I've had a few PM's about my "backrub with Ed Harris" comment I made in another thread, so I'll explain. I used to DJ in a nightclub in Gibsons, BC, in the late 80's and early 90's. It was the only nightclub on the Sunshine Coast, so we were pretty busy, and it was the ONLY place to go at night. In 1993, Stephen King's Needful Things was being filmed there, and Ed Harris and Bonnie Bedelia were starring in the movie, and quickly became regulars at the Club. (Ed was loving the ugly, fat chicks, by the way). I was wrapping up things one night, doing my last song, "thanks for coming out, now go away" schtick on the mic, when a beer bottle came sailing up out of the crowd and smashed into the inside wall of the DJ booth, showering me with glass. I ended up being covered in beer (it was a half-full bottle of Corona), and had a few cuts on my face due to the glass flying everywhere. After the initial shock, I looked out at the crowd, and saw the guy who did it, who was pointing and laughing, and lost my shit. I ran down, grabbed him, and absolutely pummelled him. I mean, I spent a solid 30 seconds beating the ever-loving shit out of him while his friends tried to pull me off, to no avail. Blood was everywhere, he had a busted nose, and was pretty well unconscious. I didn't care, I just kept going. The bouncers eventually got there, got me off of him, and then a bit of a scrum formed between his friends and me and the other bar staff. We were all pushing and shoving, and eventually mobbed our way out the back door and into the parking lot. It got a little ugly at that point; some car windows got busted, a few more scraps broke out, and it was only getting worse. The cops showed up and took away a few of their guys, and the staff went back inside. Needless to say, we were all amped up, pissed off, and I was getting shit from the boss for being "unprofessional" and starting a riot. I was still pissed off, and was ranting and raving and still totally whacked out on testosterone (and a few tequila shots). All the customers had left the bar by now, except for Ed Harris. He normally hung around after the bar with us, due to his VIP status. And it gave the cops a chance to follow other drivers before he tried to drive home. (There was this time he parked his car on the front lawn of a house that he wasn't renting, but that's a whole other story.) He saw I was madder than hell, and came over and started to talk to me, trying to calm me down. He wanted me to do some deep breathing exercises, some mind-focus shit, and a bunch of other "artsy" mental calming stuff. I just kept walking away from him, brushing him off. The next thing I know he's standing behind me, has grabbed my neck in both hands, and starts to rub. Full-on, two-handed, shiatsu massage type rubbing. Well, silence hit the bar, and everyone just stared, wide-eyed, at Ed Harris giving me a neck massage and back rub, while talking softly into my ear, trying to get me calmed down. And then he bent me over one of the speakers. At that point, all of my friends (redneck bouncers and loggers) totally lost their shit, laughing their ass off, pissing themselves, and scrambled to find a camera. (This was before the days of cameras in every cel phone). I have never lived that down. The only thing that I'm grateful for is the fact that there is no photographic evidence of that ever happening. On the plus side, he got me a role as an extra in the movie (Mob Thug #17), and always looked at me with a twinkle in his eye on set. He also introduced me to Max von Sydow, and I got to meet Fraser Heston (director), and Fraser's dad, Charlton Heston, when he visited. I also have a copy of Needful Things, signed by Stephen King, Ed, Bonnie, Max, Fraser, and Charlton. I think that's worth a back rub. FOCUS: Ever had a brush with greatness? A run-in with Celebrity? Share your own stories.
Over here in the UK, back when I were a wee lad of about six, we had what was called 'The Green Cross Code'. Now, for those not in the know this was a programme aimed at getting children to cross the road safely (the slogan was 'Stop, look, listen and think'). Anyway, this little slice of specialness was fronted by a costumed 'Super-hero' by the name of the Green Cross Code Man (had a nice line in green and white lycra body suits). He had a national tv add campaign, and also visited schools to hand out pearls of wisdom and reflective stickers for your coat. I was lucky enough to meet this giant of child-safety when he visited my school. Not very special I hear you cry? Well, the Green Cross Code Man was played by none other than Sir David of Prowse-AKA Darth Monkey Fudgin' Vader.
