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Is Maryville the Next Steubenville?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Oct 15, 2013.

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  1. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
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    Here's an actual real quote from some mouth breathing mongoloid. Of course it wouldn't surprise me if it were a troll.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. shimmered

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    I recognize the conversation was fictional.

    The reality is that some people genuinely believe that the girl asked for it. Or any victim asked for it. I don't care about the fake conversation. I care about the fact that real people actually have that viewpoint.
     
  3. dewercs

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    MSNBC just did a piece on this story and it looks like it has legs as it should.

    My feeling is if you are going to rape a girl you should not leave her out in the cold to die, you at least have to throw her in the front door and run.
     
  4. FreeCorps

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    It's good to see that the good ol boy network can get blown wide open through the internet.
     
  5. dieformetal

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    Speaking of completely missing the point (to put it mildly)....

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/10/sexual_assault_and_drinking_teach_women_the_connection.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/ ... ction.html</a>
     
  6. shimmered

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    A few years ago I was at a strip club, one of the all nude kind. We brought in a couple of six packs and were sitting around chatting, talking to a friend who worked there.
    We were seated at a round table, and behind me, at another table, facing the same direction was a guy who was drinking Patron Silver.
    About an hour and a half into the day (yes, it was day time...you can imaging the scenery at an all nude daytime strip club in Dallas), I was mid-sentence when the guy leapt across his table and tackled me and started groping me.

    Not a cocktail waitress or stripper. Me. Out of nowhere.

    He was ripped off of me and the situation handled, but later on I was recounting the story to a friend and the first thing he said to me was, 'Damn, J, what were you wearing???'


    Because somehow, what I was wearing was relevant to whether I should have been tackled by some random asshole at a titty bar.
    spoiled for story time.

    I don't know how to change what's going on with people right now. I just know that I'm teaching my kids that boundaries and respect are expected at all times.
     
  7. Clutch

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    I don't believe that those people actually exist in large numbers. More often you get the following...

    What is actually said: "I'm less surprised when bad things happen to people who put themselves in riskier situations than I am when bad things happen to more cautious people."
    What people choose to hear: "anyone not wearing a burka is a dumb slut who deserves to be raped, lol."
     
  8. shimmered

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    What's a risky situation, exactly?


    Is a risky situation putting gas in my car while wearing lulu leggings and a tank top?

    Because I've had creepers roll up then.


    Is it sitting at a bar wearing boots and jeans and a t-shirt?

    Because as I mentioned earlier, I've been literally physically attacked then, and it's happened in a strip club and it's happened at the local honky tonk some friends and I go to sometimes...so it can't be because it was in a strip club vs a regular club.


    Is it working out and lifting weights, focusing on my work, instead of talking to people around me?
    Because creepers don't give a shit about that either.


    Tell me.
    You tell me.

    What do I wear or do or drink that says "HEY DON'T FUCKING RAPE ME/ATTACK ME/TOUCH ME!" in the loudest, clearest, and most defined voice?

    A wedding ring? That doesn't make a difference.
    Sweats and a t-shirt?

    What?
    What do I do?




    Or, how about males who do this NOT FUCKING DO IT because IT ISN'T RIGHT? How about that? How about the perpetrators of this behavior not be fucking pigs and roll up and touch and creep on women, and not PERSIST after they're rejected? How hard is THAT?


    /sorry for the shouty capitals. I'm hungry, under caffeinated, and PMSy.
     
  9. Danger Boy

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    Risky for me, if I happen to be driving by and crash into a light pole.
     
  10. Jimmy James

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    There needs to be some kind of personal responsibility and more importantly, better parenting. But if you're a young girl at a party with a bunch of other drunk teenagers (emphasized to point out the inherent stupidity of that age group), you need to not put yourself in that situation. Specifically by either A: not going, or B: not drinking.

    Before anybody tries to crucify me, I'm not blaming the victim. Nobody is ever asking to be raped. But instead of putting yourself in a situation WHERE IT COULD HAPPEN, it might make better sense to avoid it in the first place.

    Edit: Got this in rep:
    The double standard blows, but given the choice between moderation and/or abstaining and having another person's part of their anatomy forcibly inside me, the former doesn't look like such a bad choice.
     
  11. gamecocks

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    That's the ticket there. While we would like to live in a society where these things don't happen and would prefer everyone to be able to do what they want without fear, that is not reality.
     
  12. shimmered

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    Where is that magical situation?
     
  13. Frank

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    Ok, but would you have thought this way at 14 and in the moment? Of course not, these guys were probably her friends too and she probably thought she was totally safe.
     
  14. FreeCorps

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    Good lord. Way to miss the fucking point and make it totally about you. Although I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

    Absolutely, yes, there are many, MANY scumbags out there who don't stop. It isn't right, and it isn't fair and it should never, EVER happen. NOBODY IS ARGUING WITH YOU ABOUT THIS. All the situations you just threw out there were out of your control, and it's a shitty world we live in where things like that happen. But they do unfortunately happen.

