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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Ins, Mar 23, 2011.

  1. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    When I was 5, someone told me if you swallow a watermelon seed, it will grow in your stomach. For some reason, I thought this would be awesome, so I collected watermelon seeds in a sandwich bag and swallowed them whole, hoping I could taste watermelon forever.
     
  2. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    WHAT? I thought that Up made both the animal and the joke up. Guess I'm still learning new things every day...
     
  3. cynismus

    cynismus
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    When I was a kid, there were always a lot of ads on TV (during commercials of all things) telling people to not drink and drive. It was the standard message of it's illegal, be safe, if you get caught the cops will throw you in jail. On one family road trip, my dad opened up a can of Diet Coke and I was scared shitless for 30 minutes that we would all get thrown in jail because my dad was drinking while driving. It wasn't until years later that I understood that it was only booze that was illegal.
     
  4. Muley05

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    These have been mentioned previously, but they are true for me, too:

    1. I thought that trees moving caused wind, not vice versa
    2. I thought that because girls sat down to pee, they must pee out of their butt

    I also thought that pregnant women carried babies in their stomach, and therefore that a girl could get pregnant from swallowing after a blow job.
     
  5. fishy

    fishy
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    When I was 7, I went to Disneyland with my friend & his parents. We saw MIckey Mouse, and I got a picture of him with his autograph.

    When I got home, I proudly showed it to my mom. She looked at it and said, "Hmmm... Mickey is a girl. This is clearly a girl's handwriting"

    I knew Mickey was played by a person, that someone was just dressed up in a costume. But for years after she said that, I assumed that Disney ONLY hired girls to play Mickey. I even told other kids at school that. No wonder they looked at me weird.
     
  6. Omegaham

    Omegaham
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    Focus: Thanks to people going "Damn, she's got a nice ass" and "I'd tap that ass" combined with talking about "doggy-style" sex, I thought that normal sex involved putting your dick in the lady's ass. Took a long time for me to realize that no, there's another custom-built hole.

    Just because the OP mentioned it: I've been called Reverse Michael Jackson by my friends many times; I'm slowly turning black. It started with a large birthmark on my chest, and it's been growing ever since. At this point, it covers all of my chest and is starting to go up my neck. Patches are growing on my arms and legs. It hasn't gotten to my stomach yet, but it's getting there. I've had it checked out by a dermatologist, and he said "Nope, it's not cancer. Your body just has some weird melanin production issues." I get really self-conscious whenever I have to take my shirt off, (beach, pool, etc) because there's always going to be some dude who goes "OH MY GAWD WHAT IS THAT."

    Dunno what to say. In twenty years, people are going to be looking at my dad funny. "You're SURE that he's your kid?"

    All of my black friends think this is hilarious.
     
  7. Volo

    Volo
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    All those rednecks were right! It really is contagious!
     
  8. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    I think this is kind of true for everyone. It's like the Mary's Room argument in philosophy of mind. You can watch endless amounts of porno and have older friends or sex ed tell you everything they know about sex but only when your penis touches the inside of a vagina do you actually learn how fucking great it is...
     
  9. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    I also was confused about sex in grade school.

    I thought you laid the penis on top of the 'giner, like a hotdog.
     

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  10. The_Native

    The_Native
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    When I was real young we would drive two hours away to visit family. I thought if I fell asleep the time would speed up and we would be there faster. One day when I have kids I am going to try and teach them this.
     
  11. Pussy Galore

    Pussy Galore
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    Disturbed

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    In keeping with the sexual naïveté theme, I was sure that oral sex was just another phrase for dirty talk, and thus could not understand why news reports of forced oral sex (in the course of rape, sexual assault, et cetera) was as awful as the reports made it sound. Nor could I understand how oral sex could be forced in the first place. I was also convinced that the term "boning" specifically referred to anal sex, so I was horrified in eighth grade when a boy I had a crush on bragged about boning a classmate of ours.

    Clearly, I'm now better informed.
     
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    My dreams were CRUSHED when I realized that the Flintstones were NOT performed before a live studio audience.
     
  13. sharald27

    sharald27
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    So going to a Catholic grade school my whole life until college and somewhat Conservative parents. Sex and topics relating to anything such was something I never heard about or talked about with anyone. So here are some humorous stories of my naive, childish private school girl self.

