Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

I'm going to my cave to find my power animal..."

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Crown Royal, Jun 29, 2010.

  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    818
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    19,726
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    In my opinion, the Southern Royal Albatross is the greatest animal on this earth. It is the largest flying bird- with a twelve foot wing span- and can catch a light breeze in the air, lock it's wings like a switchblade and tear ass across the ocean at up 90 mph for hundreds of miles without flapping their wings once. They can live up to 60 years and will fly for thousands of miles just to deliver one meal to it's young. They're also the toughest bird on earth, living strictly near the Antarctic circle and rarely seeing land their entire life. They're tame as well. You can walk up to them and pet them like dogs. A friend of mine got the priviledge of seeing the Albatross in action in New Zealand. He said they stand almost as tall as us on land:

    "Your jaw is left hanging for hours. They are astonishing to see, like nothing you could imagine."



    Focus: What is your favourite animal? Why?
     
    #1 Crown Royal, Jun 29, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. Viking33

    Viking33
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    313
    The Grizzly Bear. These fuckers are the Hulk's of nature. The can exceed 1,500 lbs in size and tear your goddamn arms out of their sockets before playing a mean game of hand ball with your freshly dismembered head. They run over 30 mph and are agile enough to clothesline a side stepping LaDainian Tomlinson in his prime. They have claws that can lay your insides outside and at the same time, the females are extremely protective of their young. Mother bears will raise their young for up to two years and then hold off on sex for another 3 years, just because they can.

    One of my main goals in life is to be the proud owner of a bear cub. A fucking baby bear. I will train it to wave its arms and "RAWR" when I say the word “bear” and I will carry it around like a child. When people ask me, “What’s that?” I will extend the bear towards them and say, “A bear” to which the bear will extend its arms and "RAWR". Now you may be sitting there skeptically thinking, “Well, it won’t stay a cub forever. What are you gonna do when it grows up?” Well I will tell you. At that point I will have developed a loving report with the bear, I will sell my car, fashion a saddle for the bear, and it will become my main means of conveyance…because nobody fucks with a guy riding a bear. Nobody. Furthermore, nobody cares if you're late, so long as you arrive on a fucking bear. You can forget about getting cut off, I would love to see a meter maid with the balls to ticket a bear, and if you think pulling up in a Mercedes is impressive. Try pulling up on a bear.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    549
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,706
    Location:
    The asshole of Texas
    Western Diamond Backed Rattlesnake

    THIS should be the state reptile of Texas (not the Texas Horned Lizard/horny toad). They have an absolutely beautiful skin pattern, heat sensing pits, venom, and a rattle to sound off a warning, making them one of the most biologically advanced snakes in my opinion.
    Unfortunately, most peoples' reaction when they see one is to kill it, even though they are naturally afraid of people; if they have an escape route, they will take that every time.

    [​IMG]

    Nothing says "don't fuck with me" like a diamondback in strike position.

    Close runner up for favorite animal: Great White Shark. I'll let someone else have that one.
     
  4. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    119
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,778
    Location:
    CT
    Bask in the majesty...


    He's my favorite because I feel like I could drink a few beers with him, and then when we're good and drunk, we could jam.

    Or, if we're being serious...
    A leopard

    Because look at that thing. I'd like nothing more than to pet one of those.
     

    Attached Files:

  5. goodfornothing

    goodfornothing
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    88
    [​IMG]

    I'd be an eagle, if I could be any other animal. Hunt down rabbits and foxes and shit while gracefully soaring through the open air with my top-of-the-line eyesight.

    The king of the sky.
     
  6. Brengsek

    Brengsek
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    101
    Location:
    Where David Hasselhoff is remembered for music, no
    Behold the honey badger. The most badass, murderous and fearless motherfucker. It takes a mouse away from a puff adder, survives its bite and goes on to murder a cobra. He goes after African bees, not for the honey, but for their fucking larvae... He will not back down, he will not quit and he will fucking own anything and everything in his path. Truly impressive.

