Focus: What turns you on? A girl that is outgoing and dishes out flirty sarcasm/digs at me makes it tough for me to stand up due to the tent I'm pitching. For me, I'm willing to overlook a lot of things if her personality is just that. My brand of humor is purely reactionary, and a personality like that makes a perfect match for me. If she plays a little hard to get, it's game over. Yes, I am a masochist. Physically, it's girls that are hourglass shaped. I'll take "Girls Whose Cups Runneth Over" for $1000, Alex. Anti-Focus: What turns you off? Girls that are way too clingy and needy. I ended things with a FWB because she'd text me or IM me all the time, mostly about how much the people at her worked were all against her. I decided that I'd rather she not give me the best head of my life instead of dealing with her incessant bullshit.
Socks are so gauche. If she doesn't dig my Killer Bunny slippers, that's a turn-off, and she's gone. After the blow-job, of course.
Frankly, I prefer these: Spoiler Because I give throat-hugs to boys who do dishes and mop the kitchen floor.
Turn Ons I wonderful personality and a good sense of humor, I always see beyond the physical because I know its what's on the inside that counts........ J/k, a pretty face is important to me and so is the fact that she be in reasonably good shape. I figure I keep myself in good condition so she should to. Also if she is confident and can handle herself, that drives me crazy. Turn Offs Over the top girly girls, I love a girl who takes care of herself and looks good but you will never see me with a women who is overly consumed with that stuff. Also overly politically opinionated women, I am a moderate and generally don't engage in political conversations because they are about as useful as stubbing your toe. Finally the damsel in distress, I hate women who need to be saved. I've had to cover for my mom over many years and have developed quite a low tolerance for women who are incompetent/stupid, this probably explains my last turn on.
On:* Cleavage, side boob, sexy midriff, cowboy hats, daisy dukes, whispering in/ nibbling on my ear, availability, inability to get pregnant or transmit disease, athleticism. Off: High-waisted dresses, those shorts that fall in between capri pants and bermuda short length, fupa, over-sized sunglasses (especially white), fat, bitchiness without cause, mustard yellow shirts, complicated food ordering. *Since apparently there's a need to clarify, these turn-ons for me apply to women only.
Turn-offs: Cutesiness (I will not do shit for you just because you talk in a baby voice), humorlessness, assholishness. Turn-ons: Intelligence, humor, kindness, wearing-of-thin-clingy-pantsness. Example:
Thank you for reminding me. Baby talk/voice, will get you an immediate boot out the door and out of my mind. It's not only annoying as shit, it's overtly manipulative.
On: I've gotta second power exchange. Also dudes with nice eyes and cute smiles who have tattoos and piercings and have a good sense of style will do the trick. I also really dig wearing lingerie; it makes me feel about 3.6 times sexier than I usually do. Off: Dudes who know how good-looking they are.
This is a solid topic. But even more interesting is what turn-ons are "necessary". Everyone seems to want and intelligent girl who is confident, then I see them dating an airhead with daddy issues who has the confidence of an emo kid. Turn ons: -quick wit/sense of humor. I'm sarcastic, give it back to me -intense eyes -bit darker skin tone -headbands, for some reason those stretchy athletic headbands slay me -belly button rings -a sense of calm and comfort and can hold her own socially -owning your own attractiveness. I've dated a few girls who were quite attractive but either dressed like idiots or had no confidence. One was a former dancer who wore high waisted mom jeans cause she though she was fat. She had a really cool tramp stamp that was honestly covered by her pants almost completely, that's how high they were...bye bye ass related sex appeal turn offs: -apathy towards any choices. "I don't care" doesn't make you easy going, it makes you boring and annoying -not speaking up when things bother you -sloppy bodies. I've seen "thick" girls who absolutely own it and are sexy and thin girls who are a bit out of shape who are completely unappealing. The difference is shocking -similarly, not caring about your health. You don't need to be a workout freak, but take care of yourself. Hearing a girl with a good body brag about not working out and eating poorly, I shudder thinking of how she'll look when she's not 22 and in her prime -tooth and overall weak oral skills. Hold on, you had two long term boyfriends and you still feel like a lamprey. Fuck those guys
Turn ons - Passion, beauty, uniqueness, control, an audience. I have some pre-requisites for any person I'm going to connect with as more then acquaintances. A sense of humour and an open mind. At least an average intellect. I'm a snob that way. But they're not turn ons as much as just things that have to be there before I can treat someone as a person, letalone a turn on. I can't stay interested in someone who isn't passionate about something. I don't really care what, but there has to be something that drives them and makes them interesting for me to have any kind of focus. And having that passion for something awesome is a huge, huge turn on. Writers, fetishists, artists, musicians, whatever. Hot. A fanatic obsessive pashion for green day? not so much. But in general it's awesome. Beauty is obvious. But I really don't understand people with a 'type' - Slender, curvy, great asses, great legs, great tits, amazing faces, incredible body mods? All fucking beautiful. Any of them in any combination of presence or absence of the others will turn me on if the product is beautiful. I have no idea how anyone can limit themselves to 'one'. Uniqueness is a big thing for me. And by uniqueness I mean more in my frame of reference than anything else. Someone with the biggest tits/the best ass/awesome body modifications I haven't seen before/an ethnicity or a height range I haven't tried before and the like are huge turn on prospects. In general, people who are shorter/taller/otherwise different to 'average' have a huge appeal. Red hair, or a hair colour that doesn't occur in nature adds huge points. In part it's a pokemonistic 'gotta catch em all' sort of thing - but I've always been more drawn to people who are outside of the norm in some way. Sexual acts that are unusual also have a lot of bonus points. People with interesting