    1: When I was about 12 years old, my mom thought it was time to have "the talk" with me. Which in her eyes was giving me this book that basically told me everything my mother never wanted to tell me. She handed the book to me and said "Read this, if you have any questions or you want to talk about anything-come and ask me. This is the same book I gave your brother and sister." So I read the book and I had a basic understanding but obviously didn't really KNOW anything being the pure child I was. The one thing I was really curious about that I didn't quite understand was the concept of masturbation. Thinking back on it now-my poor mother and what an idiot I was. I remember asking her "Well, is there an age you're supposed to start doing it?" "Does everyone masturbate?" "Did you ever masturbate?" My memory may be off, but I don't think my mother ever did answer that last question. About a year or two later when I started to get horny (this feeling I had felt before but couldn't put a name to it until I was about 14) it took me at least 3 times masturbating to connect the dots all over again from when I asked my mom about what masturbating was. And it was then I realized that that "overwhelming, volcanic explosion" feeling I was having-was an orgasm. God I was an idiot.

    2: For some reason when I was around that same age, I thought pubic hair was pronounced "public"-don't ask me why my dyslectic mind decided to add the "L" but it did. So one time when we were reading in class about human development I had to read a paragraph out loud and I came across the word "pubic hair" and of course pronounced it "public hair". Everyone in my class started laughing and my teacher said "It's pubic, dear. God, I would hope it wouldn't be public hair..." Felt like the biggest dumbass. I hated reading in front of the class after that...
     
  14. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    I remember asking but don't remember my mom's reaction, though I hear about it all the time when it comes to embarrassing stories she gets to tell all the time. In kindergarten one of my favorite movies was Look Who's Talking, I asked my mom what those tad pole things were at the beginning. She politely and shortly explained "theyre sperm they fertilize a woman's egg to make a baby." So one day we were at the Cincinnati Museum Center and they had a pregnancy section in one exhibit, just 3D cut outs of the womb and the woman's stomach. I flat out asked her out loud "so where do the SPERM come from!?!?!" She said, "They come from the man...." Other people around her started laughing, she was beet red, she eventually lost it and started cracking up. I think that movie gave a better understanding of how birthing worked than any fucking health class I took.

    As for public speaking. In third grade, I found out it was pronounced George WASHington, not WORSHinton, as my grandpa had always said it. As if I was meant to be tactically shamed that day, I got up to do my presentation and my teacher had to leave the room for a phone call but insisted I go ahead anyway. The first time I said it this little jock kid started laughing his ass off and proceeded to chide me until the teacher got back. That killed my willingness to share for the class for a few years.
     
  15. sharald27

    sharald27
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    Just curious, did your grandpa also say wash- "warsh"? I noticed a lot of people from the south add "r"s to "a-s-h" words. That little prick of a kid-karma will get at him one day. I always was that kid that got made fun of. But I have the satisfaction of knowing I will not be screwed over in life as much as they will because they are bunch of dumbasses that think life is like high school-fucking pricks.
     
  16. Subito

    Subito
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    When I was little I thought dick was slang for butt. You can see where that might cause confusion. Also, until sixth grade I didn't realize that pussy meant anything besides cat. Got a trip to the office for that one.
     
  17. iczorro

    iczorro
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    I never heard the word fuck until I was 5 and my Mom got remarried to a douche. I wasn't real clear on what it meant, though. I thought it meant to show someone your ass, which one of the girls at my babysitters had done to me. So when I got home, I said to my mom, "I think Summer fucked me." Her jaw about hit the fuckin floor.
     
  18. shauncorleone

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    I was probably about 11 when I discovered the word twat but was not provided its meaning. I assumed it was interchangeable with "twit", and surprisingly my parents let me say it 2 or 3 times at dinner in a family restaurant before informing me that it wasn't an age-appropriate term.
     
  19. BL1Y

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    I remember being in maybe 1st grade and hearing other boys say the exact same thing. Going by this thread, this is a very common believe people have growing up.

    Alt-Focus: My mom thought for a while that Arnold Schwarzenegger was deaf, and that's why he talks that way.
     
  20. seelivemusic

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    When I was at the boy scout rifle range there were big signs proclaiming: "Alcohol & Gunpowder Don't Mix !" For years (till I was 16 I think) I thought that if you mixed the two they would explode.

    I didn't know you could get stoned more than once a day. Figured that one out after a few months.