     
    #6 Brengsek, Jun 30, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  7. E. Tuffmen

    E. Tuffmen
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    53
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    904
    Location:
    Negative space
    Without a doubt the Owl. In fact, my office is full of owl statues and trinkets. Why? I like the idea that they are associated with wisdom and learning, but I also love that they are silent killers that hunt at night. I guess you could say they represent my inner serial killer.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. jennitalia

    jennitalia
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    55
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2010
    Messages:
    806
    Location:
    Canada
    I love raccoons. They're just so cute and always getting into mischief. I have mentioned this in passing to some people and now have a plethora of raccoon paraphernalia.

    A lot of my youtube favorites are cute/funny raccoon videos. What?
     
    #8 jennitalia, Jun 30, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    818
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    19,726
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    I have to post one more, but for good reason. A cuddly, homegrown critter known as the Wolverine, widely agreed by many animal experts as the most viscious animal (and best pound-for-pound fighter) on the planet. It's the Georges St. Pierre of the animal kingdom. They have been well known to rip Grizzly Bears' throats out, take on three mountain lions at once and emerge victorious, or climb up trees and tear Bald Eagles into shreds. I would rather fuck with any creature on earth than one of these Hellspawns. Here's one chasing off some wolves and hijacking their kill (low res, but check out that insane sommersault claw slash it does on the leaping wolf):

     
    #9 Crown Royal, Jun 30, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. AlexWolfe

    AlexWolfe
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    47
    Location:
    Boulder, CO
    I remember this on the old board.

    The Mantis Shrimp won the thread then, though I forget who posted it, and it will win this thread right now. There is no other animal in the world that has even 30% of the awesomeness of the Mantis Shrimp.
    [​IMG]

    Lets start with vision. The Mantis Shrimp have the best eyes of any animal in the world, and probably the universe. Here's therundown from popular science:

    From another article,this one from wired:

    Then again, an animal is only as cool as it's method of dismembering other animals. Thankfully, the Mantis Shrimp, while quite small, can strike with the force of a .22 caliber bullet. Boys and girls, we're talking about an animal that has destroyed aquarium glass with a single attack.

    Oh, and when it kills things? It doesn't even have to physically touch them. Let me repeat that: IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO FUCKING TOUCH THE SHIT IT KILLS. Instead, it strikes so hard that it HITS SHIT WITH A FUCKING SHOCK WAVE. A MOTHERFUCKING SHOCKWAVE.

    The science from wikipedia:

    Video awesome:

    Mantis Shrimp raping a crab.

    In the video, note how, due to your pitifully under-equipped simian eyesight, you can't actually see it fight the crab, only hear the clicks as it hits the shell.

    Make sure to watch until the end, it fucking ERADICATES a shrimp too. It kills it faster than you can see it; one second it's kind of hanging out, the next, it's already eaten dinner.
     
  11. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    97
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    937
    Location:
    NC
    My parents had two raccoons in the late 70's. They were cool until the male turned on my mom, latched onto her arm and had to be beaten off. My gran'daddy promptly disposed of them both. With a gun and extreme prejudice.

    Focus: I'm too indecisive to pick just one favorite for long... it was owls, then hippopotamuses, any baby mammal, etc. but the Dik-dik is pretty freakin awesome. It's a tiny little antelope. And they have a fun name.
    [​IMG]
     
  12. Arctic_Scrap

    Arctic_Scrap
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    734
    Location:
    Duluth, MN, USA
    My favorite would be the tiger, 800lbs of a killing machine. They just look bad ass and the coloring on them is awesome. There's bunches of videos on youtube of them attacking shit too. Some day I'd like to be able to pet one.

    [​IMG]

    Now, my second favorite are these guys...

    So damn creepy, I'd run like a little girl if I ever saw one. I think it would take more than a couple stomps to kill it.
    EDIT: Can't link from youtube I guess, just search giant centipede and you'll find some vids.
     
    #12 Arctic_Scrap, Jun 30, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. whatisinaname

    whatisinaname
    Expand Collapse
    Hoping to be even a fraction of the man Jim is.