personal stories, and outfits that aren't normal also work for me. I talk about my kinks a lot, but the consensual power exchange dynamic is a huge turn on, and control is at the core of what pushes my buttons. I like hurting people. I like restraining them. I like exercising the control and the power that we've exchanged. I know fundamentally, that my partner can withdraw consent at any time and I'll stop - and the control thing is illusory and based on trust and mutual consent - but it's still fucking hot. An audience is the one of my kinks that doesn't come down to control I guess. I'm not just into being watched, I'm into people enjoying the performance. I'm into doing things that impress people because I get off on them being impressed. I like doing cool and showy and flashy things where people can see so that they'll admire what I'm doing. I completely get off on the crowd's response. The more the crowd wish they could be like me, the more I get off on it. I recognise just how much insecurity and vanity that implies - but meh, it's still fucking hot. Turn offs - apathy, negativity, boredom. Apathy from my partner or from my audience will at first inspire me to ramp up the performance - but if I don't get some enthusiasm - I lose interest fairly quickly. If whoever I'm interacting with isn't into it - we might as well try again some other time. If someone is apathetic about everything, including me? no interest in them at all really. Negativity is just a ramped up version of apathy I guess. But it's a bit more pervasive. I might put up with an apathetic person who was into me. Vanity shines through again... but a negative person? Generally or specifically about something that impacts my experience? Complete turn off. Cheer up and we'll try again. Someone who turns me on a whole bunch for other things who's negative might be worth the effort to try and cheer them up a bit - but debbie downer needs to be pretty fucking awesome in all other ways before I'd not just want to walk away. And I get that everyone's negative sometimes - it's just I usually don't want to fuck them at those moments - and if the negativity goes on, and on, and on, I probably won't ever want to fuck them enough to deal with that. I'm an ADD kid. I can't stand being bored. I can't focus and I certainly don't get turned on by it. Boring sex is just blah. Sex with a boring partner is just blah. Sometimes I get turned on by being bored so that sex or the pursuit of sex can be my entertainment - but boredom in general is just a huge turn off.
Turn-ons: Intelligence. I hate dumb girls, even if they are the easiest to trick and manipulate. I just recently gave online dating a crack and one thing I've noticed is that if they can't spell or write in SMS-speak I won't even bother trying to get in touch. Sense of humour. Bonus points if they like the odd sick joke. Those dimple things that appear on women's lower backs when they're on all fours. Platinum blonde straightened hair. Big sun glasses. Track/sweat pants Alternative girls; the odd tattoo, multiple piercings, that sort of thing. Which is odd because I don't follow that style myself whatsoever. Creative types - artsy or muso women. In fact, women with a passion about anything. Too many consider watching The Hills their passion, and they are infuriating. Short women, around 6 inches shorter will do. It must be the ability to throw them around easily or something that I like. Ladies who aren't afraid to voice what they want. Turn-offs: Did I mention stupid girls? Girls who think the world should be served to them on a platter because they have a pussy. This includes the feminazi powerful woman types who not-so-secretly hate men but disguise it as empowerment. Women who make that duck face in every photo they take. High rise jeans that basically go past their belly buttons. I think it adds at least 10 years to your perceived age. Women who rip into their friends behind their backs. I do realise this is very common, but seriously - I don't give a rat's arse about all the girls you don't like. Negative or pessimistic girls.
In general, what turns me on is humour. I can't imagine what life would be like for someone who doesn't actively seek out laughs on a regular, even daily, basis. The 'surprise' punchline of a good joke is just so rewarding, and I consider humour to be one of our most human characteristics. I really like Kurt Vonnegut's explanation of jokes, saying: "Jokes work by hooking and releasing the listener, causing the release of fight-or-flight chemicals through laughter", along with: "The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful." I guess the converse of this turn-on would be 'seriousness'. I admit I sometimes don't take things serious enough, but I'd argue that taking things too seriously all the time is much more harmful than being able to laugh at anything, most importantly, yourself. This would apply for my turn-ons with girls, too. If you don't (or worse, can't) laugh at yourself on a regular basis, I'm not gonna stay interested very long. And while a girl doesn't need to be particularly funny herself to get my attention, she has to be willing/able to laugh at anything (provided it's an actual good joke, obviously). Another turn off I've discovered recently (for people in general and girls I'm potentially attracted to) is people who talk about people. I mean, I could talk about Jessica Alba or Wayne Gretzky all day, but when someone talk ONLY about other people -- whether it's a friend, celebrity, whatever -- my eyes glaze over pretty quick. I don't know much about Elanor Roosevelt, and I wouldn't say I have a great mind, but I've always done my best to follow a great quote of hers: "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." Also, back dimples.
Oh my God yes, on all three of those. In addition to those, lack of self confidence is another big turn off for me. Turn On's: For the non-physical side of things, I don't have many specific turn on's. The only thing I can think of really is a confident, outgoing, sociable personality. That's really the best way I can put it. Someone who will speak their mind and is not a vain, shallow, vacuous bitch. On the physical side, I've always paid close attention to how a girl dresses. Very feminine, classy style has always been a big turn on for me. Specifically high heel's, shoes are one of the first things I'll notice about a girl, and high heels are probably my single biggest turn on. So much so that I've even bought my girlfriend at least two pairs so far in an attempt to get her to wear them more often.