Today is my birthday. I'm of an age now that it really doesn't matter to anyone but my parents for nostalgia and my girlfriend because she apparently has to do a bunch of shit, instead of me just having a day in peace and quiet. Focus: How do you celebrate your birthday? Does it matter now that you're all old-balls? What are your birthday traditions? For me, I'll go see a movie, eat at a new Brazilian steakhouse and enjoy a nice, sloppy bj. Couple that with a visit to the bookstore and a few presents arriving from Amazon over the next few days, and I'll be pretty happy. If I could just avoid the parade of family members stopping by, since I'm leaving in a couple of days....
I just hosted a multiple birthday party at my house on Saturday - in the fucking rain! I didn't want a party, but the 28th was my oldest son's 21st birthday. I turn 50 tomorrow, my son-in-law turned 30 a couple of weeks ago and my youngest turned 7 on the 23rd. So, three milestone birthdays and you can't ignore the little guy, so a party we had. I had to work my fucking tail off to get the yard and deck ready, set up tents, tables, chairs, etc...only for the skies to open up and pour. Outside party turns into inside party. Beer pong and Flip cup in the garage - my son and his friends can't hang at all! A couple of us old, experienced bastards kicked their collective asses! They all fell asleep watching the Olympics in the family room, while the old folk continued to party until the wee hours of the morning...
It was my birthday back on the 21st, so its fresh in my mind. When I was younger (late teens, early 20s), I just handled it like another day. Having a summer birthday in college was meh, cause I couldn't go get crazy with my friends and I usually just did family stuff. Once I graduated and moved to Chicago, I started getting more into it cause I realized it was a fantastic opportunity to craft a night like I wanted without dealing with typical bullshit and objections which usually lead to your nights being neutered into the same shit over and over. Unfortunately, as a single dude, this usually requires me to plan shit on my own, but its cool. I usually try to make sure at the very least I get a solid dinner with friends in and then do at least one or two night time activities we normally wouldn't do, whether it be a random cool bar or mash a couple of friend groups together that normally wouldn't hang. Not much is really changing as I got older except that I care less about getting as hammered as possible (though that happens still inevitably) and more about making sure my close friends are around. And also, as morbid as it is, your birthday is a good barometer of seeing who your close friends really are, as they make you a priority in some way or at least reach out in some way.
My 27th birthday is two weeks from now to the day, which means that I'm making it a three day weekend and doing dick all on Monday while everyone else is at work. That's the only tradition that I'm going to try to start. If my birthday hugs the weekend, I'm not working. Any other day, I'll be in the office. My buddy is a barber and gets every Monday off, so I'll probably hang with him and go skeet shooting or something. The girl will make a nice dinner, I'll have a little bourbon, have some sex, and go to sleep at a reasonable time so I'm ready for work the next day--like pretty much every other Monday night in the past five years. The flip side of all of that is my buddy's girlfriend who just turned 30 and had a "Birthday Week" made up of three official parties and two bar nights. She is very convinced that the world owes her a constant, dazzling spray of pleasure.
I'm 22, my birthdays as anyone in that age are pretty much an excuse to have a good time. I don't mean "Hey everyone I need a party!" but rather "Hey if anyone needs an excuse to go get wasted on a Wednesday..." Does anyone else get the urge to go up to those girls who wear tiaras and sashes to the bar on their birthday and go "That's just one more year closer to menopause!"
My birthday is Valentines Day, so it kind of sucks. When I'm alone, I don't do muh because all my friends are married/engaged/dating so they have to spend the day accordingly. When I'm a relationship, historically it was spent doing Valentines-type things and even my parents do their own thing. And thats fine, I don't put a ton of stock into my birthday anyway, but my current girlfriend loves to celebrate my birthday and doesn't give a shit about Valentines Day so its been nice the last few years.
Here's an idea: next birthday, go to a grown-up bar. Birthday celebrations are pretty low key, typically dinner out, then cake at home afterwards, followed by hot monkey sex. My wife has tried to pull off a surprise party for me twice, and failed both times (she's not very adept at covering her tracks) and I'm betting she tries again for my 50th in January. (Yes, 50th, but I swear, I don't feel a day over 45).
Didn't we have a thread about this a few months ago? Anyway, I absolutely do not give a shit about birthdays. This year I celebrated my 30th birthday by hanging out at my shop and drinking... Which is what I do most days, so there you have it. The only people who get any sort of present from me for their birthdays are Li'l Bandit, my nieces, and any woman I happen to be dating/banging at the time (or a woman I want to be dating/banging). Everyone else can fuck off. Birthdays... What a bunch of horseshit. And it's not even really your BIRTHDAY, it's an anniversary. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear some kids on my lawn.
I've got a July birthday too, and this is where I've been at the past four years. I usually just go out with my parents and twin brother, we have dinner at a nice place or watch a movie. Now that I've graduated, I'm going to make it a point to reach out to my college friends and not lose touch with them - I'm usually really bad about keeping in contact, so I have to make a conscious effort to avoid that.
