I cant be the only one that's been simultaneous perplexed and secretly jealous of Dixie's relationship with the eponymous Jungle Julia. Its like modern day free radical versions of Bonnie and Clyde got booted out of Burning Man and were released upon the world. Dixie - can you get her to do an AMA or could you do one? I need to know about this or just the relationship in general.
I'll answer some of y'all's question, but JJ's participation is out of the question; there's no way in hell I'm letting her know about this place. I talk about her here, and I've talked about other women in the past, and I don't want her going back through all of my old posts and getting pissed off. So ask me anything about this amazing woman; I may choose to tell you to fuck off, though. EDIT: I gotta tell you, Juice, I'm really surprised by this topic choice. A year ago, I would have bet green money that y'all were going to ask me to do an AMA-Prison thread, but y'all never did.
I remember us asking you a ton of prison-related questions... did you want to do one? Hell, we'll make that an alt-focus of this thread...
Fair enough, Dixie. The fuck-off response is yours to use at your disposal. And like Nett said, thats a good idea for an Alt Focus. 1) In case we missed it, how on earth did you two ever get together and what were the circumstances? As for prison: 2) What was the worst part and best part of it? (aside from the non-stop rape).
Following Juice's questions, what was the most surprising part of your prison experience and what was the most stereotypical?
I am a wee bit behind. I am almost afraid to ask, but how did she get "Jungle Julia", as her nickname?
Alt. Focus: In light of your experience in prison, how to you feel about the prospect of decriminalization of certain drugs (namely marijuana)? Or moreover, do you feel that "punishment" for non-violent offenders is effective? Where do you think the line is, on the offense scale, as far as effective rehabilitation vs. where society should just punish them?
Hi folks! These are all really great questions, keep them coming. I will answer them in detail starting Wednesday; right now, Jungle Julia and I are heading to the beach to see the "Supermoon" (http://www.space.com/34515-supermoon-guide.html) and do acid. I apologize for stepping out on the thread right once it got started, but I want to be sure and give every question the attention and explanation that it deserves. EDIT: I guess I have time for one quick one; this will be the only one that I do out of sequence, but just for reasons of brevity: When I saw that things were getting serious with this girl, and that she was going to be more than a fling, I needed some way of referring to her on here without using her real name. I could have just called her "The Girlfriend," but that seemed too impersonal. For other examples, my son is "Li'l Bandit," and my ex-wife is "The Ice Cream Cake Girl." I asked the other board members for suggestions, and most of them were godawful, so I narrowed it down to two choices, Jungle Julia or The Amazon Queen. After careful contemplation, I picked Jungle Julia because A) it's less cumbersome to write, and B) I always thought it was a cool name. Oh, and the reasons for those two choices is because she has a nice bush (which she keeps nicely trimmed, by the way; not an Amazonian Jungle at all. And her name isn't Julia.)> Did that answer your question?
If you could change the probation system for non-violent offenders, what would you do and why? Do you think state-mandated rehab is effective, and if so under what circumstances? What about work-release programs? (I'm focusing on NV because that's where your experience is, but also it's immensely interesting to me.)
Okay folks, I'm back. The beach was great, and the acid was intense. Definitely a time to remember. Now onto the questions: 1) I first "met" Jungle Julia through a mutual friend of ours about 3 1/2 years ago. I was recommended to her by our friend because she was having car trouble (She has an '89 Firebird as well). I never did get to look at her car, because a few days after her first phone call, I was sitting in the county jail waiting to be sent off to state prison. While I was in prison, she wrote to me regularly. There was nothing romantic about the letters; I would tell her about how things were in prison, she would tell me what her grad-school classes were like, and we'd just talk about random subjects like music, books (I sent her a bunch of book reviews; I could post them in the appropriate thread if y'all like), and anything else that came to mind. An important thing to mention is that the whole time, I'd never actually met her; for all I knew, she could have been someone else playing a prank on me. When I got out of prison in 2015, I finally met up with her to do some work on her car. We started hanging out a lot, but there was nothing going on between us romantically/sexually. She had a boyfriend whom she got together with right about the