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    202
    The fastest one was clocked at 270 mph in a dive. I give you the Peregrine Falcon:

    Fascinating Facts

    The Peregrine Falcon is easily recognizable as distinct from other raptors. It has black feathers on its head, sort of in the pattern of a helmet, with dark feathers around its beak that look kind of like a dark mustache (remember "mutton chops" in the 1970s?) You could say it looks like a "biker hawk". The feathers on its back are dark, with a bluish cast. The tips of the falcon's wings are very sharply "pointed".

    The peregrine is the fastest bird on record reaching horizontal cruising speeds of 65-90 kph ( 40-55 mph) and not exceeding speeds of 105-110 kph (65-68 mph). When stooping, the peregrine flies at much greater speeds.

    Pairs of Peregrines mate for life, usually setting up housekeeping high in the cliffs. Since we're running out of cliffs in Europe and the U.S., Peregrines have taken to building their nests up on top of high-rise buildings in large cities. Peregrine nests are called scrapes, or eyries and baby falcons are called eyasses. Although they have a high mortality rate, Peregrines have been known to live as long as 15 years.

    If you don't believe the stories about the incredible speed of the Peregrine Falcon, then watch the video demonstration of a falcon being clocked at diving speeds of over 200mph!

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.extremescience.com/zoom/index.php/animal-kingdom-records/51-fastest-in-the-world" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.extremescience.com/zoom/inde ... -the-world</a>
     
  14. XAM

    XAM
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    12
    Elephants. Male elephants have this thing called musth .. during this period they excrete a black thick substance from the sides of their head.

    When in musth the elephants testosterone levels become like 50 fold and they go all kinds of insane, kill each other, kill people and just generally go on a testosterone fueled horny rampage in search for elephant punani and fights.

    I read somewhere that in zoos it's a problem, when young adult male elephants get into musth. Typically elephants are altruistic and easy going, but when the musth thing goes down they've been known to kill rhinos just because they felt like stirring up some trouble.

    Awesome.

    When male elephants are in heat they become out of control fucking/killing machines with no regard for anything else but their violent sexual urges. Just writing about this makes me wish I would have occasional periods of 50 fold testosterone levels during which I'd excrete some kind of black stuff from my temples and be unhinged, forced to act upon my natural urges of sex and destruction.
     

    Attached Files:

  15. TX.

    TX.
    Expand Collapse
    The Mad Pooper

    Reputation:
    421
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,724
    Location:
    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    Swans. Specifically black swans.

    When I was 15 people started giving me anything that had to do with swans. I have dozens of swan figurines in my bedroom. I think they're pretty and graceful so I'm OK with that. And, they don't have the shitty rep cats have.
     
  16. Nitwit

    Nitwit
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,355
    Hands down, whenever I go to my power cave, I love to find this wild animal in it.
    Special tags for Chater:
     

    Attached Files:

  17. ssycko

    ssycko
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    1,550
    Location:
    Being not a hipster
    [​IMG]

    You guys better WATCH THE FUCK OUT FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKING THING IT WILL MAKE ASSHOLES OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE
     
  18. Decatur Dave

    Decatur Dave
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    481
    Location:
    The woods of Central Florida
    [​IMG]

    It's the lion's life for me. Between the fact I can eat the cubs that aren't mine, and the whole laying around all day and banging a harem, it sounds pretty sweet. I like sleeping a lot, I like eating raw meat, where do I sign up? One day I'll be usurped and go off to die alone. The circle of life continues.
     
  19. lostalldoubt86

    lostalldoubt86
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    20
    Joined:
    May 23, 2010
    Messages:
    1,032
    Location:
    Earth, The Universe

    Agree. This is from the Pittsburgh Aviary. I have 9 pictures of penguins from one visit. SO AWESOMELY MAJESTIC!!!
    [​IMG]
     
  20. MrPrime

    MrPrime
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    166
    Location:
    Victoria
    [​IMG]

    Giant Pacific Octopus, or more generally Octopus.

    Here is an animal that is color blind, but can camouflage to any thing it wants, eye site so good that researchers had to upgrade to 1080p televisions to trick them into to chasing food for a study, can fit through a space just slightly bigger than its beak, use tools (youtube coconuts and octopus), and has been know to grow to over 30' long. Oh yeah, they can kill sharks, that's right, motherfucking sharks.