I went to high school in a coastal town just north of Santa Monica known for surfing and beaches, wild fires and the many celebrities who live there. I had a few run ins, one of the most notable was more of a nearly "run over" by Mel Gibson. I was walking to my homeroom, which entailed me having to walk through the student drop-off parking lot to get to another school building. As I am crossing I hear a car coming in fast then coming to a really quick stop a few feet from hitting me. After the quick shot of adrenaline, I notice, wow, that is a really nice Mercedes. Wow, that is being driven by Mel Gibson dropping of his kids late. He gave me an apologetic wave, and I went off. The second major one was in my church. My church had many well known people attending, Alec Baldwin (the man is enourmous, and I am 6'3) Arnie and others. However one day, while working the mass ( I was in charge of arranging all the people moving for communion, and collecting the money and so on) I noticed that there was a woman breastfeeding right next to me in the middle of mass. A very attractive woman. Ironically as the "Director of Hospitality" I was supposed to ask breastfeeidng women to go an ancillary woman, but she was being discreet, and she was pretty hot. Then I realized that she was an actress, whom I shall not name, but she is known for her distinct eyebrows and now apparently her lack of eyelashes according to a commercial that has been recently airing. Then came the part of Catholic mass where we all join hands and pray. That was the closest to first base I have ever gotten with a celeb.
When we were younger my dad liked to volunteer as for one summer weekend to help with an inner city youth program that let kids ride motor cycles instead of slangin rocks. He wasn't altruistic or anything it was just the fact that the event was held at the home of a huge motocross enduror rider at the time Scott Summers. We'd bring everything to sign, helmets, riding gear, magazine cut outs, the works. The second year we did it I was 13 or 14 and when we showed up there was a really cute woman that was in full dirt biking gear (which leaves everything to the imagination). My dad recognized her as a track side reporter for MotorWorld on ESPN. Turns out it was pre FHM/Maxim hottie, Leeann Tweeden. She was really big into riding so of coarse me and my friends talked to her forever that day about it. I remember being so dazed by her that when she offered to give us a lift down to a lake to fish we just said, "Naah we can just hoof it," later realizing that we should have taken her up on it for no other reason than this was a mini-celebrity that we'd probably never get to hang out with again. We only have one picture of her getting her hair braided by one of the inner city girls. I was barbacking a few years ago on a double when Nick Lachey came down with another guy that used to be in 98 Degrees and a few friends to get hammered at the bar I worked at. Im not a huge fan of any of the work he's done but I respected him for repping UC and nailing Jessica Simpson. They got hammered and polished off a few cases of beers between them. As the night wore on he started flirting with a really cute waitress who was working her first day. She was star struck and by the end of the night was making out with him while he was feeling up her ass (she was fired for this the next day, mostly because she shirked her work duties and was narc-ed on by the other girls). Later the same weekend he brought in his girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo and one of my buddies got to toss her off the mechanical bull we had.
I ran into Salma Hayek at the Stratosphere in Las Vegas years ago. She is very beautiful, and very VERY short. I crossed paths Phillip Anselmo (Pantera) in a hallway. He was walking full speed and his eyes were fluttering at half-mast like he was lost in space. He was big, mean-looking and pissed off about something. I did NOT get in his way or stop him. At the infamous SARStock concert in Toronto, I ran into Jim Belushi in the 600,000 strong crowd. He was surrounded by members of the Outlaws biker gang, but I went up to him anyway. He was an asshole. I got backstage at a Rob Zombie concert for being first in line (8 hours in the February cold, thank you) and got to meet the man. He's a very busy and serious guy, constantly drinking coffee and going over his many talents with his staff. He was nice (but short with his sentences) and gave me his skeleton gloves he wears at every show (I still have them). I also played a drinking game with Blasko and Tempesta (the bass player and drummer) where you watched a hardcore Italian horror movie, and do a shot of Yager every time you saw blood spilled on the screen (good night, Irene). Riggs, his weird guitar player/cousin, was an obvious sociopath and actually threatened to kill me, though I found out later he does that with everyone he meets. My longest celebrity encounter was with Canadian character actor Maury Chaykin (Harvey on Entourage, the suicidal colonel in Dances With Wolves, etc.), also in Las Vegas at the Flamingo pool. Despite he's over 300 pounds, he was wearing a dark sports coat at the pool in the searing desert heat. He was funny, fast-talking and shrewd and bought lunch for our table. A really, really great guy.
Growing up in Florida all my life, I have literally lost count of the amount of times I've run into Hulk Hogan (It's the norm around here. Everyone has a story about seeing him). I first saw him in mall when I was 5. My mom also has a picture of me with him at some other point when I saw him again a few years later. Last time I saw him was a few months ago walking down South Beach in Miami. I've also met the late Billy Mays. He was a nice guy. R.I.P.
About two years ago I was stationed in Northern California for a while and our small Marine detachment got told to send out volunteers to help with security at Pebble Beach while the golf tournament was going on. I got pegged for this duty on Saturday and was not at all happy about it. I was told to stand at the end of some bridge and told that patrons of the tournament were not to cross the bridge while golf was being played. I had no trouble with anyone staying off the bridge until Tiger was about to hit a shot from just behind it. It seemed like everyone on the course wanted to get onto this bridge at the time and it was overwhelming. I called one of my Sergeants to come help me push people back since I am a fairly small dude and he did, but there was this one guy who came running up through the crowd like he owned the damn bridge. The guy shouted for me to let him through from behind a few people and I said "no." Then the guy rushed me and tried to sneak between myself and my Sergeant, so I punched him in the face. I don't know why I did that, but I did and when I looked at the guy and helped him up to apologize, I realized it was Tom Cruise. He said it was all ok and he apologized for being pushy. He is pretty damn short.
