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James Lipton, you smug bastard

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Oct 1, 2012.

  1. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    I occasionally watch Inside the Actor's Studio. Sometimes it's an actor of interest; at all times it involves watching Lipton verbally fellate someone who has not - as he would make us believe - saved the world, but rather has only acted in two blockbusters and a failed television show. The one where he had Bradley Cooper on was especially good, because it's the first time an alumn of Pace University has come onto the stage to be questioned. Watching Lipton with tears of pride in his eyes trying to make The Hangover sound like high art was fun.

    At the end, he always asks Bernard Pivot's questionnaire:


    1. What is your favorite word?
    2. What is your least favorite word?
    3. What turns you on?
    4. What turns you off?
    5. What sound or noise do you love?
    6. What sound or noise do you hate?
    7. What is your favorite curse word?
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
    9. What profession would you not like to do?
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

    Focus: James Lipton is interviewing you, and it's your turn to answer the questionnaire.
     
  2. hooker

    hooker
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    1. What is your favorite word? Serendipity.
    2. What is your least favorite word? Moist.
    3. What turns you on? Pain and submission.
    4. What turns you off? Indecisiveness.
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Running water. Think river, not tap.
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Disgusting mother fuckers who flap their lips and chew with their mouth wide open.
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Cunt.
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I'd want to be paid to fuck, if it was socially acceptable.
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything involving shift work.
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Oh fuck. That's the one."
     
  3. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Location:
    Deepinthehearta, TX
    1. What is your favorite word? Sesquipedilian
    2. What is your least favorite word? Retard
    3. What turns you on? My wife in nothing but one of my dress shirts
    4. What turns you off? The smell of cooked vegatables
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Ocean waves
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Grackles
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Depends on the situation and to whom it's being directed
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Acting
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Lawyer
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Well done."
     
  4. JWags

    JWags
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    Whenever I watch that show, I'm always just amazed at how old that man is. Not that he looks like he's 45, but he's fucking 86. He's doing something right. My grandpa is 84 and looks 20 years older than Lipton.

    On focus...

    1) Changes often, but I've always been partial to "brilliant"
    2) Poop
    3) Wit, confidence, and individuality
    4) Being vanilla in appearance, personality, or attitude
    5) The jumbled buzz of conversation in a crowded restaurant
    6) People that breath heavily when inhaling food
    7) Motherfucker
    8) Professional soccer player
    9) Door to door/office to office sales
    10) Not bad kid, not bad
     
  5. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    1. What is your favorite word?
    Precariously
    2. What is your least favorite word?
    Preggo
    3. What turns you on?
    Intrigue
    4. What turns you off?
    Boredom
    5. What sound or noise do you love?
    Typing, old clocks, creaking floorboards
    6. What sound or noise do you hate?
    Something very repetitive - think faucets dripping, pen clicking, someone clearing their throat a lot etc
    7. What is your favorite curse word?
    Fuck
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
    Costume or set designer for movies
    9. What profession would you not like to do?
    Anything that involves a lot of numbers
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
    They're waiting
     
  6. Omegaham

    Omegaham
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    Oregon
    1. What is your favorite word? Tinnatabulation. I read it in a poem in middle school and have been entranced ever since.
    2. What is your least favorite word? Behoove.
    3. What turns you on? Control, namely the loss of it.
    4. What turns you off? Stupidity.
    5. What sound or noise do you love? When a cat jumps off the bed and lands kinda hard... the combination of the "thump" and the "mmph" sound the cat makes. It's like a furry version of a grunt, and it makes me smile.
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? The screeching sound of brakes that are about six months past their service date.
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuckstick.
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Actuarial science.
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Roofing.
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Hey, you made it. Welcome to the party."
     
  7. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    CT
    1. What is your favorite word? Ubiquitous
    2. What is your least favorite word? Receipt
    3. What turns you on? Spontaneity
    4. What turns you off? Lack of passion
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Flowing water
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Curling ribbon with scissors
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck, or any derivative
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Stand-up comedy
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Septic tank emptying
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
    "Here's your beer. You can refill it in that river over there."
    or
    "Rock, paper, scissors. Two out of three gets you in. What? You thought I decided?"
     
  8. lhprop1

    lhprop1
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    1. What is your favorite word? Snagglepuss
    2. What is your least favorite word? Actually
    3. What turns you on? Hot chicks
    4. What turns you off? Fat/ugly chicks
    5. What sound or noise do you love? The call of the black capped chickadee
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? High pitched squeals (like girls at a Bieber concert)
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Cocksucker
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Porn star
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Gay porn star
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "The bait shop sells liquor."
     
  9. dewercs

    dewercs
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    1. What is your favorite word? hookup (as in when a fish hits a troller and you scream hoooooookuuppppppp)
    2. What is your least favorite word? can't
    3. What turns you on? planning the next adventure
    4. What turns you off? gving up
    5. What sound or noise do you love? the sound a reel makes when it goes off
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? the sound of a human being beaten
    7. What is your favorite curse word? fucking cocksucker
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? fishing/hunting guide
    9. What profession would you not like to do? factory line worker
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Nice work chief
     
  10. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    In a flyover state hoping your plane crashes
    1. What is your favorite word?Parabola.
    2. What is your least favorite word?Synergy.
    3. What turns you on?Attractive, horny women.
    4. What turns you off?Unattractive, horny women.
    5. What sound or noise do you love?A three cylinder two-stroke engine.
    6. What sound or noise do you hate?Noisily chewing gum/eating.
    7. What is your favorite curse word?Cunt.
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?Rock vocalist.
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Any kind of factory work.
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?Hey, man. How was it?
     
