Is it sad or infuriating that I have been in the situation where I want to masturbate, but am too lazy and so instead procrastinate from masturbation? Am I really THAT lazy? I mean in most respects I'm not lazy at all, it's the only activity that I simultaneously want to do but also think "Nah, fuck it. I'll do it later." What the fuck? My ancestors grappled with the question "Should I forage for food today and risk death by predation, or should I lay low and risk death by starvation?" while I struggle with "Should I masturbate now, or continue sitting on my ass doing nothing in particular?" Fucking fuck.
I believe I heard my name? -Stumbleupon -TiB -http://www.clientcopia.com/index.php -Read or reread whatever books I have hanging around -get stoned -cook something -take a nap -watch a movie - usually either Blazing Saddles or something I've recently pirated -masturbate
Eh, I guess I wasn't aware that we had a member named just "moose", I was talking about MooseKnuckle, whose itinerary did not include masturbation. Sorry about that mate.
Were I a winter person, I wouldn't be doing the same. Had I been laid off going into the summer, I'd be as happy as a pig in shit. But instead I'm sitting here, near shivering, and not having the balls to go sailing. The problem is that I remember what the water felt like when it was warm. Of course, sometime late February / Mid March I'll be on the verge of insanity, and do something crazy. Like go Windsurfing in water temperatures of 40-42 degrees Fahr.
On my meh days I like to: watch tons of old and recent boxing. What's great about this is that it ends up being useful for me as a boxing writer. It's nice to be able to know I can hold my own if a conversation about Kelvin Seabrooks against Orlando Canizales ever comes up. On that note, I also love to read old Ring Magazines I have accrued over the years. Got a few issues from the '40s as well as a set from '78 and '79 and a ton from the late '90s and the '00s. watch TV box sets - best way to kill a meh day probably. Shows I have gone through specifically on lounge days: Six Feet Under, Lost [both shows are hour long episodes that have gone 5 seasons], Entourage, Trailer Park Boys, so many others read a book - been reading Bret Hart's autobiography and it has been a blast. Wrestling shoot interviews - hearing Marty Jannetty talk about when he got a blowjob from a girl in a wheelchair = hilarity
The first thing that comes to mind on a meh day is beer and plugging a guitar into my 8 track and finding out if there is some spark of a creative idea. If after 20-30 minutes I'm just not getting into it I wander off in search of something else to amuse me. Usually it involves beer and firearms, or beer and the tractor, or beer and a big fucking fire. Obviously, beer is a must.
Fuck all of you and your "off" days. I may, at most, get one or two days a year that I can just chill out and do almost nothing, and I'm lucky if those don't get bumped due to work or my useless, cloying, crone of a mother inventing some new crisis for me to respond to. I would have tossed all of you in front of a goddamn bus to have the week off between Christmas and New Year's, but instead I was in the office every day, including New Years Day, not mention going to Fedex on Saturday morning. I'm not bitter, really. So how do I spend that occasional day, or part of a day, I can hoard for myself? Walking in the woods. No noise, no phones, no people. Just me, the trees, and the occasional critter.
I was just thinking about this this morning. I was wondering how I could get more meh days. I spent close to an hour wishing that I had my own personal avatar; like in the movie. Whenever I felt like phoning it in, just boot up the avatar and send him in. Maybe if I could afford it, I would buy myself someone else's avatar. Like Jenna Jameson when she was still hot and then I could just lay around all day and fuck myself.
Working from home whenever I want is a double edged sword since any day can turn into a "meh" day. If I decide the day is truly a "meh" day I turn my phone on silent mode, fire up graboid, brew a big pot of coffee, make myself a bigger than usual breakfast and eat while I watch whatever movie or tv show I've downloaded. Graboid and Hulu have teamed up to make my "meh" days into couch potato days. God help me if I find some new series that I haven't watched yet (like Community). In the summer I lounge by the pool and smoke a cigar while I read. Otherwise I usually get stir crazy by 1 or 2 PM and venture out for a hike, walk, or to go shopping for food to make a big evening meal. When I was dating one of my neighbors my "meh" days equaled me getting laid a bunch. Sadly those days are gone.
The best 'meh' days I think I've ever had were during a finals week in college. I didn't have exams for the next two days, so I woke up at 11:00 and happened upon the (once incredible--no idea why they don't do it anymore) 007 Days of Christmas on Spike. I laid in bed that day until the marathon was over at around 3pm. I did the very same thing the next day. After that I started drinking in time to mock my roommate when he came home. Now, if I get a day to do nothing (which is rare because the girlfriend always has something that needs to be done) I'll sleep late and sit on my ass in front of the TV. This is exactly what I did on New Year's Day and it was wonderful. Hockey and then football all day long.
