One of my favorite television shows of all-time is Inside The Actors Studio. For those who aren't aware: it's a sit-down interview with various actors (and a few directors), conducted by James Lipton, in which "actors cease being stars for a while and become artists and teachers." At the end of every interview, Lipton will ask his guest the same ordered list of 10 questions. I've felt for a while that it would be fun to do a variation of that questionnaire on this board for a week. Its open-ended nature would be sure to provide some interesting responses. Today, we explored Lipton's standard first 2 questions: favorite and least favorite words. It produced some great feedback - most notably, a split verdict on the word 'moist.' The next pair of inquiries are a bit more ambiguous; interpret them however you like. Focus: What turns you on? Anti-Focus: What turns you off? Whether it's because of an unhealthy culture, a part of human nature, or simply my own pessimism, I find that most people I meet are too self-absorbed for their own good. Therefore, I'd say my biggest turn-on would be empathy. It's very refreshing whenever I meet someone who genuinely takes others' wants and needs into consideration. A close second choice would be humility; life's too short for grand posturing. Oh, and Latinas. I'm a sucker for a great set of thighs. On the flip side, opposite of humility, I'm greatly turned off by arrogance. I appreciate confidence, and a portion of it is certainly required to function properly, but too much of it is unhealthy - as it goes for anything taken to excess - and borders on hubris. Few things rattle my cage like someone who's too invested in their own self-worth.
What turns me on is people posting good thread suggestions to the suggestions board. What turns me off is people doing it like they're hosting a television show. My show. Spoiler Nah, just fucking with you. Keep'em coming.
Turn On: Contradiction. I don't like it when people, if they were a fictional character, could be described as a "two-dimensional character" that's defined by one type of trait or hobby or something along those lines. I get intrigued when a guy has some unexpected contradiction because it makes them more interesting and exciting. The easiest example I can think of at this hour is the Marine who's also a baker. Also, scruff. Turn Off: Close-mindedness. I hate it when a guy isn't open to other points of view or never wants to try new things. It's frustrating and incredibly boring. Also, when that scruff is just a mustache.
What turns you on? Self-confidence without being an asshole What turns you off? Negativity So should I just answer all of James Lipton's questions now, or wait for each of them to be posted separately? Just so you don't have to go searching: [*]What sound or noise do you love? [*]What sound or noise do you hate? [*]What's your favorite curse word [*]What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? [*]What profession would you not like? [*]If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when she arrives at the Pearly Gates?
On Bubbly; outgoing; expressive. I can be somewhat of a reserved, dour and sarcastic person, so someone that can balance me out is incredibly exciting. Also, I want a woman that challenges me. Maybe it's because my formative first LTR graduated at the top of her class from Bitch Finishing School - but a pushover doesn't do anything for me. Gimme a woman that will roar back when I'm being an ass, and bitch me out when I deserve it. I'm looking for someone to watch my back through thick and thin, and I want to know she can put up a fight. Of course, this are all assuming she's hot to begin with. Off Back when WikiLeaks first released the US diplomatic cables, I ended up in a conversation about Julian Assange with a woman where I work. Up until now, she had been pressing all the right buttons and had me contemplating dipping my pen in the company ink. But after it came out that we fell on completely different sides of this issue, my attraction to her almost completely evaporated. I still wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but any possibility of something more serious than that was gone. I'm still shocked at how quickly my subconscious overruled ever other opinion I had formed about her.
Turn Ons: I'll second self-confidence without being arrogant. Having the self-confidence to get what you want without expecting it is a great quality to have. Also, someone who gets my sense of humor. I have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor and most people I first meet can't tell if I'm being serious or joking. Someone who can pick up on my sarcasm right away is someone I want to be friends with. Even better if they can dish it back. Turn Offs: People who say they want you to be honest with them, but then cry when you are. Also, people who ask for your help/advice but then argue with you when you give it to them. I'm getting angry just thinking about it. I'm sure there's a fancy term for these type of people, but I can't think of it at the moment. Another HUGE turn off is dirty fingernails. I see a guy with dirty fingernails and I gag.
On: empathy, people who are passionate, sensibility, big, goofy, German guys named Dirk. Off: selfishness, people who are closed-minded, self-importance, abuse of power/authority.
In case anyone else is wondering the same thing: the idea is to separate the questions in a way that'll produce constructive discussions; otherwise, we'd all just be posting boring surveys. 1-2 questions at a time leaves room for answers to be expanded and become more interesting.
