I wonder how everyone would react if I grabbed that baseball bat/crowbar/pipe/table leg and started bashing skulls in?
Sometimes during the long pauses in church I want to let out an extremely loud fart, hear it echo, then blame it on the priest. I also imagine shooting pretty much every squirrel I see and think where I'd have to aim based on the distance, wind, angle, etc.
There are times when I'm sitting down to eat and my mind decides to remind me of gross. disgusting things I've seen or read about, like I'll sit down for chicken and dumplings and I'll flash the pudding scene in Dead Alive in my mind's eye. Fucking traitor.
I wonder how far I can push sexual depravity with that homeless person for some cash? #JustChristmasThings
Constantly. "I could trip with this tray of glasses and they would all break and stab me in the chest and face. I don't think I'd want to live with scarred up boobs and face." "I could fall down these stairs and all my teeth would get knocked out. Then I'd need a new job. I wonder if I'd be smarter with less teeth." "I could drive this car right off this cliff. I'd go to the hospital and they'd shoot me up with morphine. And maybe I'd lose both my arms and have to learn to write a book about my accomplishments with my nose." "If I had a gun I could shoot this person's tires out. Also their face."
I have what I consider the classics: "Could I take this cop's gun off of him before he pepper sprays\tasers\beats me to death with his night stick?" "How hard would it be to open this airplane door at 30,000 ft?" "I'm pretty sure I could commit felony XYZ and not get caught."