I'm 22 but look 12

Nettdata · May 28, 2011

From a TiBer who wants to remain anonymous.

In a nutshell, at 22 years old, I look like I'm 12. 5' 10", 125-135 pounds depending on the week, and a baby face with some noticeably bad acne. I have been told that I'm physically appealing, though this is usually more "You're cute" than anything that could be safely assumed not to be code for "Oh my God you remind me of a puppy". I'm not emaciated, I just have a very small build - to give a measurement, my wrists are 6 1/2 inches in circumference. Adult watches, without removing several links, don't fight tit enough to stay in place until they're halfway up my forearm. I am cut, for whatever it's worth to be cut at 135 pounds, which isn't much.

About my weight, I've considered and tried weightlifting. I've all but entirely ruled this out, for two reasons - first, my job requires a decent amount of lifting. Nothing massive, but a lot of loads of 25-50 pounds, which doesn't help with muscle recovery. The second being that my metabolism is inhuman and highly variable. On a high-consumption day, I've put down a full recipe of chili (over a pound of beef alone) in about thirty minutes, without effort.

I can handle the young appearance, and for the most part I can handle the fact that people tend to treat me like I'm that age. What's frustrating me is that it is nigh-on impossible to get a date or so much as serious treatment from women because of this. I do tell myself that anyone who is going to judge me on my apparent age isn't worth my time in the first place, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm being unrealistic with that expectation.

In the past, I've had very little luck. All in all I have about a year of relationship experience, all of which has been either in my early teen years or has been very short. In case this is of any use to add, all of the women I've been involved with have been unstable. I've had an emotionally unstable and clingy self-harming girl ,a manipulative who was nearly half a decade older and about on equal ground in terms of maturity level, and a one-night stand with a friend of a friend who turned out to be either a nympho or just curious to sample every cock she could.

Most of my other experiences (and to be perfectly fair, I DO shoot myself in the foot a bit by usually going for girls about 2-6 years older) have started with me showing the interest. In most cases, the woman in question shows interest in response for a short time before blowing me off unexpectedly. In retrospect, it always appears blindingly obvious that she was taking the attention until she became bored and decided to move on to other things.

I don't get dates- having scared off a few girls by asking within a few days or a couple weeks of talking, I've tried waiting up to two months of talking and flirting, only to be turned down every time. One of my frustrations is that part of investing this time is in order to get to know someone, and most of the women I talk to, regardless of how they act with others, will only flirt. Any attempt to bring up any meaningful/thoughtful/learn-something-about-her (career interests, hobbies, etc.) conversations either flatline immediately or seem to be forgotten by the next day in favor of plain flirting.

I'm also aware that I'm far from perfect - I have my flaws, just like anyone else, although I'm maybe not quite as good at hiding them as most; on the flip side of that coin, I honestly don't see myself as a jerk or a creep. My only issue with women apart from my age is confidence - I'm not terribly lacking, but the age thing is always lurking in the back of my mind, and I think that finishes the fuck-up job my looks start. I do have some concern that I come across as begging.

For example, I tend to walk and talk with people while they're working; not while I have work to do or outside of work, but this does happen a lot as 99% of my social interactions are at work. This isn't because I feel a need to beg and follow for attention, but because I love interacting with people and having a good laugh or conversation, although again I do see where this might be misread, and I'm consciously wary of usually avoiding this behavior with someone I have an interest in.

All in all, I'm looking for a way to get past the age thing. I want to be able to have a shot at someone who isn't jailbait before I reach my 50s.

Any and all advice or criticism is appreciated.
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Nettdata · May 30, 2011

Holy fuck. Here's some advice from an anonymous member.

Seems you young-looking guys have some issues, eh?

yetAnotherYoungLookingGuy said:

Please make the advice anonymous also please.

In a nutshell, at 22 years old, I look like I'm 12. 5' 10", 125-135 pounds depending on the week, and a baby face with some noticeably bad acne. I have been told that I'm physically appealing, though this is usually more "You're cute" than anything that could be safely assumed not to be code for "Oh my God you remind me of a puppy". I'm not emaciated, I just have a very small build - to give a measurement, my wrists are 6 1/2 inches in circumference. Adult watches, without removing several links, don't fight tit enough to stay in place until they're halfway up my forearm. I am cut, for whatever it's worth to be cut at 135 pounds, which isn't much.
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I weighed 145-155 all through high school despite being 5'8 or so when I graduated. I hit 6ft and still weighed the same up until I hit about 22-23, after which I went up to 185. I was in a similar situation to yours because along with the weight, I had/have a baby face too. My advice to you is don't make such a big deal about it. Women don't really put as much emphasis on what you weigh as much as how you can make them laugh or feel good about themselves. I can assure you that you won't meet a good stable woman until you get your mindset into a good groove where you're comfortable with who you are unless it's by pure dumb luck. Don't depend on luck, make your own fortune.

If you were serious about weight lifting, you wouldn't be on this board making the same tired bullshit excuses everyone else makes about having a high metabolism or being a hard gainer. If you want further proof, I've got a log over on instrength.

I can handle the young appearance, and for the most part I can handle the fact that people tend to treat me like I'm that age. What's frustrating me is that it is nigh-on impossible to get a date or so much as serious treatment from women because of this. I do tell myself that anyone who is going to judge me on my apparent age isn't worth my time in the first place, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm being unrealistic with that expectation.
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It's not the young appearance dude, it's the attitude you convey about it and to a larger extent the attitude you carry on on life. For the most part women don't give a fuck if you've got a baby face or if you look like George Clooney. It sounds like a copout when people say that self confidence is what gets you dates, but it's totally true. The fucked up part is the Catch-22 situation you're put in to get the self confidence. You're a little young and this is what most guys go through around this age. My advice to you is hit the gym if you're serious about putting on some pounds, find some hobbies and get out of the house/work to meet promising people where the focus isn't about "getting a date" but more about having fun and actually getting to know someone.

Not getting laid makes guys neurotic I know, but you should try to relax.
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