I'm like Guy Fawkes--it becomes a couch (or bed) potato day for me. I'll tune into USA Network or A&E and watch whatever marathon they're running that day, NCIS, House, Monk, L&O:SVU. And nap. I might even heat something up in the microwave if I'm feeling particularly ambitious. School doesn't start until the 19th, so I have two more weeks of "meh" days.
Teaching sucks because it takes much more time to take a day off than to just go to work, so "meh" days are few and far between. So I have to pray for snow every chance I get just to get a truly lazy day off. You'd think Christmas vacation would be full of great relaxing days but that's not the case...Usually Christmas vacation is so packed with getting shit done that I never feel like I've had a day off. However, this year by some stroke of luck or genius, I finished everything early and actually had a few whole days to myself. Getting projects done and cleaning is too much like work and work is exactly the opposite of what I want to do on a "meh" day. Those days are the best. And those few days were exactly how I spend all my "meh" days. I end up reading for pleasure (something I rarely get to do during the school year), downloading a shitload of songs for my ipod, and cooking, cooking, cooking. One thing is for sure--the drinking begins early, the house is full of music, my brain is happy, and my belly is super content. My witching hour is always between 3 and 5ish so it's nice when the FB can stop by to get me through the restless time. All senses indulged and satisfied.
The Food Channel. I can sit for hours on end watching and never get bored. Odd because I never attempt to actually cook anything, it just relaxes me and I have no idea why. Even if I've seen it, I'll watch. I've probably seen every episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives atleast twice. Rachael Ray, Paula Deen, Giada, The Barefoot Contessa, Chopped.....I watch them all. Did anyone watch the Super Chef competition last night? Two hours of awesome.
When I have days off I stay up really late the previous night either partying or just doing jack shit and then end up sleeping until about one or two in the afternoon, if not later. It's glorious. edit: For instance, today I woke up at 2:45 P.M. but next week I'll be waking up at 6:00 A.M. You would think I would be able to find some kind of middle ground, but I don't. My sleeping schedule is either at one extreme or the other.
Had to wake up at 7 today for some weird, depraved meetings with people I work with. Expected it to take four hours, only took one. That's what I'm talking about. UPS guy is supposed to come soon. He said between noon and 4:30, it's 2:30 now. So basically, I've sat around at my house since 9 o'clock, essentially a meh day. So...yeah. Watched two movies, fucked around on the internet for awhile...oh, and started drinking 2 hours ago. Normally I would have went down to the beach or something, but since this UPS guy gives me asshole timeframes I can't. Still very nice just sitting around the place without shit to do. Yeah...I jacked off earlier too. On a meh day, how can you not?
Back in the day (ahem...two months ago) when I used to be a cripple that could barely walk, my "meh" days consisted of sleeping in until about noon or 1pm, getting up and watching movies with my roommates until the evening, then drinking until I passed out. Now that I am able to actually do stuff because my knee is getting better, my "meh" days consist of running (yes, I actually like running), then coming back and watching movies with my roommates or myself if they're not around, then drinking with my roommates/neighbors/other friends until I pass out. I also tend to browse the internet a lot and look things up on wiki while thinking about things that I need to do, but then procrastinate by either going to run again, watching movies, or sitting on my ass. Not much has changed since my leg was broken. When my boyfriend lived on campus it also consisted of lots of sexy time.
My "meh" days consist of a lot of the History Channel and smoking my hookah. On the rare days that my girlfriend and I both have "meh" days at the same time, it usually involves not putting any clothes on until five in the afternoon and only then because I don't want to give the delivery guy the money naked.
On my meh days I usually wake up at noon, at the earliest, soaked in sweat because I chose to ignore the sun and my room now is 85 degrees. After wiping the nasty pool of drool off my pillow, I take a huge dump followed by a 30 minute shower. The rest of the day I spend masturbating, surfing the net, applying for jobs I am in no way qualified for, and gradually working up the energy to go get food. After that I'll go do some laundry, and if its nice outside I'll go to Central Park and take a nap in the field because I'm so damn groggy from sleeping so much. I'll also play guitar in intervals throughout the day, trying to learn new songs with TuxGuitar. On a related note, I don't know about you'll, but my masturbation record is 5 times in one day...I would play Halo for awhile, pause, jerk off to a dirty movie, and play more Halo. My dick looked like the surface of Death Valley.
My "meh" days are few and far between, weekends included. I can usually only manage a "meh" morning or afternoon. But when I can, I: Play World of Warcraft Play CoD:MW2 Procrastinate housework Feel guilty about not working, or suffer from the ingrained habit of working (not sure which it is exactly) Stare at Pimptress' avatar and drool into the keyboard Bitch and cuss while mowing the lawn