time I got locked up, and I wasn't looking to complicate my life at that time. But the more we hung out, the more I liked her; she really was an amazing woman: Smart, sexy, open minded, funny, and talented (she paints and plays several musical instruments, and she liked coming over to jam out with Li'l Bandit; he plays cello, bass guitar, regular guitar, and ukulele). As the months went on, I could tell I was falling for her, but there was the issue of her boyfriend. I didn't want to make a move on her, get shot down AND lose a good friend, but my days were just becoming torture; I couldn't get her out of my head. Finally, I made up my mind to do something. One night she invited me to come along with her and some of her friends to the beach. She and I went for a walk out on the beach, and by the light of the moon I kissed her and told her that I wanted her to dump her boyfriend and be with me. (It's worth noting that that guy was a controlling dipshit with a childish temper, and I had never heard her speak a single kind word about him.) She said she'd have to think about it, and after a couple of weeks, she dumped him, and now she's my girl. Remember when I went to the Reverend Horton Heat show in Houston about this time last year with a chubby girl because I wanted to get with her friend, and a bunch of y'all gave me shit and said I got friend-zoned? The chubby girl's friend was Jungle Julia. Suck on that, assholes. 2) Worst part of prison: The guards. No question in my mind. If you want to hear some horror stories, I'll give them to you, but for the moment, I'm going to move on. "Best" part of prison: I got to read a lot of books that I would never have had the time to read otherwise, and I got onto a good workout routine that I probably would never have gotten around to otherwise. And rape is pretty rare in prison, Juice. It is very much frowned upon. You have to remember that most of the guys in prison are straight, and if there is some guy going around raping the weak, the other inmates will probably try to put a stop to it, because there is always the fear that it might happen to them next. When anyone was caught engaging in sex acts in the places I was, the inmates (usually one gang or another) would make the guilty parties "catch out" of the building. "Catching out" meant that they gave you a choice: You tell the guards that you want to be moved to another building, or you get your ass beaten again and again until you choose to leave... Or you get sent to medical. Most surprising: The units I was at had no bars, just high-impact plexiglass. There were no cards or cigarettes. Porn wasn't allowed, but it did get in. You can't grow facial hair in Texas prisons (this is one of the guards' favorite ways to fuck with inmates they don't like. They can keep you from going to the chow hall if you aren't "clean shaven," but a "clean shave" is based on an officer's discretion. Basically, even if you just shaved, a guard can keep you from eating. It's their word against yours, and your word is worth less than nothing.). Texas prison inmates wear white clothes, not orange or striped. Least surprising: Lots of stupid morons. Lots of shitty tattoos. Gangs (Although they say that they aren't gangs. Ask if you want elaboration.). I'm sure this won't surprise anyone, but I think that drugs, marijuana in particular, should be legalized and regulated. I think that punishment for drug offenders is pretty pointless; in 2011, I went to a state rehab program for six months. The judge told me I could do that, or go to prison for two years. I still drink (and I started doing LSD). EVERY single guy that I've met who went through that program still drinks or gets high. My philosophy is as long as you aren't stealing/mooching/hurting people to get high, you should be left alone. I guaran-fucking-tee you that every one of you people reading this knows at least a few people who are "drug addicts" (daily drug users) who are productive citizens (whether you know it or not). As far as which crimes require punishment: Violent crimes, sex crimes, fraud/theft instantly spring to mind. I saw a lot of guys in prison that I don't think should ever be released because of those proclivities. I think forced rehab can be good for people with really serious addictions, but making someone go there because they got caught with weed/pissed dirty while they were on probation for possession of drugs and are leading an otherwise productive life is just a waste of tax dollars. I think work-release programs would be especially good for those convicted of theft; learn to earn the things you want. I also think that there should be some easing of the felony restrictions on the parts of employers. Once you get a felony charge, no matter what it was for, you are blacklisted by a lot of employers. Who the fuck are you, the cops? Jungle Julia has a guy that she gets it from.
Dixie, what was the funniest thing you saw happen in prison? Who was your least favorite fellow prisoner?
