In before "lol I'm giving up jesus and not drinking". Two years ago I gave up soda, or pop depending on where you are. I still haven't had any since then. I'd like to say it made me healthier, but I truthfully don't feel any better. I just save $15 a week in diet coke. Twelve years ago I decided to give up chicken tenders, because it was basically a food group in college. I made it 35 days. Then one day I found myself alone and hungry so I decided to cave in and get 3 of them. I sat down in my car after eating them and cranked the engine. My car then blew a spark plug out of the engine so hard it dented the hood. God smited me. This year I'm doing nicotine. I've had a hard relationship with the substance going on and off of it for the last 14 years. That all ends today. My wife is pregnant again and I'm sure as fuck not going to raise a child as an addict. If I can go 40 days, then I can go forever. Wish me luck.
This is one of the funniest ones I've heard. So specific. Im giving up bread. I eat it on a daily basis, and in more than 1 meal. Its going to be tough. Its like that Oprah commercial.
Its like listening to an alcoholic trying to justify their habit. I guess if you're Oprah there are worse habits to try and kick than eating bread. Like not eating Gayle Kings pussy. ah cha cha cha.
Coincidentally, I've decided to stop getting a healthy buzz, and really cutting back on the evening drinking. This isn't for religious reasons, its for reasons that actually impact me. My twin brother asked me if I was going to church today for Ash Wednesday, I had a hard time not making a snarky joke. So I am giving up booze, mostly...That counts right? I've also given up food. If Jesus can make it 36 days in the desert without eating I can too right?
Most things I could give up in a snap of my fingers. My biggest challenge would be giving up coffee or caffeine. I don't think I've gone more than two days without it. I'm pretty sure it fucks with my sleep cycle so I've tapered back to finishing my last cup before noon. It is my only chemical dependence.
To score one of those cardboard fake rice bowls, and solicit enough donations to buy a case of Schlitz and a happy ending at the Lucky Golden Spa.. For myself, not the poor. Fuck them, they can buy their own beer and handys.
Sure you can, but after forty days don't to expect to walk back in and pick back up like a meth addict right out of rehab.