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July 4th Tips Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jul 3, 2013.

  1. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Busy days round these parts, but I figured this thread could be helpful.

    Focus: Share your July 4th tips. Got a great grilling recipe? Know which fireworks are the best? Advice on how to best throw a little shindig? Put it here.

    Alt-focus: Your related questions.
     
  2. downndirty

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    Watermelon. Sparklers. Mushrooms....the magic kind. Best weekend ever.

    Disclaimer: this requires soberish adult supervision.
     
  3. CharlesJohnson

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    Get a big, ripe watermelon. Chunk up the meat and puree all that sweet goodness. Fill ice cube trays with the puree, freeze it. You now have watermelon ice cubes. Not only does this make nice popsicles for the kiddies, but they make these:

    Watermelon Margarita:

    1 tray watermelon ice cubes
    4 ounces tequila
    1 ounce melon liqueur
    1 ounce triple sec
    2 ounces lime juice

    Blend it up until a smooth. Makes 2.

    Watermelon isn't too heavy, so it doesn't really water down the kick much. Plus it blends up so nice. My favorite hot day drink. Rum would also work in this.
     
  4. kindalas

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    Home made rib rub

    Ideal for beef side ribs. But short ribs work too, as do pork ribs but I'd add an extra table spoon of sugar.

    3 tbs ground pepper
    1 tbs salt
    2 tbs sugar
    2 tsp paprika
    1 tsp cayenne pepper
    2 tsp onion powder
    2 tsp garlic powder
    2 tsp mustard power

    Put the rub on the top side.

    Cook at 225 (in oven or preferably grill) until the meat between the bones is between 185-195 degrees

    If you cook the ribs but done't get them up to temperature they with be dry and tough as fuck.

    Serve with potato salad and beer.

    The ribs should look like this when done.


     

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  5. toytoy88

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    Stay out of the path of lit cats.
     
  6. iczorro

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    If you haven't already started marinating your meat, it's too late. Just in case, here's how to make awesome beer brats.

    Brats of your choice
    Garlic Salt
    Medium/Dark beer (Amber Bock is my preferred)

    Dust the bottom of a stew-sized pot with garlic salt
    Add three beers
    Poke a bunch of holes in the brats with a fork, drop 'em in the beer.
    There should be enough beer to completely submerge all brats, so fill to need, leaving two or three inches from the top of the pot for foamage. Shake garlic salt in for three seconds per additional beer
    Let them soak as long as possible. I like to do it over night, but you need a minimum of an hour
    Boil that shit. Boil for ten minutes or so, long enough to get the brats cooked through.
    Pull the brats out, crisp them on the grill
    Put everything but pickles/relish on them, because pickles are what happens when Satan cums in a cucumber

    'Merica
     
  7. E. Tuffmen

    E. Tuffmen
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    Don't hold firecrackers in your hand too long after you light them.
     
  8. toejam

    toejam
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    Making infused vodka is awesome for summer parties, but unfortunately, if you want to do this for the 4th you now have to wait until next year. I like to infuse with pineapple because something sweet is a nice change of pace from the whiskey and gin that are usually the only hard liquor I drink, and it's great on a hot day.

    Basically, get a large, airtight glass container. Core and cut up pineapple (I use two for a bit more than a handle), and stack in your container. Pour the vodka over it, stick it in the fridge, and wait two weeks. Strain out the chunks, and if you're fancy, the bits of pulp that are floating around. Don't bother eating the chunks, they'll be sapped of their flavor and will taste like shit. Despite this warning, I promise you'll still end up trying a piece. Serve the vodka over ice with a splash of club soda, effing delicious.

    Be careful though, it's easy to throw back way more of the stuff than you think.
     
  9. Kubla Kahn

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    Or throw them like a baseball. My dad blew out his ear drum with a cherry bomb back in the day when it went off in his hand as it passed by his ear. I only throw them underhand.
     
  10. PIMPTRESS

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    Don't drink and drive.
     
  11. The Village Idiot

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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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  12. Revengeofthenerds

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    Test some of your fireworks before the "big show." On occasion, a few of them will end up sucking. You wanna have time left to run to the nearest fireworks shack to re-stock to make up for your lame fireworks.

    Par for the course if you get fireworks on the cheap. If you spend $100, expect that at least $20 of them won't perform quite right. Best to find that $20 worth before the big night and replace it.
     
  13. effinshenanigans

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    Or try to tie a couple together to make your own hybrids.

    I lashed a couple cherry bombs together one summer and one went off first, launching the other one directly at my face. I turned my head at the last moment and it blew up inches from my ear. That ear rang for so many hours, but I'm lucky it wasn't my fucking eye.
     
  14. toytoy88

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    If you get bored, launch mortars directly into a lake. It will blow underwater creating quite the show and you might end up with a few fish.
     
  15. downndirty

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    How the fuck do you own mortars? Where do you find those?
     
  16. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Indian reservations
     
  17. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
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    At a fireworks shop.
     
  18. Dude

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    No idea where you live but you can buy them in PA as long as you aren't a resident of PA. Not exactly sure how the laws break down but it means that if you live close to the border you can buy some pretty cool shit.
     
  19. Currer Bell

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    I decided on the spur of the moment to have 3 cocktails tonight in a theme: states and patriotic colors. It took me awhile to find a white(ish) drink with a state name (for which I already had the ingredient on hands):

    Red: Alabama Slammer
    White: New York Lemonade
    Blue: Blue Hawaiian

    I will of course wait to imbibe until after we set off our fireworks.
     
  20. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    Buy yourself one of these:

    [​IMG]

    You're probably asking yourself, "Is that a roll of 16,000 black cat firecrackers?"

    Yes. Yes it is. And it's all in one long string. Light it in a well populated area and enjoy 35 minutes of constant explosions.