So y'all are all out of questions about Jungle Julia, huh? I'm gonna have to think about that, because believe it or not, A LOT of funny stuff happens in prison. I'll get back to this subject, and I'll probably have to narrow it down to a few stories. Without a doubt, it was this Mexican Mafia member called Monster. He was a dipshit of the highest order. He was 24 years old, 5'4", 120 pounds, always walked hunched over, and thought he knew everything, but he didn't know Jack Shit. Seriously, one of my first days on the unit, he came up to me and started talking about how he was the smartest guy in the building. But he was gullible (believed in every conspiracy theory you could think of), and was actually very ignorant about just about any subject you could think of. He had a few kids by a couple of different girls, but he made it very clear that he had no intention of supporting them, AND HE WANTED TO HAVE MORE KIDS. He was a Satanist. He claimed that Satan appeared to him once, and that it wasn't a hallucination (or a lie). He claimed that he could use black magic to get whatever he wanted, but he never did so. He claimed to be an extraordinary lover who got shit-tons of pussy in the free world, and maybe he did. What bothered me about that claim was that he would never shut up about it. Now, I know that most of y'all are probably thinking that this guy made my life a living hell by using his gang power to bully/extort me. You would be wrong. This guy made my life hell by looking up to me and tagging along behind me like a puppy. He was always coming up to me and asking my opinion on things, asking me to state facts that would settle arguments for him (he was almost ALWAYS wrong), or just talking about stupid bullshit. And I didn't give a shit about his gang affiliation; I'd tell him what an idiot he was. In fact, I told him how stupid and hypocritical his organization was. And he never did anything about it. Also, another important thing that needs to be said about this guy: he was a member of the Mexican Mafia, but he HATED the Mexican inmates, and could not - would not - speak Spanish. Seriously, my white ass can speak more Spanish than he could. All of that irritation caused some creativity in me, though. He inspired me to write some hilarious things just to make fun of him. One was a quiz (I wrote a few quizzes while I was in prison. One was about me.), and the other was a short(ish) story. The quiz I wrote while the unit was on lockdown, and all inmates were restricted to their bunks. I distributed it to all the inmates who knew Monster, that way they could all get a good laugh at his expense, and then I let him read it (to know that everyone was laughing at him behind his back). Here it is, transcribed, with some explanations added where necessary: Spoiler So you think you know Monster? Take this quiz and find out! 1) If Monster was a woman, what would his sexual nature be like? A- A confident woman who can have any woman she wants B- A spinster C- A cum dumpster D- A pathetic doormat of a girl who takes whatever she can get 2) What fictional character would Monster be? A- Quasimodo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame B- Igor, Dr. Frankenstein's henchman C- Robin, the Boy Wonder D- Wonder Woman 3) If Monster was a porn star, what would his name be? A- MonStar (yes, like the characters from "Space Jam") B- The Human Toilet C- Johnny Sack D- Rusty Trombone (Note: He told me that he really did plan on doing porn when he got out, and that his name would be MonStar. I added "The Human Toilet" because he admitted that he liked being shit on. Literally. Really. "Johnny Sack" was a reference to the sack lunches we got during lock-downs. Nobody could ever tell me why they were called johnny sacks, but it seemed like a cool name for a porn star.) 4) What song best describes Monster's life? A- "Cocksucker Blues" - The Rolling Stones B- "Hooker with a penis" - Tool C- "Hot White Cum" - Liz Phair D- "Prison Sex" - Tool 5) If Monster were a mythical creature, which would he be? A- Satyr B- Mugwump C- Gnome D- Demon (Note: he was always saying how he was going to be a demon when he finally went to Hell.) 6) Which celebrity would Monster most like to perform oral sex on? A- Vince Vaugn B- Neil Patrick Harris C- Melissa McCarthy D- Channing Tatum (Note: Monster had huge, throbbing man-crushes on Vince Vaughn and Neil Patrick Harris, and he didn't make it a secret, either. I added the other two options for laughs.) 7) Monster's political views are: A) Conservative B) Liberal C) Communist D) Whatever pisses off everyone else 8) If Monster was a flavor of ice cream, which would he be? A- Vanilla B- Chocolate C- Ben and Jerry's Schweddy Balls D- Rainbow swirl 9) What is Monster's favorite sex toy? A- A blow-up doll B- A Fleshlight (TM) C- A dildo D- A vibrator (Note: Monster claimed that he didn't know what a Fleshlight was. Riiiiiiiight...) 10) What is the first thing Monster is going to do when he gets out of TDC (Texas Department of Corrections)? A- Shave his eyebrows B- Shave his ass-crack C- Hook up with Max D- Try - and fail - to start his own cult E- Dig up some graves (Notes: A- Monster shaved his eyebrows once on a bet, and his fellow gang members beat his ass for it, because it made their organization look bad. B- Monster would always brag about how hairy his ass crack was. Really. C- Max was a young, chubby inmate that lot of guys picked on, especially Monster. D- Monster was always talking about starting his own cult. E- Monster was planning on robbing graves for skulls and jewelry when he got out. Really.) Bonus: What will Monster's next offense be that will lead to his inevitable return to TDC? A- Burglary B- Showing his dick to an 8-year old C- Necrophilia D- Arson of a Catholic church (Note: He was in prison for burglary.) I need to transcribe the story; it's about fifty pages long.