My birthday's in January, and I hate winter, so I've never really celebrated my birthday the way I'd ideally like to celebrate it. I couldn't even get damn ice cream cakes when I was younger because the ice cream places would be closed for the winter. The plus side has always been that I get a three day weekend every year for Martin Luther King Day. Technically, my birthday this year was spent the best it could have been spent. My best friend came down from Boston for the weekend. On Friday, I think we just watched TV together and caught up since she came in late. On Saturday, a bunch of us went to a pie cafe for lunch, walked around Williamsburg for the afternoon, and went to Shake Shack for dinner. Then, we went out. On Sunday, my dad came down, he took me to get a present, we went to Katz's for dinner, and then some chocolate place for dessert. All of this was ideal, but it was probably the worst birthday I've had. There was a whole bunch of little shit that went wrong that I don't really remember, but I was unhappy for most of Saturday. Then I discovered that my wallet had been stolen at the bar. But, despite all that, the weekend generally followed my traditions: some combination of friends and family, eating, drinking, and shopping. I'd prefer a birthday at some other part of the year so that I could do a lot more stuff outside.
I was raised a JW so birthdays don't mean all that much to me. I use it just a reason to get everyone together for some drinks which is what we did a few weeks ago for my 35th bday. Since most of my friends are near my age, I'll usually do a two part night for the people who don't want to go out anymore due to kids, family or just being old. This year we went to a baseball game, had some drinks and afterwards went downtown for (a lot) more drinks.
I'm annoyingly neurotic. I actively avoid telling people when it is to avoid getting any sort of fan fare (to the point of having actively lied). Something about getting tons of attention makes me uneasy, and doubly so when I feel like I didn't do anything to earn it.
Growing up my mother/grandparents didn't really celebrate birthdays, so it's always been just another day to me. Last birthday (My 49th) some friends got together and threw me a birthday party...my first. It appears I haven't been missing much, it was a typical weekend night except that everyone took profound joy in singing Happy Birthday and placing a flaming cake in front of me. Meh.
My birthday's at the end of April so it's usually a pretty crazy time at school. The last few years I've had exams and end-of-semester crap, so that's a little blah. Before that, I had about 5 years with a performance falling on my birthday. That was a lot of fun because my friends and I would go out to eat and have a drink afterwards. And, I had a few bouquets of flowers because of said performances so it felt kinda special. As long as I can have a drink or two with dinner I'm happy. I don't care much for sweets, so no cake por favor. I'd rather have sushi or Mexican food!
I fucking love attention. But I also know that is an extremely annoying trait in a grown woman. So I have compromised thusly: your average garden variety birthday merely requires a nice dinner with the husband and wrapped present from him. (It doesn't have to be big or expensive, but for better or worse I am one of those people that sees a present as a gesture that you really care, so he obliges me by getting me something pretty to open.) No attention whoring to the general public, there may be drinks or dinner with my 4 best girlfriends, but nothing big. However, major birthdays I take advantage of. And since I am married, to a very understanding man who likes making me feel awesome, this rests mostly on his shoulders. For my 30th, the following happened: 1) a surprise long weekend for the two of us to NOLA featuring a pitch perfect roster of restaurants and bars, 2) a lovely dinner cooked at home on the actual day, and 3) a surprise party with at least 30 of my very best friends and family including people who flew in from LA and the east coast. This party was the shit, you guys: he rented out a trampoline place for an hour (trampoline dodgeball! I am five) then had a Vietnamese food truck deliver banh mi and other assorted goodies to our house, where we all hung out in our workout clothes from trampolining and ate and drank until very late. In my close group of 5 girlfriends, 3 of us turned 30 within a month of each other. It was kind of a lot of birthday. We have agreed to combine forces in future years. I should also say that I am extremely anti-presents among friends. They lead to present arms races. I am currently embroiled in one of said arms races with 3 college roommates that has been going on since I didn't make a big enough deal of somebody's 22nd birthday in 2004. It is so fucking annoying, we are grownups, we can buy our own shit! I know this doesn't jive with me wanting a present from my husband, but for some reason I find present giving outside of immediate family to be weird and superfluous.
I turned 40 this year and my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I of course wanted to fish, and she wanted to know if I wanted her to fish with me and I did not. The year I turned 39 my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told her I wanted to fish, she inquired if I would like her to join me. The year I turned 38...................... you get the picture. It is hard for my wife to understand, but it bothers her for a few months every year and it is always the same thing. Really you just want to go away and fish for 5 days? You aren't going to bring this up in couples therapy and be all bitter that I did not throw you a party are you? Why don't you want me to fish with you? I do not like birthday parties and if I am out to dinner with people who just have to take me out for my birthday there is to be no singing and no cakes and if there is I will leave. There is a specific age when you need to quit having birthday parties and that is 10, it is not a birthday week, a birthday month. You need to lead an exciting enough life where a day on the calendar doesn't make you put on a hat and act likea fucktard. Besides that I love birthdays.
When I was about 15, I started telling people that I was 25 so I could get into bars. I'm not sure why, but people believed me. I was kinda big for a 15 year old - but it just seems laughable looking back. I stuck with the fake 25 age until I was about 21, then basically just didn't mention my age. I started feeling a bit like my 20's were almost over and I was getting old when I turned 27 so I made a joke that I was turning 25 again. That joke gained momentum and now it's a thing. I turn 25 every year. I throw a party with loud music and lights and jello shots and it's a good time. It's basically the same as every other weekend for my broader group of friends - in that there's a party at someone's house and we do what we do every weekend. About 6 or 7 times a year, the party is at my house. One of those times will be for my birthday. This year we're doing a 'Dusk till Dawn' theme - where we dress like bikers, truckers, vampires and strippers, quote lines from the movie, refer to my house as 'The Titty Twister', do drunken renditions of the pussy for a penny speech and possibly run around with a super soaker full of 'holy water'. The older I get, the less relevant the birthday itself feels. It's just an assisting factor in choosing the theme for the party.