A fuck-and-suck grab bag of vaginas, bed bugs and the overwhelming sense that I exist in a perpetual state of waking death powered by Microsoft Excel.
It's okay, I had an emergency in Ross the other day. I feel ya man. Sometimes when you're eating beans every day, they just up and decide to make their exit at the same time. Luckily Ross had a bathroom, and I had my tablet. All was right with the world.
The grab bag of vaginas sounds kind of awesome, really. I bet just about ANY man could use a carry-and-go Grab Bag Of Vaginas (from your friends at Samsonite). Why was it bad? Money didn't change hands, did it?
You know how Facebook has those sponsored posts on your newsfeed? I just had one that introduced an ad with: "Based on your interests and conversations, you may be interested in tequila." Thanks, Facebook.
Time to vent. I'm reading The Keep by Jennifer Egan. It is billed as a thriller by an award winning novelist. Cousins with a dark secret are brought together in the German countryside to restore a castle with a violent past. OK, cool. Sounds nifty. At least it might be if all the characters weren't contemptible, there was anything close to real tension, and every reveal wasn't spit out in a brief moment of Tourette's-like spasms. This... THIS, is exactly why book sales are in bewildered's proverbial toilet. I haven't read something so boring, ham-fistedly written in a long time. The complete ineptitude of this author is not only excruciating, but outright insulting. People bought this. A lot of people. Even worse, some people thought this was *good*. This dried up crone is a National Book Award Finalist yet can't even write a coherent narrative. Cormac McCarthy gets away without using quotation marks because he is Cormac McFuckingCarthy and is smart enough not to bleed the narration into the quotes. Meanwhile some sweaty psuedo-intellectual with a fatty pubis is ignoring the real talent his company either buried, or shoved off his desk. It's not about marketing dollars either, because they don't market shit. Too hard. Word of mouth and blind stinking luck helped most of the famous writers. There have got to be new, good authors out there. I can only read 50 Shades of Grey so many times.
I guess the great thing about books is you can go back to reading old ones you love instead. That's why we keep 'em on shelves. Some people out there have some real style in doing so as well. Of course not MANY of us have books anymore, because lately there has been a war on books. Nothing against e-readers, but why are libraries closing down? Are that many people getting caught jerking off at the computers? Haven't they seen those masturbation tents we ridiculed on here yet? Then there's this: The #1 book at the library closest to me is the next Hunger Games movie to come out in the theatre. I mean WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN Slightly related: They've stopped teaching cursive writing around here in a lot of schools, because computers apparently killed it. They have denied every future man's right to write his name in the snow. That is fucking Nazi shit. These are the same schools that took away writing with red pens because a big mean red X is just too much for frail minds. Sigh.
I have a tablet but I really hate reading on it. I know, I know, the earliest tablets were the e-readers like the kindles and nooks, but it doesn't feel good on my eyes. Well, actually the nook has a better screen for reading but my nexus is like the love child between a full sized computer and a smart phone. I'd rather have a paperback in my hands to do substantial reading.
Well they're shutting down the liberties because they're expensive and rarely used today. As for cursive, it's because cursive is terrible. Sorry.
You just can't top the feel of a book. It's like a vinyl record obsession, but more defendable. I like vinyl, but can't defend it without sounding like an idiot. Saying an e-reader is better than the actual book is like saying listening to a ghetto blaster is better than seeing the band playing on it live. EDIT: Cursive terrible? How do you sign your cards you fucking ape?
My mom works for a book manufacturer. They used to do over 25 million books a month. Now they do about 8. She is hoping they stay in business until she retires in November. Not too much longer to go. I will miss all the free books. My dad is looking for a piece for his dad's .22 caliber (?) that he inherited. He dropped it off at a local shop to get fixed up and the guy there said he can't find it anywhere. My dad found it on eBay. It's called a Remington Model 12 Shell Lifter but possibly can go by another name. It is $20. Sound reasonable?
Re: Re: It's Pronounced "JIF", Weekend Drunk Thread I'll be pissed when the day comes and you can't buy paper books anymore, I can't read on a tablet, it gives me headaches. I don't agree with getting rid of cursive, I work with a couple of kids that just graduated high school and the handwriting I can barely make out, fucking terrible. Don't get me started on asking one of them to read anything out loud, it's actually painful to listen to.
Fuck cursive writing, I was horrible at it not to mention it nearly always turns into unreadable chicken scrawl. I'm a trady and you need to be able to read what the last tradesman to work on the equipment wrote so I'm fine with block letters. Cursive isn't the solution to shitty handwriting. Mine isn't the greatest but generally when I'm not trying to write fast it's a lot more readable than any doctor's.
Back in college I did all of my essay tests in cursive because I could write faster that way. Pretty much the only time I write in cursive now is when I'm doing two things at the same time in the same notebook. I'll write one in cursive and the other in print so I can tell them apart. I don't really know how that ever started. I spent a decent amount of time working on my penmanship. People with bad handwriting make me question their intelligence, like speaking ebonics (which, despite what the PC-police will tell you, is basically the same way poor, stupid white people talk).
When we moved, my son's school hadn't yet started cursive but his new school was already done with it. He doesn't know how to do it. I have awful cursive handwriting, which I like to blame on being left-handed, but my husband is left-handed and he has beautiful handwriting. But his dad used to make him redo stuff if it wasn't neat. Oh, and the porn industry is getting it all wrong: Spoiler