How was your medical care? Were problems addressed in a timely manner? Were you in minimum or maximum security?
What do you think of these prison shows where they show life behind bars? Are they in any way realistic, and if so, what parts? What would you focus more/less on? I know this is a little personal so feel free not to answer, but.... how do you intend to tell your son about this (if you haven't already)? What was told to him when you were in prison? How has having a criminal record affected you professionally? Personally? How do you feel about solitary confinement? Did your opinion change after you went into prison? Did being in jail alter your political beliefs any? How much time each day did you spend out of your cell? What did you do? What did/could you do in your cell? How did you stave off boredom? Has your experience changed your perspective on downtime outside of prison? Have any of your habits, or any of your personality (that you're aware of) changed since you were released as a result of your time spent? If it hasn't already been said, Dixie, thanks so much for doing this thread. I find the whole thing fascinating, I thoroughly appreciate and respect the candidness with which you answer, and hopefully more people will continue to contribute questions. This is such an important topic that I don't think enough people realize affects everyone either directly or indirectly.
I avoided that shit like the plague; all it is is flour and oil. I DID make sure to have some on hand for emergencies and trading, though. 'Nerds, you've got a lot of questions, and I'll get to the rest later. Medical/dental care was FUCKING HORRIBLE. Believe me, you DO NOT want to get sick in prison. As you can probably imagine, taxpayers don't want to spend much money on prison inmates, so medical services are cut to the bare minimum. The units I was at were considered "transfer units," which are only intended to hold inmates for a "short time" ("Short time" in this case meaning up to two years; Texas is the only state that does this, so far as I know. I got to talk to a lot of guys who had been locked up in other states.) and didn't have all of the resources that a permanent "ID (Institutional Division)" unit would have. This is a cost-cutting measure on the part of the state. We didn't have a full time doctor, whereas an ID unit would. The average inmate will be okay, but if you have any kind of chronic condition (diabetes, epilepsy, mental issues [oh, there are A LOT of mentally ill prisoners in Texas; ask if you want details on that], etc.), you will not. I have seen guys pass out because their meds were changed, or because they weren't able to get them in time. I saw a guy have a seizure because the guards in our building wouldn't let him go to the medical building (the seizure didn't look how I thought it would). If the doctor at your unit does decide that you need serious medical treatment, like surgery, you will have to go on "medical chain." (Any time you get moved from your unit, it's called being "on chain.") Texas' inmate medical hospital is at the UT Galveston hospital; they have a special wing just for inmates. Depending on where you were staying originally, you will have to get moved and checked into a couple of different units along the way. Getting moved from one unit to another is VERY stressful, even when you are in good health, so just imagine if you are sick. Ask about the moving process, if you're curious. Just getting to the shitty medical department at your home unit is a hellish experience. You get called out at about 4AM, where you sit inside a cage with a bunch of sick guys for potentially the whole day. Did I mention that you might not even be seen that day? The dental department's answer for everything is "pull the tooth." As you can imagine, a lot of inmates have really jacked-up teeth. About my security level: Like I mentioned, I was at a transfer unit, and we had all kinds in there: Dumbasses who got too many DWIs like me, a LOT of drug offenders, violent offenders, child molesters, arsonists; you name it. Murderers and lifers usually got sent to an ID unit pretty fast, though. I'm talking within a week or so, and they usually stay in solitary confinement until then. Texas doesn't really designate their prisons as minumum/medium/maximum security; instead, there will be different parts of each ID unit for different levels of offenders. Some units even have a separate wing for former military offenders. There are only two units in Texas where lethal injections are carried out: The Walls unit in Hunstville (oldest unit still in operation), and Polunsky unit. Yes. It's used as a unit of currency, because it is easy to measure, and holds its value. Stamps are the other big one, and that's what I used, most of the time. They are much easier to hide. At any one time, I made sure to have at least $50 in stamps hidden in my stuff. If the guards think that you have too much stuff (that you didn't buy legally), they will confiscate it, and you will have basically no recourse. Hell, they will take your shit if they want to anyway. It happened to me. Just ask about that whole terrible process. I'm gonna go for now, I'll check back in tomorrow.
No offense, but seriously, am I the only one questioning what kind of woman decides to write to a guy in prison that she barely knows? My common sense is screaming that this is beyond shady shit, but hey what the hell do I know.. Also, once again, I am behind, but what did you go to prison for?