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Just Beat It

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Angel_1756, Jul 25, 2014.

  1. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    We've discussed this in the drunk thread before, but I don't think it's even been its own thread.

    Focus: Jerking material of your past. What items were in your spank bank when you were young? Were you the guy stealing your dad's Playboys, or did you (like me) have the occasional BBS friend send you ASCII porn? We were all sneaky bastards when it came to rubbing one out, so now's the time to come clean (heh).
     
  2. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    I would download light speed sorority shit on Morpheus. Ahh the good old days of Jordan Capri.

    Bump.
     
  3. iczorro

    iczorro
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    Ah Lightspeed sorority. Jordan Capri was fantastic, and pretty softcore. Until that "honeymoon" video.

    I started out truly old school. JC Penny catalog, women's underwear section. That took dedication, and taught me that bar soap in the bathtub was NOT a good jerkoff lube. You end up chafing your dick raw, to the point that it literally bleeds. But goddamnit, at 12 years old, having an orgasm was worth a little bit of dick scabbing.

    Then I babysat my little sister one night when my parents went out, and decided to do a little snooping. I'd heard of kids finding stuff in their parents bedroom. I never thought I would actually find anything. Fucking Eureka. I found arty sex books, and Adam and Eve catalogs. Best of all, I found a shoebox in the back of the closet with 5 VHS pornos. Hot damn.

    I learned to recognize the Adam and Eve catalogues in the mail, and intercepted a bunch of them for convenient jerkoff material. But if I knew I had a couple hours before anyone was suppposed to be home, I would sneak the VHS tapes down to the basement, write down what the number on the counter was so I could rewind it to the exact spot, and then flog my dolphin. Super Newcummers #32. The Opening of Misty Beethoven (had a real and decent plot, and I now own a copy on DVD). A couple other ones I don't remember. I learned how to take apart a VCR and how to reassemble a VHS tape one day when the tape jammed in the machine. Never got caught.

    I didn't own my own PC until I got back from my first deployment in 2003, at which point I learned to love Kazaa, Limewire, et al. Now streaming is king, but I also have nearly 1TB downloaded thanks to BitLord.
     
  4. Backroom

    Backroom
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    Luckily for me, I'm young enough to have started jerking with whatever slow loading pictures I could find on dial up. My excuse was "studying on the computer." Didn't find out til years later that I should have been deleting the browser history. Oops.

    My dad also had a large porn stash that was locked in the basement with some cheap key-lock. I found the key, but one day locked it inside the trunk itself. It was awkward explaining why I had to break open the lock on my dad's porn stash, and why I had tried to fix it (poorly) with super glue.
     
  5. katokoch

    katokoch
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    Before I was aware of the glorious internet and filesharing programs... there were Victoria's Secret catalogs, and some pages snipped out of random porno mags my brother had hidden in his dresser.
     
  6. john_b

    john_b
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    The Friday night softcore porns on hbo/cinemax.
     
  7. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I was told when I was young that idle hands are the devil 's workshop so before you knew it I had tennis elbow absent racket. When you're a teen boy and you discover masturbation it's so wonderful you feel like you should be giving somebody money. Take it from my friend Ricky Nelson:

    If you didn't have tiki torches around the bed, incense burning, Enya playing and a spring-loaded gold-plated tissue box you weren't doing it right.
     
  8. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    I found some porn from when Rush was a teen.

    [​IMG]

    Yeah, you high skirted whore with your fat buttress. The buttress of Windsor. Gonna go ride that bike like a strumpet. That's exactly what the establishment doesn't want you to do. You danger slut.
     
  9. mazian

    mazian
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    The whole internet thing was pretty late for me, I think I was nearing 18 when I finally discovered how easy it was. Not that it hadn't been around for some time, but my friends just never really talked about it so I had to find out for myself. And not having my own computer made me very cautious when treading unknown waters on the internet.

    I think my very first porn was a lucky find on the attic. I have absolutely no idea to whom the porn magazines I found belonged, but the way they looked, they may have very well been bought in the 80s and forgotten there.
    Later there was the glorious time of the softcore porn on tv, late at night, and a seemingly forgotten VHS recording of some pay-tv porn, just found it while snooping around our old house one day.
    Ah, those were the times....
     
  10. downndirty

    downndirty
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    Skinemax with Hannah Harper.

    A VHS tape compilation of 80's porn featuring Kay Parker and Honey Wilder.

    A Hustler magazine that closely resembled a gynecological textbook. Weirdly, it wasn't even sexual for me, it was like "oh that's what a twat looks like when you use toothpicks like labia tentposts under a c-section performed by Wolverine."

    Victoria's Secret catalogs shamelessly pilfered from the mall.
     
  11. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    When I was 14, I found a book on my parents' bookshelf entitled "Teach your kids about sex". I used the descriptive parts as inspiration on several occasions.
     
  12. Parker

    Parker
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    First real porn was this 800 page Letters to Penthouse III my brother found at some book swap. After that I think the first mags was a "Club" and "Legs Show." My brother was into stockings and shit, I luckily only escaped with a partial leg fetish.

    Right after that, I think I found WinMX. Used it mostly for music, but with 8 hours on a 56k modem, Jenna Jameson became my first porn love. I'd claim to be working on homework late and beat it at the family computer when everyone went to bed in High School. When we upgraded to DSL I lost my mind. There were a few sites that started to leak out pictures and stuff, I'd have to create a slideshow of 30-40 pictures to get it done.