  11. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

    BeCoolBitch_BeCool
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    Disturbed

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    1. What is your favorite word? Colloquial
    2. What is your least favorite word? Chill (specifically, as an adjective).
    3. What turns you on? Biting, sweat.
    4. What turns you off? Being interrupted.
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Rain, Josh Homme's guitar
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Mouth noises
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Shit (one exception: the term "Shit-ton")
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Graphic design, chef
    9. What profession would you not like to do? I made a vow after college to never work a job that requires me to wear a name tag
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "I don't exist."
     
  12. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    Location:
    Earth, The Universe
    1. What is your favorite word? Twitterpated
    2. What is your least favorite word? Guido
    3. What turns you on? (I'm taking this question as "creatively, spiritually, or emotionally.) nature in the summer
    4. What turns you off? Negativity
    5. What sound or noise do you love? My father's laugh
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? crying babies. Not because it's annoying, but because it breaks my heart.
    7. What is your favorite curse word? cunt
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Chef
    9. What profession would you not like to do? cat food quality control
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Wake Up!"
     
  13. Noland

    Noland
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    Location:
    New Orleans
    1. What is your favorite word? Feral.
    2. What is your least favorite word? Plethora.
    3. What turns you on? Pretty much anything if done right.
    4. What turns you off? Body odor.
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Glasses clinking together.
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Throwing up.
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Cocksucker.
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Doctor.
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Attorney.
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? There must be some sort of mistake.
     
  14. Pussy Galore

    Pussy Galore
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    Disturbed

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    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    1. What is your favorite word? Onomatopoeia
    2. What is your least favorite word? Fahrenheit
    3. What turns you on? Nerdiness and situation-appropriate humor
    4. What turns you off? Neediness
    5. What sound or noise do you love? My dog snoring
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Squealing brakes or the sound of my alarm
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Cunt
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Biological weapons analysis
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Restaurant management
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Drink a beer, eat some ribs, take a nap, whatever - you're gonna be here for a while. By the way, that sanctimonious bitch Becky is boiling in the sixth Bolgia of the eighth circle of hell. Have a nice eternity now, y'all."
     
  15. Dude

    Dude
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    Disturbed

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    1. What is your favorite word?
    Snarky
    2. What is your least favorite word?
    Curdle
    3. What turns you on?
    Cute smile, sense of humor
    4. What turns you off?
    Sloppiness, bad teeth
    5. What sound or noise do you love?
    Heavy Rain
    6. What sound or noise do you hate?
    The buzzing noise flies and mosquitos make
    7. What is your favorite curse word?
    SLUTS
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
    Apparel Design
    9. What profession would you not like to do?
    Any thing agriculture related
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
    Not what you expected, huh? No worries, have fun.
     
  16. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    1. What is your favorite word? Meticulous
    2. What is your least favorite word? Anything spoken with a stereotypical northeastern accent. Socks/'Skins I guess?
    3. What turns you on? A partner in crime
    4. What turns you off? Someone who expects the guy to be the 1930s ideal of a man
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Boat motor running with the wind blowing by.
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? other people eating
    7. What is your favorite curse word? cocksucker
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? political spin guy
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything dealing with the general public.
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Oh you're here way to early.
     
  17. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    1. What is your favorite word? Perfunctorily. I don't even know what it means, but i drop it into conversations to look smart. It's working. No one has challenged me, not even the taco lady.

    2. What is your least favorite word? "Hey You in the bushes!" Boner kill.

    3. What turns you on? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

    4. What turns you off? Mean people, and like, people ignorant of other people's beliefs. Totally.

    5. What sound or noise do you love? Toss up between a basset hound's howl, or The Benny Hill Theme: Yakety Sacks. (Sadly, this is the most honest answer in this entire questionnaire)

    6. What sound or noise do you hate? The fucking rat in my attic. He must be at least 10 pounds by the sound of the thumping going on. In a way I hope he finally chews through a wire and catches the whole place on fire just so that SOB dies shittily in a righteous hellfire.

    7. What is your favorite curse word? Shitcunt.

    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Gigolo. Nah, that's shallow. Privileged socialite. Mmm, there we go. Class.

    9. What profession would you not like to do? The supplier for all the black shoe polish James Lipton goes through to keep his hair that color.

    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Oppan Gangnam Style!" Can't escape it.
     
  18. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    Location:
    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    1. What is your favorite word? Observatory
    2. What is your least favorite word? Larvae
    3. What turns you on? Wit, passion and ambition
    4. What turns you off? Indifference and apathy
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Waves hitting the beach
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? People eating. Or kids whining. Both make me want to curb-stomp someone.
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Rock star (who is famous only in Japan)
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything in politics
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Welcome, bitch.
     
  19. jennitalia

    jennitalia
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    Messages:
    806
    Location:
    Canada
    1. What is your favorite word? Redundant
    2. What is your least favorite word? No
    3. What turns you on? Funny dudes
    4. What turns you off? Bad skin and teeth
    5. What sound or noise do you love? Rain
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Crying
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Motherfucker
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Wedding planner
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything requiring a uniform
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Nothing here has calories.
     
  20. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Location:
    Sarnia, Ontario
    1. What is your favorite word? Below.
    2. What is your least favorite word? Like, basically, umm (all verbal ticks of bad public speakers).
    3. What turns you on? Confidence, charm and aloofness.
    4. What turns you off? Being pursued.
    5. What sound or noise do you love? My dogs barking in their sleep.
    6. What sound or noise do you hate? Running water of any kind. The crashing of a cascade coming from a large fountain or a waterfall gives me a headache; dripping makes me think something's leaking; rain makes me paranoid I'll have another flood.
    7. What is your favorite curse word? Bugger damn.
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Interior designer.
    9. What profession would you not like to do? Accountant.
    10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? That'll do, pig.