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Inside the TiB Studio: STATION!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, May 27, 2011.

  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    The White

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    And to finish out the week...

    I would like to thank Rob4Broncos for kicking this week's running thread series off. Have at them!

    FOCUS: What profession would you not like to do?
    ALT FOCUS: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
     
  2. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I'll give blowjobs on the corners of Harlem for free before I ever do this bullshit:



    "Girls are to the right, sports bar's to the left. Here's a shot and a blunt, now kick off your shoes and go have some fucking fun!"
     
    #2 Rob4Broncos, May 27, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  3. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    I thought it was Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates...

    But I digress,

    Focus: I never want to have to ever work in the food service or restaurant industry. It seems like a hellish and disgusting job and I give mad props to those who do it.
     
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    19,726
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    Focus:
    Performing artificial insemination on animals. Serisouly, who gets the ambition and burns a career path just to perform the most disgusting job on the entire planet?

    Alt-Focus
    Sure, we have weed, and Sharon Tate is making eyes at you right now.
     
  5. BL1Y

    BL1Y
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Focus: Bullshit government paper pushing. I'll take free money from the government for doing nothing, but I'm sure as hell not going to work to get money from the government for doing nothing.

    Alt-Focus: So...it turns out that eternal damnation and infinite pain isn't quite proportional to the crime of not friending my son on Facebook. You can't get into Heaven, but there's a nice beach down the road where you'll get an occasional sunburn, and they only have ice cream in two flavors.
     
  6. hooker

    hooker
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    God better say, "Lady, you can have all the sex you want up here - without fear of disease, pregnancy, or being labeled a whore."
     
  7. rei

    rei
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    Location:
    Guelph, ON
    FOCUS:
    Anything in a meat processing plant, largely due to the smell.. and not always of the meat. The gas they pump into the bulk packages to keep it fresh is the most vile smell ever.

    ALT FOCUS: "Well Ash, lucky for you it's Atheists Get In Free Night"
     
  8. iczorro

    iczorro
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    The Island
    Focus: Any kind of customer service, specifically retail, even more specifically food service. Fuck those jobs in the ear. I haven't done any of that in the decade plus since I graduated highschool, and I just no longer have the temperment for it. I spent long enough in the Navy that I'm pretty sure I would end up graphically swearing at people in front of their small children.

    Alt Focus: You were wrong, I do exist. But you're good people anyway, so come on in.
     
  9. Josh

    Josh
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    Village Idiot

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    Focus: I hate to reiterate what's already been said, but any job where you deal with the general public is absolute hell. In high school I worked the switchboard at a small rural hospital, and even at that level it was insane sometimes. Women would assume I was a doctor when I answered (why the hell would a doctor be answering the main incoming line at a hospital?) and launch into graphic descriptions of their ladyparts problems before I could stop them. People would call and be blind with rage over some (usually perceived) discrepancy with their bill and act like I personally was responsible and probably did it intentionally, regardless of how many times I tried to interrupt their shouting to let them know I was transferring them to the billing department. Being a small hospital, I was the only operator, so if for some reason the person I transferred them to didn't pick up, they would call back and get me again, only amplifying their anger.

    Alt Focus: "Keg's in the back. Cups are free."
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Focus- Anything in finance. God damn the minutia in that field bored me to tears when I was in business school. Fuck a corporate gig where you had to do that AND deal with bullshit office politics.

    Alt Focus: "There are two rooms, one where everyone lives in a perpetual state of orgasm, everyone get's their own cot to quiver and foam at the mouth on while a big tittied girl rides them, and the other room no one has ever chosen. I actually dont even know whats in there."
     
  11. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    FOCUS: Anything where I'm not left to my own devices. Unrealistic, yeah. Here's to the lottery or inheriting a vineyard from a long lost relative. True death would be an office. It's like purgatory without the sweet release of damnation. Dealing with those sycophants and the phony small talk and the constant surveillance. Makes my skin crawl. Every hour retire to the bathroom for a 10 minute piss, then wash your hands and arms to the elbow like you're preparing for surgery, then excavate a few blackheads for good measure. Anything to kill time where each second is eternal. The thought of returning to your desk to stare at that screen, or the phone, leaves you seconds away from bursting into tears. Or seconds from cracking someone's skull with the computer monitor you're swinging by the wire above your head with a biblical fury.


    ALT FOCUS: "Everyone gets the first punch in free. I kind of have it coming."
     
  12. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
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    What profession would you not like to do?
    cat food quality control
    If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
    "You are dreaming. Wake up"
     
  13. JWags

    JWags
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    Holy fuck. That video made me all quivery. No safety ropes? Are you fucking kidding me? And can you imagine going down? Thats even worse. Those have to be death row inmates doing that shit. Everytime the camera moved a bit I jumped and thought the guy was falling. And thanks horrifically monotone narrator for making it all seem like no big deal.

    FOCUS: Door to door sales. I did a stint in sales and cold calling was bad enough. But I interviewed for a job I didn't realize was cold calling door to door at offices. And while I shadowed and had to evade building security trying to kick us out, I realized that waking up to do that daily would be my own personal hell. No thank you.

    Alt-Focus: Welcome. Once a month you and all the other low-key believers get to beat the hell out of the obnoxious Bible thumpers and uber conservative freaks like Howard Camping who gave us a bad name, and the urinals flow right onto Bill Maher and other smug religion trashing asshats. The lesson my child? Believe what you want, but don't be a condescending dismissive cocksucker about it.
     
    #13 JWags, May 27, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. Jimmy James

    Jimmy James
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    What profession would you not like to do?

    Video game tester would ruin them for me forever. Playing the same level of the latest movie tie-in video game 500 hundred times just to break something would make me jam a controller up my ass.


    If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
    "How'd you make it here?" followed by uproarious laughter from the Almighty.
     
  15. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    Focus: landscaping or any kind of yard work. I know, pretty lame, but I have always hated, really hated doing yard work. I'm really not cut out for any kind of manual labor.

    Alt-focus: "Your grandfather is waiting for you over in the scotch bar."
     
  16. GTE

    GTE
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    Focus: working at a daycare/nursery. Dealing with all those crying, screaming, puking, pooping machines would send me to an early grave.
     
  17. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I would NOT like to be in anything related to finance. I have a friend who started in one part of finance and is now going back to school for something else having to do with finance and every time she talks about that whole world my head just starts hurting. Numbers are a completely different language to me, and whenever I try to comprehend something using them I just power down.

    I would also never get into any kind of health-related profession. I am really sensitive so I can't even hear a story about some serious injury without being in physical pain and wooziness. I am just not good with that stuff and I would probably faint right into someone's opencavity if I ever saw a surgery.
     
  18. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Focus: Clergy.
    Alt. Focus: "Well done."
     
  19. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Focus: I would not like to work at a morgue.

    Alt: "Come on inside! There's your family, there's your friends. Oh, that girl who tormented you when you were young? She's in hell. Enjoy your stay!"
     
  20. IAmWillIAm

    IAmWillIAm
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    Average Idiot

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    Focus: Any sort of 9-5, pencil pushing job. Or a job that requires me to navigate social/group politics. Or being a cashier at a clothing store.

    Alt. focus: Yes, heaven really is eternal summer as a 6 year old.