    Victim shaming is a terrible, horrible thing. In no context should any girl ever be made to feel as if they were "asking for it". However, as we are wont to do, it seems that we swing completely the opposite way and basically say that the world should be full of rainbows and kittens and that you should be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. Unfortunately there are bad people out there and that's just the reality we live in.

    I know DieforMetal mockingly posted an article, but unfortunately it does have its salient points. Sexual assault is such a charged subject that it seems it can never be discussed rationally, but all the author was saying is that because we live in a shitty world you should do your best to protect yourself. Is is terrible that as a woman you might have to do that, and that you have a million things to think about that I as a man don't have to? Absolutely. But I have encountered situations that were similar.

    When I lived in central redneck florida, should I have been able to walk by myself where ever I wanted whenever I wanted? Absolutely. But there were parts that were predominantly white and racist, and I as a Latin man avoided them. Did I still have some shitty situations through no fault of my own? Of course. Hell I was shot at once simply for being hispanic. For "fun".

    Should anyone ever get mugged? Absolutely not. But if you throw on an Armani suit and a Rolex and walk down a bad neighborhood at 2 am, bad shit might happen.

    Should anyone ever be robbed? Absolutely not. But we lock our doors.

    Again, should the things that happened to you have happened? Never. Of course not. But that's completely apart from this case where this poor girl put herself in a bad situation where alcohol and testosterone fueled privileged scumbags could take advantage of her. I hope they pay because that should never happen. But better education and parental guidance could prevent something like this from happening in the first place.
     
  15. Jimmy James

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    I think there is a difference between minding your own business and having a freak tackle you in a strip club, and getting hammered to the point of incoherence around a bunch of guys you may not know in some random's house. I'm a 31 year old guy and I wouldn't even do that now.

    I don't know enough about who was involved to say either way. What I do know is that based on how I was raised, I wouldn't have put myself in that situation. Even at 14, I knew the difference between a good friend of mine and being friendly with some guy I've seen in the hallways at school.
     
  16. Parker

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    I'd just like to say we should not blame this on Friday Night Lights. There are plenty of high school situations where this unfortunate even occurs regardless if the guy is an athlete or not. There are towns like this where players are treated better than everyone else, but their coaches/parents are teaching them to be decent people so they can get into colleges and have better lives.

    And to add in with FreeCorps, protecting yourself is important. And let's be fair here, there are millions of examples of shit guys to do other guys when they get drunk that can't be prosecuted (or just won't be). Shit happens all the time of guys getting passed out drunk, their friends sticking things where they don't belong and leaving them outside in forms of undress. Don't be around drunk douchebags when you can avoid it. Well, get drunk, just not blackout drunk where you can't control the situation.
     
  17. CharlesJohnson

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    The chance of a girl being raped doesn't instantly stop once she's 21. It probably increases. It doesn't stop just because she's sober walking home from the grocery store at night either. Are they supposed to not go anywhere, ever? Parenting has nothing to do with a kid going out with her friends to a party with other friends to get sloshed, just like everyone else did.

    This attitude is shitty. "If you don't want to get raped, don't go anywhere near where there is a possibility of being raped." Repeat that in your head. It's ridiculous. How about guys stop fucking raping drunk girls trying to have fun?

    Instead of the victim having personal responsibility how about we impose accountability on the rapist or the parents that raised them? It's still blaming the victim for being somewhere she had every right to be in at any intoxication level.
     
  18. shimmered

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    I spoke to my experiences because I can't and won't speak to the experiences other females have had. If you perceive that as 'making it about [me]', that's unfortunate.

    I agree - bad people and situations are everywhere. The girl wasn't thinking of her own protection when she snuck out like she did. The girl's mother definitely failed her, I don't argue that.

    But, I again ask, what is a female supposed to do? When seemingly "normal" situations are almost as "unsafe" as situations we can all agree are risky, what does a female do?

    Does a female keep her head down and duck for cover because literally every situation seems to be an invitation for unwanted attention?
    What is reasonable for a female to do? Are females supposed to walk around with their pepper spray out and simply be prepared to spray the shit out of every male they come across?

    How sad is that? How sad is it that males live in a world where they have to be viewed as untrustworthy and potentially dangerous because females genuinely don't know who isn't and is a scumbag anymore?
     
  19. Clutch

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    No one is denying that creepy guys exist. Regular guys don't like them either. I guarantee that if your strip club was like any I've ever been to, that story ends with him getting the shit kicked out of him by a very large man in a very tight t-shirt.

    I'm skeptical of the gym story because you were likely sounded by plenty of lunkheads willing to play the white night. Or are we playing the game where the only difference between flirting and harassment is whether the girl likes you or not?
     
  20. gamecocks

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    This goes to Free Corps above about how we can't have a rational discussion about it. No one said what you're quoting. Obviously people shouldn't do these horrible things, but we have to acknowledge that it does happen and plan accordingly. It's a shitty, horrible, messed up world we live in.
     
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