Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

In the event of Rapture, this thread will be unmanned

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by kuhjäger, May 16, 2011.

Page 3 of 4
  1. Nettdata

    Nettdata
    Expand Collapse
    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
    2,870
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2006
    Messages:
    25,796
    I'd rather he just said "because". More believable.
     
    #41 Nettdata, May 19, 2011
  2. BL1Y

    BL1Y
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2010
    Messages:
    2,012
    I'd really love to hear a preacher Sunday morning open the service with:

    "I'm disappointed to see so many of you still here."
     
    #42 BL1Y, May 19, 2011
  3. lhprop1

    lhprop1
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1,164
     
    #43 lhprop1, May 19, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  4. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    776
    Location:
    Oregonia
    Only 200 million? That doesn't seem very worthwhile.
     
    #44 PewPewPow, May 19, 2011
  5. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    98
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,383
    Location:
    Stockholm
    I heard that there would only be 147000 Jews taken to heaven.

    So I guess that means that in the event of rapture, New York Style delis will be unmanned.
     
    #45 kuhjäger, May 19, 2011
  6. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    145
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,950
    Location:
    CT
    These people are fucking geniuses

    $135 contract to pick up your pet and care for it once you're whisked off to heaven. They even make their workers--those responsible for the pet pick-up--commit "the unforgiveable sin" so that even if they do find Jesus before the end of days, they're screwed anyway and they have to go get the pet.

    Business is up 50% over last year. Awesome.
     
    #46 effinshenanigans, May 19, 2011
  7. lhprop1

    lhprop1
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1,164
    The "terms and conditions" is pretty funny. <a class="postlink" href="http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/</a> They definitely cover their asses to prevent any legal recourse.
     
    #47 lhprop1, May 19, 2011
  8. ssycko

    ssycko
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    1,550
    Location:
    Being not a hipster
    I heard it's a rolling rapture, and countries around the world will broadcast their specific raptures the day of until all the believers are brought up to heaven.
     
    #48 ssycko, May 19, 2011
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    951
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    22,746
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    If this rapture shit fucks up my May Two-Four weekend, I'm going to be upset.

    This photo is Migiddo, the UFO landing pad Jesus is going to pop up on at 6pm this weekend and kick everybody's ass. Sinners will be able to help themselves to lots of piles of clothing around it.
    [​IMG]
     
    #49 Crown Royal, May 19, 2011
  10. Nettdata

    Nettdata
    Expand Collapse
    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
    2,870
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2006
    Messages:
    25,796
    Seriously? How can it do anything but make it more fun?
     
    #50 Nettdata, May 19, 2011
  11. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    80
    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,446
    Location:
    ATL
    I plan on selling tshirts outside Cracker Barrel this weekend-




    This is what I don't get. Why does everyone that believes in the Rapture think they're getting picked? It's the fucking Rapture, let's face it, some people are going to be "Left Behind".
     

    Attached Files:

    #51 scotchcrotch, May 19, 2011
  12. shegirl

    shegirl
    Expand Collapse
    Redemption Seeking Whore

    Reputation:
    465
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    5,458
    Location:
    Hell
    I watched Signs last night. Does that count?
     
    #52 shegirl, May 20, 2011
  13. Dread

    Dread
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2010
    Messages:
    454
    Yes, according to the Rapture™ Wikipedia page, the event will take place at 6 PM local time. Even the almighty power of the Rapture™ obeys the equally almighty power of TIME ZONES.
     
    #53 Dread, May 21, 2011
  14. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    98
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,383
    Location:
    Stockholm
    I am at my work right now and it is dead.

    We have a very large religious base of customers. They must have all been raptured.
     
    #54 kuhjäger, May 21, 2011
  15. Frank

    Frank
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    3,351
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Real question, did anyone kill themselves after the most recent rapture prediction was found to be bogus? I have a feeling a few of the people who went all in financially on this are going to spend their last dollars on nooses.
     
    #55 Frank, May 21, 2011
  16. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    98
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,383
    Location:
    Stockholm
    My wife told me that people had left cars at the side of the highway as a prank. They left the doors open and all.
     
    #56 kuhjäger, May 21, 2011
  17. zyron

    zyron
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    82
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,931
    Location:
    Connecticut
    I want to know what this dipshit does. He took his life savings of $140,000 and wasted it on billboards and other ads.
     

    Attached Files:

    #57 zyron, May 21, 2011
  18. Frank

    Frank
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    3,351
    Location:
    Connecticut
    I think he also took out a shitload of personal loans too, if I remember correctly he's a retired transit employee or something. He was the guy I had in mind when I asked.
     
    #58 Frank, May 21, 2011
  19. StayFrosty

    StayFrosty
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2010
    Messages:
    1,149
    Well, it's past 6PM and I'm still here. Not that that really means much, but the rest of the world seems to be intact. Maybe Jesus is just a few hours behind?
     
    #59 StayFrosty, May 21, 2011
  20. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    14
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,185

    Just throwing this out there: the TIB is a less than ideal group for studying The Rapture Hypothesis, with the sinning and all.
     
    #60 MoreCowbell, May 21, 2011
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 3 of 4