And you know who is surprisingly nice despite what the monster the internet has made him out to be? Christian Bale. I took his passport picture, and his baby daughters passport pictures a few years ago. I had no idea until he left and my coworker came up to me,(likely moist) and started going on unintelligibly asking about what he was like, and what he said, and I was fucking confused. Then she was like, "that was Batman". Oddly enough I had just seen Batman begins a couple of days before.
Speaking of getting girls moist it really doesn't matter if it's Batman or Flavor Flav as long as you are famous for something. Case in point, when the Real World Paris cast showed up randomly and ate at the dining hall attached to my dorms my freshman year. The show had just finished airing so they where probably at their height of fame. I have never seen so many girls at once freak the fuck out. A friend I was with texted a girl we knew who was addicted to the show and she almost hyperventilated coming down to meet them. I talked to them for a minute to figure out what they were doing there. Turns out they were shooting a bar tour that involved them going city to city and partying at bars for a promotion company. A fucking company was paying them to drink at bars. Hate all you want about how bankrupt the whole reality TV concept is, but that gig, even if it isn't a long lived career, still seems pretty awesome.
I have said in a different thread that I went to high school with Taylor Swift, so I'll follow up on that post with a memorable story about her. I'd say that every interaction I with her before she was famous was pretty uninteresting, but I do have a good story that involves a my friend Mike, Taylor Swift, and her birthday. About 6 or so years ago, Taylor held a party at her house on her birthday. Seeing as we were all in like 8th grade and had nothing better to do, we went. I remember the best thing about the party was this huge bouncy house that she had set up in her house. There was also an "incident" that occurred, which we all brushed off at the time. Little did we know.... Anyways, Taylor is by all means hot now, but I would say that Hollywood helps there. She was not this in 8th grade. Past this, she was really distant from everyone, and kind of weird. So what does this have to do with the story? Well, seeing as it was her birthday and she was the center of attention and all, she wanted to dance with a cute boy. Apparently Mike was fit that build. Taylor was shy; of course she didn't bring it up to Mike--she did what's natural, and told her mom. What did her mom do? She went straight to Mike and asked him to dance with Taylor. Mike replied with a cool "no." Of course, Taylor's mom couldn't take this answer; it was her baby girls' birthday after all. "I'll pay you $20 to dance with my daughter." That's right, Taylor Swift's mom asked mike to dance with her for one song, for $20 dollars. Money was now on the proverbial table. Literally. She put $20 on a table in front of Mike. So what did Mike do? Mike left the party. One of my proudest memories associated with him.
I occasionally work in nice restaurants. However they are in Canada so seeing/serving a celebrity is still a pretty big deal. Vince Vaugn is a fucking giant. I was more impressed by his height than his identity. Crazy tall. Alan Tudyk (Wash from Serenity/Firefly) I served him but didn't recognize him until after I was closing the credit card. This was mostly due to his unreasonably hot girlfriend. Mike Holmes. I brought Mike Holmes his birthday steak. He's very pleasant.
I was working as a wheelchair attendant at the airport when my co-worker radioed me and told me to wait for him. He drove up on the cart with the siren going and I hopped in. The solo guest in back got off at baggage claim and hobbled out the door. Turned out it was Andre the Giant. He didn't look like the 7'4", 500lb titan I remembered. He looked like a dying, little man. He was.
When I was overseas I got to meet Dean Cain (Lois and Clark) and Amanda Swisten (the french maid from American Wedding). They were on some sort of tour with a few other celebrities to visit the troops, and they stopped by our FOB for a couple of days. I heard they were taking pictures with soldiers, so a few buddies and I walked over to meet them. The first thing I noticed is that Amanda is even hotter in person than on film. When I approached them and introduced myself, the first thing she said to me was "Wow, you have gorgeous eyes!". That, ladies and gentlemen, can only mean one thing: Amanda Swisten wants my hog. After I finished ejaculating in my pants, I made small talk with them and got my picture taken. They're both really nice, down to earth people.
