's got a giant entourage and they're disrupting the reception, I don't give a flying fuck. It' a good story, and I guarantee you that all the girls would get a kick out of it.

    Or you can be that guy who's screaming and pointing fingers, telling people that this isn't some fucking party where people are supposed to have fun, it's your fucking WEDDING day. Get that motherfucker out of here! NOW.

    Bastard. I'd kill to have Bill Murray show up at my wedding reception. He's just...I mean....it's BILL FUCKING MURRAY. If I have to explain it any further than that, you just don't get it and you never will. Check out this site for a sample of his awesomeness.
     
  14. Juice

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    I'd have Biebers ass booted from the party just on principle that he didn't have an invitation.

    Alt Focus: Adam Carolla and I would immediately let him MC the whole thing.
     
  15. Kratos

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    Focus: My friend recently got married. Both he and his wife are 27. He got married at a VERY nice country club around here (drinks by the pool, the whole shootin match). Anyways, we get to the last three songs and I expect one of them to be "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, as that is a must at the end of the night. Nope, we got "baby, baby, baby, ohhhhhhh". I've never heard so many almost 30s men boo at one time.

    Alt-Focus:
    Nick Swardson: If he's in his comedic zone I wouldn't want anyone else. He does seem like the type that would bounce around between the DJ booth, insist they play something ridiculous, and would have the funniest dance to back up his pick. He's also a MN guy so he'd be in his element around the Minnesotans.

    Justin Timberlake: I know how gay this sounds but I'm guessing he'd be pretty fun to have at a wedding. Seems like an overall cool guy, could probably do some cool shit if given the DJ stand, the ladies would enjoy it and would probably have some pretty awesome stories for the guys too.

    Haley Wilde: I'm looking out for my groomsmen.

    (yes ballsack, I've known about her for a while too)
     
  16. sartirious

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    I would have a blast if Jack Nicholson graced us with his presence at my wedding. As far as musical guests go, I'm wishing for Michael Bublé. The dude can seriously sing, and both my grandparents and my tween cousins could enjoy the music equally.
     
  17. RCGT

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    Lot of wedding threads recently. Anything you want to tell us, Frylock?

    Focus: Hell, if I was a rich celebrity and this happened to me, I would probably do the same thing. I didn't read that he hogged the spotlight or anything. He just heard his song and pulled in. That's actually pretty awesome, the way I see it.

    Alt-Focus: Bob Saget. By far. He's the illest motherfucker in a cardigan sweater.
     
  18. MainEvent007

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    Alt-Focus: Morgan Freeman. To narrate the whole thing.

    But seriously, I'll actually second the Justin Timberlake idea. Gay as it is, he genuinely seems like a pretty cool guy. And, like said before, he could probably do a good job DJing. Or Donald Glover/Childish Gambino for the exact same reasons minus the gay part- he's just awesome.
     
  19. Disgustipated

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    FOCUS: I would make him stand there while I list the reasons why he's shit and completely hang him for being rude and crashing the wedding uninvited; with liberal does of "self-entitlement youth" and "get off my figurative lawn".

    ALT-FOCUS: Richard Branson. He'd bring a kickass wedding gift, and wherever he is: it's a party.
     
  20. silway

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    Go Justin for doing that. Regardless of what any of us think of his music, he had a pretty good indication that his fans were celebrating a wedding and it's usually a thrill to have someone you're a fan of show up. He didn't crash a random wedding, he crashed one playing his music. Go him.

    If he had showed up at mine? I don't know, I think I'd probably thank him for the sentiment but unless my wife wanted him there I don't know if I'd let him stay. I married a very down to earth and sensible woman so she'd never think like this but I would be worried that his presence would detract from her time in the spotlight and I would be focused on making sure her memories were ones to cherish.

    It's hard to think of a celebrity I'd want to crash... I think Bryan Cranston would be pretty hilarious and chill. I heard him on Adam Corolla's podcast and I've seen him in various shows and that might be fun.