On : Down to earth, good sense of humor, some sort of passion or goals, intelligent, a nice smile, and big bonus points if she is a hockey fan. Off: Needy, unadventurous, lack of respect for others. The respect thing is huge for me. I see many people around my age (I'm 22) that have no respect for anything they have a huge sense of entitlement and don't give a shit about anyone else. This turns me off more than anything.
Turn ons: Give me my shit back to me. Engage me, challenge me, play with me. Awesome. Smell does it for me too. Still haunted by some smells. A good perfume, shampoo, a natural smell that I could breathe in for hours (no creeper). Those things never get old no matter how long you know someone. I'd go back to her no matter what she did just for that. Eye contact is serious business; goes along with respect and trust. Loyalty to lovers and friends alike is a must. READERS. God, you read a real book and you want me to read it too? Excuse me while I change my shorts. Nice lips don't hurt either. There's a type you want to be around because she's beautiful, a unique beauty that is interminable (heh), almost unexplainable. People are just drawn to her. Then you realize she is empathetic, warm, sincere, funny, driven. Beauty without that is useless in the long run; it makes her shine even brighter. Now it'd be impossible to imagine your life without her. Because she's everything you need and that shit is like a rare bird only a few know how to capture. She better know the difference between HDL and LDL cholesterol too. Turns offs: No communication skills. Those subtle little hints to let me know you're angry or bothered or want me to do something, are complete bullshit. I may pick up on a lot, but I am not a mind reader. Elucidate yourself like an adult because I am one of the least judgmental people you'll find. Also, rudeness. Dismissive, catty, or just plain lack of manners. People that are unjustly rude to others tend to allow that to seep into all aspects of their life. Whiners, too. Whining while we're out, whining about useless crap, blah blah blah. This comes out of people that either have no hobbies or refuse to put in effort to improve themselves.
On: Physically, I like the suicide girls types. Tattoos and piercings are fucking hot. I also seem to have inherited my Dad's taste in women. I love me a petite athletic brunette. Mentally, I'm all about a girl that's smart and self confident, good sense of humor, and some overlap of interest into traditionally guy things. The girl I'm sort of seeing right now knows WAY more about baseball than I do. I still don't particularly care about baseball, but I find it sexy that she does. Off: Arrogance and entitlement. Having no opinions on anything. Lack of common sense. No fat chicks.
Turn Ons: Power. Especially if they are a drug kingpin, a corrupt political official, or a Viking warrior. Turn Offs: Lack of responsibility.
Wait, aren't you just supposed to know? Or are you supposed to sample both cock and pussy before making your decision?
Millions of years of evolution. Focus: Boobs. Serious answer: intelligence. If I think that you might be smarter than me, I will become your little bitch. Because it's rare enough that I notice (and even the ones that are smart tend to be socially conditioned to keep quiet, because society-wide standards are dumb like that). Talent. If you're really, really good at something (particularly something in a creative field, because I'm most definitely NOT good at those), I will be so impressed that I'll make you the sandwiches. Disagreeing with me. I mean, hopefully not 100% of the time. But a woman who has no issue having an intellectual debate with me, or telling me that I'm being an idiot? yes please. Sense of humor. Now, when most guys say this, they don't actually mean it. They don't actually care whether you're funny or not. "Have a sense of humor" is usually a euphenism for "Laugh at all my jokes regardless of merit or offensiveness, so that I can feel better about myself." And while that's nice and all....I legitimately want a girl who can make me laugh so hard that I almost piss myself. A lot of this can be summed up as "Be worthy of people's respect" and/or "Be awesome." As far as sexual stuff, a girl who knows what she wants and/or will occasionally take control gives me a big ol' hard one. Which is why I'm kind of disappointed that I've typically been the dominant one w/ people I've been with.
Turn Ons: Outgoing and down to earth. Broad? Yes. Easy to find? No. Also girls that know when to just leave me alone. Looks wise for the past few years the athletic girl look has made it hard to workout while having a rock hard boner. Tank top, gym shorts, and the bright colored squishy cross trainer shoes just get me going. Something about those shoes can make a girls legs looks perfect (almost hyper extended sort of). Watch an Insanity workout video for perfect examples. Turn offs: Girls that are only consumed with gossip and shallow bullshit. My older brother's girl might be an 8 or 9 but she literally never talks about anything but how slutty her best friend is and how many different guys she is stringing along. THAT.IS.IT. I like girls that do girl things, which can include a little gossip, hell having that side gets them away long enough not to get fed up with them. But when they bring that shit around ALL THE TIME, it makes me want to puke.
Well then how the fuck do you expect us to keep our tootsies warm when we're getting blown? Focus: Turn-ons: Being HIV-negative, being alive. Turn-offs: bad breath and bad teeth, acne, a gut, idiotic political idealism