Me too for the more predictable reason. When I was 14 and it was just getting started, my family's house was on Holmes on Homes. His work crew is really nice, and he seemed like a decent guy but he wasn't "on set" all that often. No I won't outright tell you what episode because i look like an idiot with a shaved head in the last scene (my only appearance), but its an older episode involving terribly designed floors. I've also run into Pinball Clemens (current coach of the Toronto Argonauts) at a Mcdonalds at like 4 pm. I asked him how he thought his team was going to do this year and he said he had high hopes. GJ on that btw. (They went 4W 14 L that season).
When I was working as a free lance computer tech I got a job in very upscale neighborhood in Las Vegas. As I exited the house to go pick up some hardware from my truck I heard a ruckus in the next door neighbor's yard in the most lispy, effeminate, excited voice I'd ever heard.: "Go on. Get out of here, I'll kick your ass." It was Mike Tyson threatening a stray dog.
I went on a New York City trip when I was in high school 2 years ago and seen Dave Chappelle with his son in a skate shop. They were on their way out, after buying roller blades, one of the people I was with asked for an autograph, but he said, very politely, that he was with his kids and didnt want to make them uncomfortable. He said "Sorry boys, but thanks for asking." Poor guy, I couldnt imagine what it would be like to walk down the street and have randos asking for autographs.
I've never understood what compels some people to stop someone they admire and ask for an autograph when they're out with their family. If Dave was alone, I figure he's fair game, so long as he's not giving CPR or some shit. But the guy was with his son. I mean yeah, you might miss your only opportunity otherwise, but the least you could do in return for years of hilarity is let him have his peace with his family. FOCUS: I got to drink with Dave King and the rest of Flogging Molly. A couple friends and I had just finished having a blast at Warped Tour 2004 in Calgary and needed a quiet, shit bar to chill out at for the night. We chose the Bear and Kilt, which is a dive if there ever was one. Bad beer, worse food, and it smells like a day old hooker. Place was almost empty when we walked in at 10pm, save for a handful of folks and one table in a corner close to the bar. One of my friends was first to notice who they were and starting shouting about it. That got their attention and Dave waved us over. After a couple minutes of intros and babbling (myself included), we took a seat and Dave ordered a bottle of whiskey and 9 shot glasses to the table. Caught me off guard a bit because I'd never seen that happen even in a shitty, rundown pub. Most of the night was spent listening to Dave, Bridget and Nathen tell stories about shows past and whatnot. I put in what I think was a heroic effort to keep up the pace with them, but fell short just after 1am. Those guys can pound that shit like water. I was puking sick before we hit the campsite, and stayed that way until sunrise. Those folks are genuine class. They put on a hell of a show too. The Devil's Dance Floor was especially good.
So far I have come up with: Know Socially Bret Hart Worked With Russell Peters Tommy Chong Harland Williams David Brenner John Byner Jimmy Walker Bob Saget Dave Coulier Emo Phillips Had Cocktails With Ron White Billy Joel and band Barenaked Ladies Met Fred Willard Ron Jeremy David Suzuki Howie Mandel Kissed Erik Estrada –AHAHAHA! I have met many NHL players and management, including Hall of Famers. I only ever yelled at one (fuck you Willie Plett), booed another at two reunions (never liked you in High School either Perry Berezan) and almost threw a breadstick at a turncoat cunt (Canada never wanted you anyway Brett Hull). For the sake of brevity, I only included Canadian entertainers that I know as being famous in the States as well. I didn't even bother with CFL players, because nobody really cares. If anyone wants to know the story behind any of these, feel free to ask. P.S. I have only ever asked for one autograph in my life. Thank you Billy Joel for being so gracious and signing my songsheet on Piano Man, while we had cocktails at the Rose & Crown Pub in Edmonton, Dec.5/85.
I was at a NYCC pre-party (yes I am a huge geek) with a few friends when we saw Aaron Douglas standing by himself (Chief Tyrol from BSG). I ended up having a couple beers with him while discussing the cast of BSG, what it was like to film the show, and his new show coming up for CTV. We talked for about 45 minutes, and he was a very funny, very amusing guy. This was also my first run in seeing what fame does to women. There were about 5 girls throwing themselves at him the entire time, they would keep leaving and coming back, hitting on me and my friends just to try and get a shot with him. It was really, really creepy, yet pretty amusing. The funny thing is we saw him 2 days later, doing autographs and said "hello". He didn't remember us at all, since he ended up drinking all night, ending the night at 5 am playing Wii with Mexican dishwashers in NYC. Good times.
It has been brought to my attention that I missed the biggest celebrity of all when I made my list. I can only guess that it's becuase of the inordinate amount of drugs and alcohol I've done in my life, or perhaps the sheer awesomeness of it is too much for my delicate psyche to process, therefore have buried. I give you: Gris - AKA, Chris Griffin (Now shush Chris and put down the gin, wipe your tears and chin and go to bed. Mommy made it better.)